Horrible argument over his smelly socks

[DietCokeAddict94]

I've just had a nasty row with my partner over smelly socks, it sounds ridiculous I know.

He has a problem with sweaty feet. They get so bad he can't put his used socks in with the rest of the washing in the laundry basket because the smell permeates everything and stinks out the whole room.

His solution is to bag them up and keep them in the hallway cupboard until the bag is full then he does his own wash load of just socks.

His work boots are also a problem. The sweating feet are so bad they actually disintegrate the boots after a while.

He has tried various powders and creams, some of which work on a short term basis then he stops with the upkeep. He refuses to see a podiatrist.

Anyway, the smell travels out from the cupboard into the hallway and I've raised it as an issue several times. I don't want that to be the first thing I (or guests) smell when coming in.

He just gets defensive and says "what else can I do?"

I suggested finding some sort of smell proof container and he had never heard of such a thing, acted as though I should have told him about the existence of things like that. My POV is that if he'd bothered to look for solutions he would have found one but it suits him just fine as it is.

I asked him to please find something like that and buy it, he then says he has to prioritise getting his phone fixed, as though he cannot possibly do both.

I was calm and respectful when I raised the issue but it descended into him shouting and me then raising my voice to get my point across (total waste of time, he doesn't listen to anything you say once he's in defense mode)

He changed the subject and started bringing up old arguments.

Am I actually being unreasonable here?

This looks like it has been made to smuggle in drugs and fool the sniffer dogs!

This isn’t a solution to the smelly feet but could he put the socks in a nappy sack before putting them in a bag together? The nappy sacks are fragranced lightly and about 80p a packet for 200. It could block the smell even slightly?

If it was me and DP, the boots would be kept in the boot of his car.
The socks I understand, keep them somewhere smell proof and wash them separate

Mabye an outdoor storage crate that is used for camping or similar to store them? Or as others said a bucket with sanitizer. Someone might have said but apparently bamboo socks are good for sweaty feet. YANBU x

Oh.. and i know he wont see anyone but hopefully in time he will and perhaps botox to the feet x

Try Botox

Have you chased up the aneurysm treatment? A year for urgent treatment is ridiculous. Can you use your right to choose to get it done more quickly?

Agree! I used to get my son to leave sports socks outside in a bucket with a lid. He used sport antibacterial wash in the bucket as the pre soak.
He does need to address this, he possibly has a fungal foot infection.

What’s wrong with your washing machine? Why can’t the socks go straight in and be washed?! Or even a quick scrub by hand in the sink, with his feet!
why do any nasty smells need to be stored?

This - plus I understand that you can have Botox to treat excessive sweating, too.

That’s for storing weed.

This is really rude of him. Why do you have to be the one who comes up with all the solutions to the smell? He should be getting medical help and doing everything to elimate the problem, from treating his infection and getting rid of the foul aroma in the home. Why should you and the rest of the family have to breath in the sickening fumes? It's inconsiderate. He's meant to be an equal partner but he sounds like a man-baby throwing a mantrum, to get you to shut up and suffer, and let him be in control of everyone's comfort/discomfort. I am very sorry that you are dealing with it. Well done for trying to to be polite but in my experience that doesn't work. Who does he think he is?

My ex's foot smell permeated everywhere in our home: the soft furnishings, the bedding...everywhere stank. And his was 'just' with poor (non existent) hygiene. I can only imagine what the OP and family is going through. I see no option but to get so angry that he is forced to do something about it. Most unpleasant.

As well as all the really good ideas from PP about cleaning feet going forward and solutions for soaking soaks in napisan, he will probably need to throw his current boots away and start again.

Appreciate that is a big expense and may not be possible, but those boots are ruined and probably not salvageable and so it will be a vicious circle of him sorting his feet out and then putting them back into stinky boots for hours everyday.

Best approach would be throw away all current socks and work boots, buy multiples of cheap but 100% cotton socks, get 2 pairs of work boots if affordable to alternate, get him to immediately start the new foot cleaning routine (!) at the same time. Otherwise, nothing will change - and he’ll be able to say look I did what you said and it hasn’t worked!

@DietCokeAddict94

Agree with @Mumofsoontobe3 scented nappy bags

Even better would be this type of nappy bin with scented liners

He smells, he's argumentative, and he's broke? Do you want to stay with him, he sounds horrible.

Plus if he does get new work boots - Odour Eater insoles in them from day one. They can’t fix boots that are already stinky but they can stop horrible smells building in new boots. Again, regularly wash/swap the insoles to extend the life of the boots

They live together and have children - it’s not like they’re simply dating! 😂

In all honesty, you’ve got a bigger problem than his smelly feet.
Yoy’ve got a husband problem.
He really needs to go the doctor about his feet and get this sorted. First of all, out of respect towards you and the children. But secondly because there is an u settling medical cause. Sweat does not necessarily smell that bad. If it stinks, there’s probably a bacterial problem. There are treatments for that. Also there are treatments for excessive sweating. If he never goes to doctors he’s been buying OTC stuff? He might be buying the wrong stuff.
I could not live with someone who refuses to go to doctors. Sorry, I’d tell him to live somewhere else till he is willing to take responsibility for his health issues.

It sounds like a bad infection of his feet, that isn’t normal sweat, second GP/Pod. No good him throwing his hands up saying “what can I do?”. He can go and actually address the problem.

Also suggest he chucks his work shoes (beyond all hope now) and gets 2 new pairs that he treats with spray before first wear plus insert which he changes and alternates the shoes daily. Also are they leather, which is more breathable?

Agree with the nappy bucket and soak in Milton or similar solution. They are sitting in a bag with bacteria breeding (odour proof container won’t help this aspect) while he builds up a sufficient load is ridiculous as well.

I’m going to go against the grain here - why can’t you sort it if it bothers you so much? Why does he have to do it? It obviously doesn’t bother him as much as you - he supports you financially with the hard work that makes his feet smell! Have you approached this kindly instead of just saying ‘he needs to deal with it’? I imagine there isn’t a lot in the relationship for him either if you’re always getting at him and not sharing a bed. You’re lucky he is still there! If you are reliant on him because of your health conditions and your children’s health conditions I would change my approach pretty sharpish.

Why are you with him? This is no way to live

One pair socks per day. Cycle through three pairs of shoes/boots, wear for max one day. Wash socks. Air shoes/boots. Wash feet. He has a bacterial or fungal condition. Bare feet where possible ie. in the garden.

Just to add 100% cotton socks and hot wash (at 60) if not already.

Honestly my dad had seriously stinky feet/socks he was eating too much cheese he was working all night and eating 12 cheese sandwiches a night when his diet changed his feet went from being fetch the exorcist to normal bit sweaty no atrocities here