To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

[CrabbyPaty]

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

What is a stomper pillow?

Anyone else googling 'what is a stomper pillow?' 😂

What is a stomper?

Just remove the stomper pillow.
(What is a stomper pillow?)

I did!

So did I and still not sure.

I’ve googled it and still not really any the wiser. It comes up with a few different options.

Same, Google had no idea

I'd just remove the pillow,if it's not there it can't be used. They are kids,it's fine & well saying don't use it but in the heat of playing it is possible to forget & it's included.

Well I would just remove the stomper pillow whatever that is.

Yes me and I’m still none the wiser !
Im with your husband, take away the pillow, problem solved. Cancelling a sleepover seems extreme , and unrelated.

Weird pillows aside, it's really crap as a child if you have been looking forward to seeing a friend and then you suddenly find out it's cancelled because the friend's parents decided to make not seeing you the punishment.

I can see WHY you want to admonish him. Although it appears to have been a one-off, an accident and using a type of pillow no-one has ever heard of. 🤷‍♀️

But your punishment will also affect another child who hasn’t done anything wrong and will doubtless be disappointed to have their treat cancelled at the last minute. Can’t you think of anything else?

Also here for the definition….

Poor friend though, looking forward to seeing his friend and then effectively being punished for your son’s behaviour.

I have no idea what is a stomper pillow but cancelling will punish DS2’s friend and possibly his parents if they have plans based around their son being away for the night. Take away the stomper pillows and problem solved. At least your DC now know why that rule was in place!

It's irritating when an OP talks about something they know full well most of us will be confused about, and they don't bother explaining.

But anyway, not allowing the sleepover doesn't negate the fact you should be banning pillow fights completely regardless.

No idea what a stomper pillow is either..
When you cancel a sleepover you punish a child that is not your own. Is that fair?

I'm deleting my account if OP doesn't come back & explain wtf a stomper pillow is.

Also here for the stomper definition

I have no idea what a stomper pillow is but presuming it is a type of pillow i.e. soft then it sounds like it was equally sided rough play that got out of hand and it could have just have easily been the other way around and DS2 that was hurt. If DS2 said sorry and they’ve both learned that whacking someone in the face with a seemingly soft object can cause a surprisingly level of injury then I’d leave it there. Sorry if I’ve got it totally wrong and a stomper pillow is actually a hard, heavy object and DS2 came up behind DS1 unprovoked for a sneak attack or something but even if that was the case I would think of another punishment that didn’t involve letting the friend and their family down.

They're probably waiting for the thread to get to 100 posts 🙄

You allow playing with pillows but have you ever said playing with pillows is fine but not this one? If you haven’t then this is on you.

What is a stomper pillow?

This^. including “no idea what is a stomper pillow”

Maybe a stomper pillow is one of those cylindrical things - like a bolster cushion that is stuffed tightly so would be like getting whacked with a sandbag!