To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

[CrabbyPaty]

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

Nothing to do with us.

I’m Welsh and have never heard of a stomper pillow either.
im wondering if it’s a bolster pillow as someone else has suggested 🤷🏼‍♀️

Irish here and not my understanding of a bolster pillow, usually double width and as mentioned cyclinder shape.

Take them away, kids in the heat of play are not going to differentiate between the pillows! Similar to what I always hear with other peoples kids especially boys when they are 'play fighting', go easy with him you're 2/3/4/5 whatever years older, kids don't register that when the game is on! Even grown men, did you ever see a couple of lads fighting in a pub or wherever, one isn't going ah well now he's 10 yrs older than me I better go easy on him!

I wouldn't cancel sleepover.

Also had no idea what a stomper pillow was but I don't think it's fair to cancel the sleepover as it affects someone else as well. The other child will have been looking forward to it. I don't think this is serious enough to cancel.

OP, pillows aside, you can’t bail on a friend at such short notice. I expect your DS was sufficiently shocked by having given his brother a nosebleed that no Rutherford punishment is necessary - and I bet you said something in the moment that made him well and truly aware that he’d done wrong! Just get rid of the sandbag pillows - they sound dangerous!

I've never heard of a stomper pillow but my ex boyfriend had a pillow that was filled with crushed nut shells so had the weight and feel of one of those fabric door stops. Maybe it's something like that? Meant to be better for the neck I think but weighed a ton and was bloody loud

Well, I’ve been around several decades and never heard of stomper pillows. Google didn’t exactly help either. Now OP explained it, still seems unusual.

OP, surely if these ‘stomper pillows’ are so dangerous in the hands of children, just get rid of them and have standard pillows that don’t hurt people?

I finally found a picture of the stomper pillow!

They are Premier Inn ones (didn’t nick them). If you had a pillow fight with them, the person you hit would need facial reconstruction.

Think I’ll now call them Stomper pillows.

Give the child a penance, putting out the rubbish, dishwasher, clean the toilet or something he'll hate doing. Leave the playdate in place.

It’s an accident. Punish him some other way

edited to add get rid of the ‘stomper’ pillows as you don’t seem to like them anyway

This, I have six pillows on my bed. One would not only have me wake up gasping for air but also I imagine be very uncomfy.

She’s probably reconsidering the offer in light of the duvets being made of lead and the mattress is a bed of nails and maybe the other kid might not be used to such creature comforts…

They were having fun and it got too rough. You go in and deal with the medical needs, talk to the boys they they won’t be able to have sleep overs with each other if they can’t be trusted to behave sensibly, and that’s dealt with. Why would you drag it out and cancel the friend coming? It was an accident.

Keep the sleepover, just get rid of the weird hard pillows. What on earth are they made of that induces a nosebleed anyway!

the Thing is cancelling the sleepover means not only is a friend going to be upset at not coming there is every chance the parents have made plans based on it. Punishments shouldn’t effect others and this one would

you don't like them but you put them in the kids's room? How are kids supposed to understand that they can fight with this pillow but not with that one? Cuddle both the kids and trash the damn pillows!

When I was a child everyone always had 2 pillows and the one underneath was much denser and heavier and I would imagine they could hurt if used strategically, especially a child. I'd forgotten all about them until this thread. In our case they were filled with feathers from our own fowls and were covered in very thick, thinly striped cotton (sort of like linen) but we didn't call them stomper pillows. I can't remember what we called them. I guess stomper is a regional name.

Buckwheat pillows?

https://putnams.co.uk/products/organic-buckwheat-hull-pillow

Is this thread a marketing ploy for stomper pillows?

Bin them. They sound dangerous and you said that you don't like them. I can't think of a reason that you would want to keep them?

That out the way, I am assuming that you're cancelling the sleepover as punishment and not because you're concerned about a repeat accident?
I don't think I would if he was apologetic and otherwise had good behaviour around this. Otherwise, I don't think the punishment really matches the crime iyswim.

We'll know when stomper pillows show up on "Mumsnet swears by"

Know we know what stomper pillows are, next question is what country are they from?

Also Northern and no idea

The heavy pillow stops the knife sliding out! Doh