Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

My nana thinks a size 12 is fat. Nothing to do with keeping care of yourself or not. She just thinks it’s fat full stop.

Exactly this ☝️

Why do you doubt they are a size 10?

Well you can’t say all, but is it a thing? Yes it is, and it’s extremely rude! It’s a kind of crappy put down. Most of us were told not to comment on people’s appearance growing up as that would have been considered bad manners (it is) but there is definitely an older demographic of women who aren’t so concerned.

Thats fine. People were far smaller back then. I consider 12 to be small as I was 14/16. Funnily my mum who is probably a similar age to your nana thinks I'm wasting away!!

My main aim is health rather than size. I was pretty ill recently. I wouldn't have been quite so ill if id have considered what i was eating.

Thanks for highlighting this OP, it's more common it seems than I thought and not just my mum ha. I just did a quick Google and loads of threads and articles around this, seems to generally women 80 plus who are written about

This exactly. I grew up as the fat girl 'my measurements were 36 27 36 throughout my twenties ans I was repeatedly told I was the big one, or that men wouldn't get ny size past their friends....' and I can't get over how big the girls are now and that they all have boyfriends holding their hands in public. Its refreshing to see actually but absolutely not what I'm used to seeing and no bloke in the 1980s or 90s where I lived would have been seen dead with a fat girl. I'm the wrong side of a size 18 now but I won't hold my partners hand in public as I've had it ingrained into me that I'm an embarrassment since about 1984.

OP maybe the word you were looking for was generational? My mother’s generation- her included- were of a time where you couldn’t be beautiful unless you were slim. She was, and still is, obsessed with being slim (which she’s never been, actually). It’s always been the same though, not just since she turned 60. She’s in her 70s now and still obsessed, not just with her own size and weight but everyone else’s too.

I haven’t got the age range wrong,.

Well, lots of people including me have noticed a tendency amongst some of the older generation to comment on weight. But we have mostly noticed it in people who are now late 70s and 80s. Not in people who are 60. Thus your original comment appeared incorrect, which is why you are being repeatedly challenged.

Oh dear. I obviously missed my trip for re-education. Should I go into hiding in case they come looking for me?

I guess I could always pretend and they mightn't notice. I've never commented on anyone's weight though. What sort of things should I say?

I have an auntie like this. She can’t help herself, not a good word to say about anyone really, not just about weight. If she stuck to the saying ‘if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all’ we would never hear a peep out of her. X

She still thinks a size 12 is fat now. Made a comment to her neighbour’s daughter about pilling the weight on. The daughter is 12 and 5’8…

I don't own any pearls, and if I did I wouldn't be clutching them. 😂😆

You carry on with your mindless ignorance.

People can challenge me, I’m not going to change my opinion because some people have an issue due to not reading a post properly and the debate of what age constitutes as an older person. You’ve said yes, you noticed some of the older generation do this. So yes, I stand by what I said.

I will and you make sure to carry on with your idiotic arrogance. Night nana 👋🏾

@NattyTurtle59 you’re mid sixties, 66? I’m I right. Makes perfect sense why you think that 😂

Well luckily your Nana's opinion matters not one jot to anybody on whose weight she's criticising. Bit like our opinion doesn't matter to you on an AIBU thread.

I have a good friend who is 79 that I meet for Lunch when you walk in the street with him he always tuts and makes comments and pointing saying did you see her or him he is always saying how he cannot believe how lots of women are so fat and overweight nowday’s he says no excuse for it and cannot understand why you would want to be like that I was very taken aback when I first heard him saying this to me I has telling him to lower his voice to me it’s got to a point where I expect him say it now it’s like he cannot help himself but To me it’s the norm so I do find his comments odd and obsessive

To the people who have the same shared experience, their opinions matter as that’s why I asked but the opinions from those who are offended, no I don’t care. Why would I? 😂

Yes, we get it; you keep telling us you stand by what you've said. That begs the question why you chose this category of the forum to make your post. No, you clearly don't care who you offend. Nurse you say?

This. It was rare to see someone who was perhaps a current size 16 when I was a kid in the late 60s. It’s common now. The average size of people
has changed.
I’m commenting on this because the OP raised the subject. The original post is the usual ageist crap.

Couldn’t agree more OP my mum is in her 60s and just like this. Mainly weight comments but boob size or needs make up etc etc no one escapes a comment by her, she feels the need to comment on absolutely everyone’s appearance. I find it so cringe

These replies calling the OP ageist are getting ridiculous and boring. Ok so the thread title could have been phrased better, asking if there was a generational shift in attitudes to commenting on weight. Is no-one capable of saying, 'you phrased that badly but we know what you mean'?

Again, attitudes and values change through the generations and yes, older people are, in my experience, more likely to comment on weight. As I said in my last post, my octogenarian parents live in retirement accommodation and I've got to know the other residents well. And there's a lot of weight talk!

Why do you care so much about my opinion and what I think? How does it affect you in any way really? You are way too invested in this 😂 it’s a public forum love, people can ask whatever they like, that’s the whole point. Don’t like it? Scroll on 👋🏾

So what's the problem with older people talking about weight then? If the OP is concerned that it's offensive, she's not doing a good job in defending her position, while being rude and blasé herself.