To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

[CrabbyPaty]

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

Just get rid of the heavy pillows, they sound unnecessary and I think it’s confusing to the kids to allow pillow fights but only with certain pillows. Obviously once a child is hyped up and in the moment and they grab the wrong pillow they’re probably not in the right frame of mind to stop, put down the wrong pillow and find the right one, they’re just going to carry on with the heavy pillow. So either get rid of the heavy pillows or ban playing with pillows altogether or you’re just asking for this to keep happening.

Then why do hospitals always give you at least two or three pillows?

I had a pillow once that we nicknamed The Sandbag as it was so heavy but in hindsight The Stomper would have been better.

“Dear Mumsnet, I gave my children ‘stomper pillows’ to sleep on - so-named because they’re harder than the Stone of Destiny. They were free you see, and who likes to look a gift horse in the mouth?

They decided to have a pillow fight but because the pillows are rock hard and not like everyone else’s pillows, well, one of them now needs a new face.

They surely should have known better. How do I punish them - preferably in a way that will adversely affect someone who wasn’t involved in the fight?”

Well, it could have been worse if he had been whinnied with a thacket sheet.

(A thacket sheet goes between a stomper and a grobbit.)

I think your family made up the name “stomper pillow.” That doesn’t exist!

Remind me never to have a sleepover at your house 😳😂

That's just silly. We don't have grobbits here

I only got one pillow both times when I gave birth! Had to ask for another to help prop me up for breastfeeding but they certainly didn’t want to give it to me.

we were given them by DHs mum. They’re awful I don’t know why we use them

And it has never occurred to you get rid of/not use these pillows that you hate?

Another Irish vote here calling them Bolsters.
I vaguely remember my parents having one on their bed when I was growing up in the 1960s. Can honestly say haven't seen one since either in the UK or Ireland.

Agree, don’t do this.

I once drove an hour to meet a friend and her child at a park.

After about 15 minutes the child misbehaved and the mum said “right, that’s it, you were warned, we’re going home”…..and left me and my (very upset) child

This is what Google told me.😂😂😂

Stomper pillows" can refer to a few different things. It could be a decorative pillow with a specific design, like one featuring a "Bug Stomper" character, or a pillow for stomach sleepers, often featuring cooling gel or memory foam. It could also refer to a type of pillow that provides extra support, like a dakimakura (body pillow).

I've had memory foam pillows. They were a bit heavier than other pillows but not by much.

If someone Welsh could clarify that would be great please. We are going on holiday to Wales soon and I need to know whether a pillow fight will just be a bit of a giggle or end with half of us in a coma

Bolsters are the cylinder shaped ones; the long round things. OP is talking about normal flat pillows which are just very very hard. No idea what filling those have but they sound like ordinary pillow shaped pillows, not bolsters.

How old are the boys? This is surely more relevant than the precise definition of a stomper pillow ( which I’ve never heard of either and from the OP’s description sound horrible, neither use nor ornament)!

They’re not bolsters, they look like normal pillows but you know those weighted dolls you can get? Or weighted door stop teddy’s? It’s that kind of weight

Why on earth would they be on the bed?!

DH said to just remove the stompers

A glimmer of logic in amongst all this made up 'stomper' name pillow madness...

If you were okay with them having a pillow fight but only with specific pillows, then the offending pillows needed removing. No one on here was clear what a stomper pillow is so it is unlikely a you lad in the thick of a pillow fight is going to identify acceptable and non acceptable weapons. Not the boy's fault.

So why on earth do you have them on the bed?

Just get rid of them.

Don't cancel the sleepover. That would be so unfair

Are you sure they aren’t meant to be floor pillows then? I’ve had floor pillows which are like they. They are usually square though, and a bit larger but same kind of filling.

What other deadly weapons do you all sleep with?

Leaving aside the question of "what is a stomper pillow?", this always seems to be a very knee-jerk Mumsnet reaction: cancel a forthcoming, long-awaited treat because of a moment's bad behaviour, often affecting somebody else as well, and the treat is often completely unrelated to the behaviour concerned.
"AIBU to cancel my DD's 13th birthday, because she was rude?"

If you cancel it just like that, he might think "I've got nothing to lose now", and on the evening he would have had his sleepover, he will have no incentive to behave nicely, and is likely to play up further. Maybe using it as a threat for further misbehaviour (and being prepared to follow through) would be a compromise.

Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to hold host the other child.
Stick to your plans. Don’t be that parent.