To report driving instructor to police

[AdeptTiger]

Driving instructor has been filming my autistic DS in the car. He's been turning the car seat heaters on, unknowingly, and DS has been coming home distressed, covered in sweat. He's put it down to nerves all along, but did think it a bit odd. We have only now discovered this as a friend, who is also a friend of the driving instructor, told us they were shown a video, and the driving instructor seems to have been taking the piss out of DS, turning the heaters on, and taking pleasure in DS becoming distressed and complaining how warm it is. He had filmed DS's distress on more than one occasion.

I confronted the driving instructor who has denied it.

I think it's absolutely abhorrent the way DS has been treated. DS is very shy and quiet, he gets extreme anxiety from social interactions. We made him take driving lessons to better his life but now feel terrible, this has been going on for 6 months and we didn't have a clue. When he comes home he is literally covered in sweat patches. We've already moved him to another driving instructor, to whom we explained what happened, but the new driving instructor seems to think it's not that big a deal and minimises the impact it had on DS...

This 60-year-old man bullying an 18-year-old neurodivergent boy is really making my blood boil and I don't know what to do. Am I overreacting? Is it just a 'joke' and a 'laugh'? Even a driving examiner friend of mine didn't seem to understand fully, or just refused to understand, brushed it under the rug and said, sort of dismissively, 'Just for a joke'. I don't think he understood DS was being filmed unknowingly, and I'm pretty sure he just thought the whole thing was made up.

Anyway, AIBU?

The second instructor's reaction is another red flag.

You need to find a specialist. There are instructors who teach only people with disabilities. My eldest had his lessons with one and passed first time.

www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor

Is it possible that the other people /"professionals" are minimising as the driving instructor profession is a "small world" where everyone knows everyone and nobody wants to speak up for fear of other unease and consequences?

This is horrific OP. So sorry your son and you all have gone through this! I’m so disgusted by this man’s behaviour. I know you’re wary of going further with it due to what else this man is involved with, but would you consider reporting it to the police even just so they have a reference point? Your son is a vulnerable adult and he won’t be the last vulnerable person this man interacts with. And then the police might have it as a reference point should something happen down the line with someone else? Could be worth just chatting to the police informally first to see - making it clear you don’t want any immediate action taken.

A couple of things spring to mind for the future.

Firstly that it is probably always best to use a company for driving lessons so there is a defined framework in the event that things go wrong.

Secondly, that parents of vulnerable (or any) young people arrange for a regular debrief regarding progress every 4 to 6 lessons.

In relation to the bullying and harassment suffered by @AdeptTiger's son, I'd report to the DVSA for information, as suggested. I'd also report it to the MASH team. I'm not persuaded that the OP has sufficient evidence for any sort of criminal conviction.

However, there may be a civil angle to this and that may prove more successful. Clearly the DI does not appear to have been rendering his side of the contract. Driving lessons are also very expensive at, what, £65ph? I imagine the op has spent about £2500 over six months for very little benefit although like therapists I think one sometimes has to try few DIs to get the right fit.

However, I wonder if the best course of action might be to see if a local solicitor could write to the a'hole driving instructor, setting out the facts from your perspective and the instructor's contractual and regulatory obligations. The letter could note that your son did not make realistic progress after 26 weeks and this is surprising taking into account the significant progress that has been made with another instructor in a very short time frame. It is also notable that your ds was calm on return from lessons and there was no evidence of stress or discomfort after lessons in the form of profuse sweating which triangulated with a more optimal learning environment being provided without the unnecessary used of heated seats.

It could be gently suggested that matters will have to be reported to the regulatory authorities but that it may be helpful if the clients losses can be mitigated and the repayment of the cost of lessons would be welcomed no later than x

It will put the wind up better than any bad review, may get you some money back and you reserve the right to report.

It will cost you about £500 plus VAT but I'd consider it worth every penny.

It’s illegal for the driving instructor to be on their phone at all during lessons - 6 points, because they’re technically ‘in charge’ of the car. They are the responsible full licence holder. So if you don’t want to sound petty or very specific in your complaint so that he knows it’s you, simply report him for being on his phone during lessons. Then it could have been anyone ;)

This.
If he is an independent self employed instructor he must surely be under some sort of jurisdiction with a code of practice in place.
But before getting this out on SM I would still be tempted to pay the local police station a visit and get their take on it…….if the instructor is so focussed on piss taking during a lesson they aren’t that invested in safe driving instruction are they?

I wonder if a charity (maybe NAS?) might not support you with how to proceed?

There is a regulators body for driving instructors as it’s illegal to take money for teaching someone unless you’re accredited by them (DH trained to do it years ago). Will try to find out what they’re called - I’d be reporting to them as they can take his license to teach away.

If all lessons are filmed by CCTV, I think you should be able to demand he hands over all footage of your son - possibly citing data protection rules (you’d have to check that). If he refuses, say you’ll report him to his professional body. If he hands it over but there are gaps - i.e he’s deleted some - then it shows some footage was dodgy. I’d also be doing an online sweep of TikTok/reels etc to see if he’s posted any. He shouldn’t be teaching and should be struck off, if that’s a thing.

https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor

Disgusting. I’d name and shame on every local group. Unfortunately I doubt the police would do much, but it’s still worth reporting incase it forms a pattern of behaviour. Your poor son, absolutely disgusting a ‘professional’ is behaving in this way. I’m glad that you were informed and able to stop it and that you confronted him.

It’s illegal to use a mobile phone when supervising a learner. Same punishment as if driver was using a phone. He should be in full control if the vehicle.

despatch.blog.gov.uk/2017/06/14/think-put-your-phone-away-during-driving-lessons/

Yes report him. I don’t know how you held yourself back I would’ve felt an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face shout at him. Bullying and seeking pleasure of tormenting someone and laughing about it to any degree is evil. Report him (I’m sure there’s a company you flag them up to), is there anyway for you to get a hold of the video as proof? I really hope your DS is ok and can find a better driving instructor.

But the CCTV would back up your story, show him messing with the controls? Also it would show the instructor filming DC.

OP how robust is your witness? It's not your word against his if the witness is happy to say they saw it.
Awful.

If he’s filming videos then he’ll be publishing them somewhere, either TikTok or Facebook! You need to get those videos deleted!

If he did this while your son was driving he must be guilty of a criminal offence by distracting your son and therefore more likely to cause a crash

This! There’s a lot this man is doing that is possibly illegal. Let the police decide and advise who should deal with this even if they don’t

Is it a hate crime to bully, mock, cause physical discomfort to someonecwith a classified disability and share videos of doing so? I'd at least ask the police. Can your friend verify the videos were shared?

My blood is boiling for you. Not sure I'd be responsible for my actions if I found out someone had been doing this to my DS ( also autistic).

I hope you can find a new teacher for him, and that your friend will help shop him to the driving school authorities. Use factual, unemotional language when you inform them and refer to any hate crime guidelines that are applicable. And name and shame on review sites. I hope he never works again.

Oh my God, that is just AWFUL. What a cunt of the highest order. He needs a serious shaming; I would definitely report him and leave bad reviews everywhere.
I hope your boy is ok x

DI shouldn't be using phone during a driving lesson anyway. (You'd have to Google the exact wording but to do with the DI actually being in charge of the car as your son is only a learner - believe it is equivalent to driving and using your mobile.)
Also, as your DS could be classed as a vulnerable adult due to his disability, this is a safeguarding issue which does need reporting to local LADO.
I think if you have concerns about this instructor you would need to report to the licensing team for DI. Only thing you can report to the police is use of mobile phone.

Agree. I’d complain. His behaviour was highly unprofessional, leaving aside the ND. If he’s capable of surreptitiously filming clients, then showing the films to others, that’s a huge breach of professional trust., whoever the client is.

But to do this to someone who has a disability may be a breach of the Equality Act or Disability Discrimination Act.

You could also consider a civil action for damages on basis of the above. You could ask a specialist solicitor via an ND charity) about the chances of success.

This is vile behaviour from the driving instructor and the thought of it has made me feel sick. Your poor son. Is he a private instructor or does he work for a company? Definitely report it to someone, I’m not sure the police could do much though.

I’ve checked the Gov website and you can complain about a driving instructors behaviour on this email: [email protected]

Aaaannndddd….. people have already suggested this! I apologise, I never read the comment threads until it’s too late😂

I hope your son gets the support he deserves with the new instructor and that this doesn’t dip his confidence.