Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

Well there you go then. You’ve never had that experience which is fine. Many people have though. Both experienced are valid.

I agree in a way with OP
I work in residential elder care, and it is my experience that
Every single day I get at least one comment from a resident about my size ( how big I am but so full of energy is the usual jist of it), there will also be comments also about my hair, my clothes or how tired I look. equally they will comments about my personality , my lovely eyes or other compliments All these comments are from most of the 14 females I work with, not one of the 12 men on my unit has ever commented to me. These women are generally over the age of 80 years, nobody male or female , in their 60s or 70s would ever comment about anyone else's appearance. In fact this age cohort ,in general, will exert themselves to describe someone without reference to size , age, or race

Of course I considered that, I said that we are in an obesity crisis, you see in all the time on the wards, and childhood obesity is becoming an epidemic. However, I never said specifically that the comments were only about being fat. I said in the post “comments about weight” so weight in general. You can fat shame and skinny shame.

I agree with somewhat of what you said, mainly the first part.

I did state, it was my previous job, I don’t work in older peoples care anymore and still have that opinion and did even before I started there. However, agree that a certain perception can be amplified with time and even more so if you did didn’t realise the trend before.

The only comments I remember were from young men commenting on the size of my bust!!! Walking past workmen was like running the gauntlet. Getting older is not all bad, as I am, like all women my age, invisible 😂

I'm clearly doing 'being old', wrong. I have never, ever mentioned anyone's weight or size to them. I think I might have mentioned my worries about someone's sudden weight loss, to a mutual friend (I was worried that she was ill) but I think that's the nearest I've got to correctly being off 1955 vintage.

I previously worked with older people, I suggest you read the thread properly before commenting fake facts. I also stand by the fact I can have an opinion and also do my job professionally at the same time. The two aren’t connected. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the question I asked, the majority of the people voting also agree with me. So yes, our experiences are not isolated incidences and are indeed valid. If you find the post offensive then that’s your opinion it really doesn’t affect my life or change my view in any way. I said what I said and stand by it.

Did you read the thread? Because it’s quite clear that you haven’t. I asked people if they had the same experiences as me, some people will and others won’t. Not getting snippy, simply stating I used the term older people, I never give an exact age of what is deemed an older person. I said I worked previously with patients that were 60+. Again never said 60 year olds were old.

Also never said “50 is old” so no idea why you have mentioned that and where you got 50 from. But I stand by what I said and what I asked. I don’t find it cringey at all. I do find it cringey that you can’t understand that this is my opinion, people are going to disagree. If you don’t understand that then maybe a public forum isn’t for you?

Can confirm. Hit 60 and an obsession with strangers' weight hit me like a thunderbolt. Yeah.

A plea to posters. If you are going to use the words "older people" in your post mentally swap the word "older" for "black" or "Jewish" or "gay". If your post then becomes deeply offensive DON'T POST because you are being deeply offensive.

It's very rude, it's like saying "You never smile" or "Why don't you smile?"

It's not really much different.

Well I think it's ignorant to ask such a ridiculous question, and you should be embarrassed. Have you seriously never heard anyone under the age of 60 comment on someone's weight?

Just because a comment is perceived as 'ageist', doesn't make it untrue.

OP, this is my experience of my (80 year old) mother and her similarly aged friends.

And, yes, I know she/they don't represent every single elderly person in the whole world, there are enough threads on MN around this very topic to suggest that it's very much a 'thing'.

Let me clarify because you seem unable to follow a thread.

You : You have never met an "older" person who's not obsessed by other people's weight? Really?

My reply: Where did I say in my post I have never met an older person who’s not obsessed by other peoples weight?

No where in my post did I say “I HAVE NEVER MET an older person who’s not obsessed by other people’s weights.” Never used the words I HAVE NEVER MET. My title was “ are older people obsessed with commenting on other people’s weight. Can you see the difference? Four words are the difference.

Read the post in future before you comment. Never used the word all older people either. It’s on you to read the read properly before you comment because if you don’t, you look foolish.

Obviously not all older women.

People were less worried about making offensive comments about appearance on the past.

I know young rude people too.

My aunt 70, is lethal, she is very rude and wears it like a badge of pride, she has always been rude and overweight herself.

Well I’m not embarrassed and stand by what I said. I’m not talking about younger people I’m talking older people. That’s the whole point of the thread 🙄 But carrying on clutching your pearls 🤭

I didn’t say all women, I said mainly women. But yes agree young people are rude too, I never said in the thread that they weren’t. I said that I work with younger people and people older than me who don’t seem to make these comments.

Maybe you're quite big? Hence why people comment more. My experience is no one comments on size. I'm not super slim. I'm average 12. Plus I take care of myself.

My grandmother was terrible for this and as she got older, it got worse, particularly as she grew more deaf. Comments that were pretty awful had, at least, been muttered sotto voce. As her hearing worsened, the comments were practically bellowed and it was pretty embarrassing.

The weird thing is that my mother, an otherwise sane and rational woman who lived through all this, has now taken to cutting items about diet pills out of the newspaper and presents them to me every time we visit. As I'm not vastly overweight, I feel a bit miffed but I think I've nipped it in the bud by stating that I wouldn't consider them as I'm on enough drugs already and I don't fancy having to take these pills for the rest of my life.

Have you ever considered that not being smug and rude would be a better way of "taking care of yourself "?

Yes of course , every single older person comments on people’s weight. 🙄

I'm a size 10.....

I could have written this post. My Mum was born in 1938 and so was young in the 1960s when thin was everything. She comments on my weight, my cousins weights, friends, strangers, everyone. I also have a very unhealthy relationship with food and have been on a diet for over 20 years.

Im not being smug or rude. I was overweight, maybe obese according to BMI. It wasn't easy. Its still ongoing as I still consider myself overweight. I am far more healthy though. I do wonder why people are so quick to assume only the older generation comment on it.

... I doubt it.

My DM is 80 and will talk non stop about other peoples weight, ohhh she’s too skinny ohhh she’s fat. But NEVER about her own family of friends always about random strangers.