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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty neighbour

139 replies

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 21:41

So I’ve been living in my flat with my family for just over 3 years now, everyone has been lovely never had an issue with anyone, we have 1 allocated parking space for each flat and the parking is really tight, I always be careful to not hit anyone’s car door with my door but sometimes I have to lean my door on there’s to get in and out as I won’t fit otherwise and I think it’s gotten harder now as I’m 37 weeks pregnant!
so in my post box today I found a handwritten note from the neighbour who parks next to me and she’s said she’s noticed some paint marks of my car on her car and if we could call her to look into it together 😐 its just transferred paint and will come off even if you lick your finger I’m so shocked she’s actually said something like this as she knows I’m pregnant and we’re also moving out in 2 days!
Do I act like I’ve never seen the note and just leave or do I actually call her I’m literally waddling around in so much pain moving house and heavily pregnant I thought she’d be more considerate

OP posts:
SALaw · 25/05/2025 09:26

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 22:53

@BallerinaRadioI do get where she’s coming from but I wouldn’t do something like that and leave a note myself but I guess that’s just me and I’m too nice especially when we were friendly and nice to each other it’s come as a shock tbh maybe she could have worded it nicer in the letter I don’t know she was asking us to sell our wardrobe to her the other day and now she’s talking to us like this it’s just come as a bit of shock tbh

Yes, you’re definitely coming across as too nice on your posts

TY78910 · 25/05/2025 09:28

If you are convinced that it’s just a paint transfer that will come off, it means you saw it when it happened. So YABmassivelyU for not addressing it at the time it happened. Let alone now questioning your neighbour.

She isn’t being petty, she’s asked to resolve it together, because sometimes when you wipe paint a scratch can reveal itself, and then she wouldn’t have proof it was you if she cleaned off the colour. So she wants to do it together. She would be petty if she kicked off and told you to pay straight away, but instead she politely asked you to have a look with her. You are being petty by questioning her.

MidnightMusing5 · 25/05/2025 09:29

Azandme · 24/05/2025 21:59

That's not her problem, and it doesn't excuse you marking her car.

Don't be a dick.

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She’s pregnant. She’s allowed to be a dick ..

viques · 25/05/2025 09:29

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 23:19

@CanelliniBeansBut it wasn’t really damaged was it ? Ive had my brand new stone bath damaged and scratched my brand new brass radiator scratched from top to bottom, my new door frames bashed, my flooring completely ruined after paying so so much for it as well and I’ve said nothing! Because some of them was an accident and accidents happen I don’t go around asking people to go pay for it I know a lot of people would and I probably should’ve

(Sniggers at the pretentious stone bath!)

Sorry OP, as you were.

Letstheriveranswer · 25/05/2025 09:34

You should do as she asks and agree to go down with her and take a look. Because that's the reasonable thing to do. Take a wet wipe with you and see if it wipes off. Tell her you are sorry for the paint transfer.
If it doesn't wipe off you ask her what she wants to do, you can pay for Chips Away or similar or see if she wants to go through the insurance.
You don't just move away and not speak with her!!

Maybe it is just a wipeable mark but you are astonishingly blasé and arrogant about routinely leaning your car door on someone else's car and expecting them to be cool with any damage "because it's a trivial matter".

Flamingoknees · 25/05/2025 09:40

Put something between the edge of your door and hers OP, for the next 2 days. Do this any where you park, if you doubt you can avoid touching their door with yours. Keep a cloth or an old hat or something in the car.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 25/05/2025 09:50

viques · 25/05/2025 09:29

(Sniggers at the pretentious stone bath!)

Sorry OP, as you were.

Show quote history

Yes. Yet to tight to pay for damages caused by her reckless actions, pregnant or not.

knittasgonna · 25/05/2025 10:06

Yabvvu. Your pregnancy isn't her problem and doesn't give you permission to be cavalier about valid concerns that you're damaging her car. It's inconvenient for you, but that's life.

Theseventhmagpie · 25/05/2025 10:11

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 22:06

@KaTobyI’m sorry but there is nowhere else nearby to park where I live outside the car park is a double yellow line I depend on my parking space plus who am I going to randomly find to park my car for me seriously??! And no there is no way I’m fitting through a tiny gap with my huge tummy! Trust me I don’t want to damage my car either not to sound like a snob I don’t drive a cheap car it’s the tiniest bit of paint she needs to chill we’ve always been so kind to her always helped her whenever it was needed that’s why I’m shocked she come out with a note like this

You are being utterly unreasonable.

notatinydancer · 25/05/2025 10:21

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 21:56

@JojimojiI don’t think she’s realised it’s just paint because she probably hasn’t even tried to get it off maybe if she tried and then realised it was more than paint I’d understand I could literally wipe it off in front of her to prove it I don’t understand why she’s going so far to write a note to us about it and thank you!

Go and meet her with a cloth and wipe it off then. You sound like you think she should be ok with it ?

CunningLinguist1 · 25/05/2025 10:26

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 22:59

@CunningLinguist1She moans about everyone in the flat she’s going to have a good moan about the new tenants nobody bothers her but she’s one of them ones who thinks she owns the place! So good luck to her everyone else says how nice and quiet we’ve been and are upset to see us go we’re not trouble makers she’s just like I said “petty” 😂

you left paint on/scratched her car. She wrote you a polite note - she didn’t stop you in the street to screech at you (you attitude though makes it seem like that’s the case :D Waaaaay over the top) You’re in the wrong.
Even if you’re pregnant
Even if you’re moving
Even if she has complained about others at some point in her life

You certainly don’t seem to come across as the “nice person” you claim somewhere to be.
Sort the damage/wipe the paint you left. Pack, move (literally) on.

CunningLinguist1 · 25/05/2025 10:30

raisingstars · 24/05/2025 23:19

@CanelliniBeansBut it wasn’t really damaged was it ? Ive had my brand new stone bath damaged and scratched my brand new brass radiator scratched from top to bottom, my new door frames bashed, my flooring completely ruined after paying so so much for it as well and I’ve said nothing! Because some of them was an accident and accidents happen I don’t go around asking people to go pay for it I know a lot of people would and I probably should’ve

“Mrs Hyacinth Bucket, is that you?!”

CunningLinguist1 · 25/05/2025 10:31

viques · 25/05/2025 09:26

I bet the neighbours have bought the bunting already!

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…and I bet I know just what kind…

Sera1989 · 25/05/2025 11:11

I'm not quite sure what your AIBU is as the note is quite polite saying she's seen paint marks rather than you've scratched it.
But if I were you I would go or send DH to go and wipe the paint off then send a message/text to the neighbour saying you're sorry and you've wiped it off now.
I understand your space is small and you are heavily pregnant but if this happens to another neighbour's car they might not be so polite about it so you might have to come up with a way to get out without marking other cars

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