Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

Do you actually know the purpose of AIBU? You need an audience, love.

@someon you do have to admit there are some godawful sights out there on the street and they don't seem to care about what revealing clothes they were.

Have a look at a nursing text on person centered care and then read your question and the first few lines of your post again if you can't see what's wrong with it. You refer to older women as 'they..are obsessed' as if we are all the same, and as if our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are 'obsessions'. You may well have observed generational differences (as I said), and I can understand that this may have grated on you. Perhaps you meant this as a light hearted post, but you can't really expect older women to accept being stereotyped like this! How about trying to understand where this is coming from, how social norms have changed over time, why some older women have shifted their views and some haven't.

Wait to be told to scroll on love 😅

Sorry I’ve got to disagree with you there STRONGLY!!!
There would only be about 3 daily!!!

NOW LTB!!!!

It's a hot topic of conversation among the older (70+) women in my family that's for sure.

Recently saw my aunt for the first time in a year - her first comment was about my partner's weight, then she went on to give me a run down on the current fat status of everyone in the extended family.

My own mother was always obsessed with other peoples' looks but now, having lost a few kg and seeing herself as slim for the first time, is insufferable. She never shuts up about what she eats (or doesn't) and what she weighs.

Well 70% of people agree with me, so I’m obviously not wrong. The other 30% I take are the ones offended…

If you can’t see the problem about older people (or people in general) making comments about other people’s weight and appearance then you’re part of the problem.

Must be doing a good job defending my position since the majority of voters have agreed. So how did you come up with that? You think I’m rude and blasè, again opinions are not fact. I think it’s pretty rude to call me rude and blasé just because I have an opinion on older people that you don’t agree with. You seem very controlling.

@Puppylucky
Size 16 is not horrendously overweight FFS! It’s the average size of women in the U.K. Plenty of women who are tall and a size 16 look quite slim. This sort of shit is proving the OPs point! Older family members commenting on people’s weight in a derogatory manner is definitely something I’ve witnessed in my family.

I never targeted this post at older women. I said mainly women in the post. And the title of the thread does not mention sex. Just because my job is a nurse, that doesn’t mean I have to take a person centred approach in every single opinion that I have. It’s my job not my life. Older people might not like it but it doesn’t mean that people have not experienced this. I have, many people commenting have and 70% of the voters have. So it’s fair to say, yes the majority to think that.

Yet you don't care about offending anyone else. You clearly don't see that. I also find your attitude stinks considering you're a nurse. That's a bit of honesty, which you seem to like 👍 I will scroll on now.

Having been through it, they should have the decency to not pass it onto the next generation.

I think that's what happened to millennials, their parents were obsessed with weight which they internalised and so many either became anorexics, or ended up binge eating because of shame around food (and easy access to addictive junk) or just plain self hatred.

That's why many millennials don't comment on others weights or looks, because they saw how awful it was and don't want to pass it onto others.

2 quotes on the trot calling out agism bullshit but literally proving @ByZanyRubyOrca point!

So you're fucking older than us and saying "In my day people were skinny"

🤣🤣🤣

Why would I care about offending people? What are your reasons why I should care? You won’t answer that because you know I’m right 😂You don’t care about offending me, so why would I care about offending you? You think my attitude stinks for having an opinion… ok😂😂😂 You may be shocked to hear that yes nurses will have opinions on a lot of things and shock horror you may not always agree with it or like it.

This is definitely true. I think there was a study few years ago that said that the recent generation was in danger of dying before their parents because of obesity-related illnesses.

If you don't like my comments, scroll on love. Better still, don't ask for them in the first place.

More often than not the first post nails it, but this time it’s the 3rd.

I agree - ageist shite.

I never asked for your opinion. What is it with people being too thick and not being able to read a thread. I asked if people had any experiences of this? I’ve read through your other comments and it seems you really like to argue with strangers on the internet who don’t have the same opinion as you. Bless you 🤭

I'm 65 and have never commented on anyone's weight ever.
Are you sure you're a nurse?

My experience is I’ve not noticed it. I’m mid 60s, all my friends are late 60s to mid 70s. My DBs and their partners are also in this age range. A group of us tried weight watchers about 20 years ago and at that time discussed our progress but can truly say it’s not anything we comment on. I’ve definitely noticed there are a lot more very overweight people than there were when I was a kid/teen. I do remember my DGD when she was in this mid stages of dementia would comment about any overweight care assistants in her care home. There’s no way she would have done that before she had dementia. Clearly your experience is very different to mine and others on here which I think shows generalising anything about any age, race, sex, religion etc, is just that - a generalisation.

Well even if you did, you’re hardly going to admit it are you? Nah. Just made it up

My mum will always comment on random people and say ‘they should be wearing something more flattering for their weight’ and it really annoys me. What anyone else wears makes no difference to her life so why say anything.

Sadly, I've come across many nurses with a nasty streak.

Scroll on is definitely OP default 😉

I am a nurse and am absolutely lovely ☺️

😂😅