To report driving instructor to police

[AdeptTiger]

Driving instructor has been filming my autistic DS in the car. He's been turning the car seat heaters on, unknowingly, and DS has been coming home distressed, covered in sweat. He's put it down to nerves all along, but did think it a bit odd. We have only now discovered this as a friend, who is also a friend of the driving instructor, told us they were shown a video, and the driving instructor seems to have been taking the piss out of DS, turning the heaters on, and taking pleasure in DS becoming distressed and complaining how warm it is. He had filmed DS's distress on more than one occasion.

I confronted the driving instructor who has denied it.

I think it's absolutely abhorrent the way DS has been treated. DS is very shy and quiet, he gets extreme anxiety from social interactions. We made him take driving lessons to better his life but now feel terrible, this has been going on for 6 months and we didn't have a clue. When he comes home he is literally covered in sweat patches. We've already moved him to another driving instructor, to whom we explained what happened, but the new driving instructor seems to think it's not that big a deal and minimises the impact it had on DS...

This 60-year-old man bullying an 18-year-old neurodivergent boy is really making my blood boil and I don't know what to do. Am I overreacting? Is it just a 'joke' and a 'laugh'? Even a driving examiner friend of mine didn't seem to understand fully, or just refused to understand, brushed it under the rug and said, sort of dismissively, 'Just for a joke'. I don't think he understood DS was being filmed unknowingly, and I'm pretty sure he just thought the whole thing was made up.

Anyway, AIBU?

If he was filming him from a mobile while the car is moving then I would definitely report to the police and the organisation that oversees driving instructors. He may not be driving, but I imagine the same rules would apply as he needs to be able to take control of the car at a split second if needed.

I am so sorry this happened to your son. My son had autism. He passed away as a teenager, and we had many, many incidences like this over his life where people were awful to him. It boiled my blood then, and does more so now he has gone.
We reported some bullying incidents to the police, including when’re a gang of youths who bullied my son were filmed thumping and kicking on our front door in the middle of the night. Investigated a hate crime.
However there are far more good people on the world than bad. This DI deserves reporting and I hope
your son can understand that his neurodiversity is valued by so many of us.

I’d f”ing kill the driving instructor. What a bully!

By pen, tooth or sword I would be ensuring he lived to regret his actions.

I’d try the legal advice route first/ police/ solicitor/ citizen andvide etc. Filming a minor and distributing it for sport must be an offence. Malicious use of communications act?

I’d also use social media posting and sharing on my own phase as well as on every local group telling the full story. Set up an anonymous account if you want to protect your son’s privacy. The driving will know it’s you but so what! We have a local page called Saints and Sinners where people can post about their experiences with local businesses. I’d include names images of business logo etc so no one is in any doubt

My Dad always said when people do you wrong hit them in the pocket.

I’m so sorry that your son had this awful experience. Such a despicable cruel thing to do. I really hope you floor the bollix.

Almost all driving instructors have cameras in their car? You haven’t really explained how he was bullying your DS? I don’t see how turning the seat heaters on is bullying? It’s also not a crime

@AntaresAltered Im so sorry for your loss.

Read the thread. The toe rag used his mobile phone to film OPs son.

I have read the thread, thank you. But OP doesn’t have any proof of this, only assumptions and is considering trying to report him to the police for turning seat heaters on (which is easily done by accident). I’m not defending the DI ffs, I’m just trying to get some perspective as from what OP says, there’s absolutely zero proof of any of this. Only hearsay.
However, if the person who says they saw a video and had this DI laughing about it to him, can get hold of a copy of the video then I would definitely put it on a local Facebook group! I wouldn’t care if they tried to make my life difficult, it would destroy his reputation and maybe even make him realise how bad his behaviour was 🤷🏻‍♀️
I have a DC with Autism so I do understand. I just also have had said Autistic child totally misunderstand the nuances & context of a situation before, leading her to believe something which was categorically not as she thought it was! I’m only adding another possibility… If this other person can provide proof of their claims though, then like I said, humiliate the arsehole bully!!!

I would be putting severe pressure on the ‘friend’ who was sent the video to hand it over. I would accept no BS about it having bee deleted. If they refused I would be naming them in m retaliations. A fiend would not stand aside and let your son be treated like this.

I also would have thought a driving instructor isn’t allowed to use a mobile phone when in charge of a learner driver, this is why cars have dual controls. I would definitely report him to the police and the link above on how to report a driving instructor.

Without the videos there is little you can do other than report so they have the complaint on file.

The [[https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor#:~:text=Contact%20the%20Driver%20and%20Vehicle,or%20arriving%20late%20for%20lessons DVSA deals with driving instructor complaints].
Email: [email protected]

You could also try the police. This is disability harassment but without an underlying crime it’s not a hate crime. You may have a crime in that he recorded your DS without his consent in a place where it may be considered he had a right of privacy (and then shared the video). That might be a stretch but because of your DS’s vulnerability they ought to consider it. If they decide it’s probably a crime the police will be able to get his phone to see if they can retrieve the video, though they may have a higher bar for doing so. It’s difficult to know.

If you can get your friend to share the video and, ideally, give a statement, you may be able to get more action.

It’s shocking that someone would do that to your DS. I hope he can move on quickly and it doesn’t have too much lasting impact.

REPORT brings back terrible memories of sexual harassment from a 60 year old driving instructor I had . It's all a form of abuse and they think they can get away with it .

This I am so sorry for your son - how horrific. Yes report to as many people as you can. If you live near slough in the south east please pm me the mostly loveliest driving instructor taught my nd daughter and she was amazing.

I am seething with anger and total disgust . To film without consent and then sharing is surely a civil matter and no doubt comes under the law as an ‘assault’.
The creep must be stopped and I’d be taking it to the DVSA straightaway who regulate instructors.
The fact that he is taking advantage of and humiliating a young person with autism for kicks is really quite sick and this person needs calling out. This will have been such a hideous ordeal for your lovely son. He’s likely to have done this before .. filming students ugh.. young girls even..
My ds is autistic and has sensory issues with heat and sweating and is very uncomfortable in close proximity to others, therefore I’m teaching him to drive , slowly , but he’s progressing well.
There are instructors who specialise in teaching pupils with autism/ adhd/ ocd etc and understanding of their different learning styles .
I wish him all the luck in the world with his driving and sending you courage to nail the bastard and a big hug xxx

I wonder if you can report to the Driving Examiners body ? There must be one surely. Driving instructors have a duty of care to their pupils .try another instructor the latest one is so blasé.

Driving instructors must be registered with the DVSA. I'd report to them.

"Your driving instructor’s behaviour
Contact DVSA if your driving instructor is behaving inappropriately, for example:

• using their mobile phone while you’re driving
• shouting or swearing at you
• using inappropriate language, either in person or in messages they’ve sent to you
• using unnecessary physical contact

DVSA driving instructor team [email protected] "

I'm so sorry this happened to your son. Help him to understand that he has had an encounter with a mean, abusive person, and most people are not like this. When he encounters people who treat him badly it's a reflection on them, not on him. He has done nothing wrong and most people would have been very confused and uncomfortable in that situation.

It's fairly standard practice for driving instructors to film inside the car when teaching. It protects them and the student. I'd advise getting the footage before making accusations. He'd have to be pretty stupid to film himself being so awful.

I think deliberately humiliating your son because of his disability is potentially a hate crime and showing his video is a GDPR breach, but the time to report it was before you confronted him as I’m sure he will have deleted Thee idence by now so unless your friend is willing to give evidence you have no proof.
im sorry this happened.

Report to dvsa. And doesn't do any harm to report to police though am not sure what it would fall under as a crime

i would report to the company he works for

i reported my driving instructor to his company, AA i think, as he hit me when i tried, at the wrong time, to change gear

That's not a joke, it's an abhorrent invasion of privacy and dignity. I would definitely involve the police, your son might not be the only one he's done it to.

He was using his mobile to film. It is illegal, in his position. He was causing distress (physical and emotional), to a vulnerable, disabled, teen, filming it, and then showing the film to others for kicks. You don't think that's bullying?

If I were you I’d go on every review page and say exactly what happened and then say don’t recommend him. It’s not defamation if you do this

Be careful and take legal advice before you report anything OP. This man sounds horrible.
Reporting him without any evidence would be difficult. You have your son's testimony and hearsay only.

I'm not saying to let him get away with it, just protect yourself and get advice before you do anything.