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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible argument over his smelly socks

145 replies

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:29

I've just had a nasty row with my partner over smelly socks, it sounds ridiculous I know.

He has a problem with sweaty feet. They get so bad he can't put his used socks in with the rest of the washing in the laundry basket because the smell permeates everything and stinks out the whole room.

His solution is to bag them up and keep them in the hallway cupboard until the bag is full then he does his own wash load of just socks.

His work boots are also a problem. The sweating feet are so bad they actually disintegrate the boots after a while.

He has tried various powders and creams, some of which work on a short term basis then he stops with the upkeep. He refuses to see a podiatrist.

Anyway, the smell travels out from the cupboard into the hallway and I've raised it as an issue several times. I don't want that to be the first thing I (or guests) smell when coming in.

He just gets defensive and says "what else can I do?"

I suggested finding some sort of smell proof container and he had never heard of such a thing, acted as though I should have told him about the existence of things like that. My POV is that if he'd bothered to look for solutions he would have found one but it suits him just fine as it is.

I asked him to please find something like that and buy it, he then says he has to prioritise getting his phone fixed, as though he cannot possibly do both.

I was calm and respectful when I raised the issue but it descended into him shouting and me then raising my voice to get my point across (total waste of time, he doesn't listen to anything you say once he's in defense mode)

He changed the subject and started bringing up old arguments.

Am I actually being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Surf2Live · 24/05/2025 11:32

What about a small bucket with a lid which has water and napisan (or similar) in it. That way socks go straight into solution to de smell them and are ready for laundry, no smell permeates anywhere.

And yeah, it should be him that finds a solution. As he's the one with the stinky feet here.

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:35

Surf2Live · 24/05/2025 11:32

What about a small bucket with a lid which has water and napisan (or similar) in it. That way socks go straight into solution to de smell them and are ready for laundry, no smell permeates anywhere.

And yeah, it should be him that finds a solution. As he's the one with the stinky feet here.

The cupboard is quite full at the minute (DC's bikes) so unfortunately there isn't any floor space to house a bucket with water in, though it is a good idea. He uses a normal bag and just chucks it on top.

I'm going to be donating those bikes to charity over the next fortnight as the DC have outgrown them and will be getting new ones for Christmas, so that will clear some space for it to be possible.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 24/05/2025 11:37

Keep a nappy bucket with a capitan solution in it in the bathroom.

Didntask · 24/05/2025 11:38

The bucket doesn't have to go in the cupboard. Bathroom would work.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 24/05/2025 11:38

No you aren’t.

As PP says, bucket with a lid. If there’s a treatment that sorts it out (sounds like there has been) then he needs to use it - not to do that is very disrespectful to you.

Thelnebriati · 24/05/2025 11:38

Is there room for a nappy bucket in the bathroom? That way he can pour the used liquid down the loo and refill it in the bath.
He really needs to go back to the podiatrist or his GP and get treatment. He could also use odour eaters in his boots. And you might want to check he is using cotton socks as usually man made fibres make this problem worse.

Pinkflowersinavase · 24/05/2025 11:40

Surf2Live · 24/05/2025 11:32

What about a small bucket with a lid which has water and napisan (or similar) in it. That way socks go straight into solution to de smell them and are ready for laundry, no smell permeates anywhere.

And yeah, it should be him that finds a solution. As he's the one with the stinky feet here.

Great idea !

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 24/05/2025 11:41

Mo reason why a bucket with a lid cannot be kept outside. It may sound extreme but if the lid is closed properly (some screw on) then it wouldn't be an issue

L00pyLou · 24/05/2025 11:43

There are straightforward treatments for severe sweating & most of them should be suitable for his feet. The NHS page has a good summary:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/excessive-sweating-hyperhidrosis/

Botox as a treatment for sweating can be done at private clinics if he wants to avoid seeing his GP.

DoYouReally · 24/05/2025 11:43

What else can he do?

He can see a podiatrist and get hel0 fixing the problem?

He's not addressing the problem on his own and the refusal to see someone who could help would drive me insane. He is being grossly unfair.

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 24/05/2025 11:44

Surely he needs to be addressing the cause of his smelly feet? It's not something i could just ignore and carry on with.

PeapodMcgee · 24/05/2025 11:44

Self neglect isn't very attractive. Neither is going on the defensive or bringing up old arguments. Is he a bit thick?

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:45

He would never see a GP or podiatrist unfortunately, he doesn't even go to the GP for regular health problems.

I agree it's disrespectful to me and I've said that to him. I've never known anybody as defensive as him. I cannot raise anything without him feeling attacked and becoming petulant.

OP posts:
Redamyryllis · 24/05/2025 11:45

It sounds like he has a condition called Bromidrosis. He needs to see a Podiatrist for advice.

Guavafish1 · 24/05/2025 11:47

I agree with nappy bin

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:48

PeapodMcgee · 24/05/2025 11:44

Self neglect isn't very attractive. Neither is going on the defensive or bringing up old arguments. Is he a bit thick?

I will let you reach your own conclusion on that one 😬

OP posts:
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 24/05/2025 11:48

I'd end the relationship OP. It's just disgusting that he's prepared to live with this condition abd not even attempt to sort it out, abd is happy to subject you to it too.

ArtTheClown · 24/05/2025 11:48

Shoving the socks in a bag to fester will make the smell far worse, and unless he's washing them at 90 they're probably still stinking afterwards.

TomatoSandwiches · 24/05/2025 11:48

Do you have to live with him?

Kathbrownlow · 24/05/2025 11:49

At the risk of stating the obvious, what is his personal hygiene like generally OP? My ex's feet stank but were miraculously a lot better once I introduced the idea to him of regular baths and good old fashioned soap and water.

I know that sometimes it is more serious than this, and requires specialist intervention.

outerspacepotato · 24/05/2025 11:50

He should see a doc but if he won't do you have chlorhexidine gluconate liquid soap there? The brand name here in the US is Hibiclens. Have him do a patch test first in case of allergy, then he can wash his feet with that.

Penthrowingsurvivor · 24/05/2025 11:50

Keep the napisan bucket in the bath or the shower? Just move it when you actually use the bath. No risk of water spilling everywhere if someone kicks it too.

He should also see a GP, that's not normal.

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:51

He works nights and has a bath first thing in the morning when he gets home, so he does wash regularly. He doesn't have generalised body odour or a sweating issue anywhere except his feet.

Thank you for the suggestions btw

OP posts:
Picklechicken · 24/05/2025 11:52

Is he not actually washing his feet?! Sounds absolutely disgusting.

Redamyryllis · 24/05/2025 11:52

DietCokeAddict94 · 24/05/2025 11:45

He would never see a GP or podiatrist unfortunately, he doesn't even go to the GP for regular health problems.

I agree it's disrespectful to me and I've said that to him. I've never known anybody as defensive as him. I cannot raise anything without him feeling attacked and becoming petulant.

If he won't take responsibility for his health generally than I don't know what you can do.
Sadly, I think you have a bigger problem than stinky socks.

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