Horrible argument over his smelly socks

[DietCokeAddict94]

I've just had a nasty row with my partner over smelly socks, it sounds ridiculous I know.

He has a problem with sweaty feet. They get so bad he can't put his used socks in with the rest of the washing in the laundry basket because the smell permeates everything and stinks out the whole room.

His solution is to bag them up and keep them in the hallway cupboard until the bag is full then he does his own wash load of just socks.

His work boots are also a problem. The sweating feet are so bad they actually disintegrate the boots after a while.

He has tried various powders and creams, some of which work on a short term basis then he stops with the upkeep. He refuses to see a podiatrist.

Anyway, the smell travels out from the cupboard into the hallway and I've raised it as an issue several times. I don't want that to be the first thing I (or guests) smell when coming in.

He just gets defensive and says "what else can I do?"

I suggested finding some sort of smell proof container and he had never heard of such a thing, acted as though I should have told him about the existence of things like that. My POV is that if he'd bothered to look for solutions he would have found one but it suits him just fine as it is.

I asked him to please find something like that and buy it, he then says he has to prioritise getting his phone fixed, as though he cannot possibly do both.

I was calm and respectful when I raised the issue but it descended into him shouting and me then raising my voice to get my point across (total waste of time, he doesn't listen to anything you say once he's in defense mode)

He changed the subject and started bringing up old arguments.

Am I actually being unreasonable here?

Cotton will hold on to the sweat and not dry out but viscose will let the sock dry. Either way, he needs help from a professional

I genuinely couldn’t be with someone with such bad hygiene and who refuses to get help for it. It is so disrespectful and the thought of being in a bed with him is grim.

Is he depressed? A lack of self care could be an indicator.

I had this with sports clothes when my son lived at home and it does feel disrespectful. It's horrible to live with and logically it should be his responsibility to sort it. However, in your DH's defence, he probably can't smell it the same and it may feel quite shaming, especially for someone who doesn't even like talking about his body to a doctor, hence the defensiveness. The kind way forward might be just to set up one or more of the solutions suggested on here and ask him to use it. He'd have to be quite stubborn to say no to a constructive suggestion kindly put. If you keep trying to persuade him he needs to find a solution himself that means you need to keep telling him how much his feet stink.

Get him to soak his feet in meths for a few minutes for a few nights in a row. That could be a 'manly' enough task he could take on without too much fuss.

Bicarb

Sprinkle in work boots
Sprinkle over socks
And put in the wash with them

I sorted my husband's smelly feet with getting him to use Hibiscrub daily on them until it stopped, now he just has to use it sporadically if they start to smell again. It's great. I'd really recommend it.

What socks is he wearing? The Mountain warehouse ISO cool liner socks are really good. Cotton is a bad idea.

Name changed for this, cos who wants to admit they once had truly offensive feet? Many many years ago a podiatrist suggested I try soaking my feet in potassium permanganate. You use the tiniest amount, he said to measure it out using the back of a matchstick into a basin of water. It’s pretty toxic, so please research and keep away from pets and children, but nearly 30 years on mine are still fine. Also worked for my mum and daughter.

I’m so happy I’m single

My daughter is like this. She used to get athletes foot a lot. Despite showering every day and making sure her feet are properly washed. What I found worked is washing them in a bowl of warm water and baking soda or apple cider vinegar. It neuralises the smell no more athletes foot. You can also get some spray to spray in shoes.

this was what I was going to suggest but with dettol

when he asks what do you suggest he does

goes to a podiatrist
washes his feet daily with an antibacterial soap
puts body shop peppermint lotion onto them afterwards

puts half cut onions into his work boots

Do they also offer a larger size for body disposal when you've had enough.

My DH feet were really stinky. I got a spray called Odaban from Boots and was amazed how well it works. I think you have to ask for it at the counter, otherwise it's available from online pharmacies.
It's lasts ages as you only use it every few days, and there's no disgusting buckets of sweaty sock soup!

I'm not sure about if it is genetic as I have some family that I don't know. My adult sons don't want to be tested for them!
Thank you for your lovely message ❤️

Exactly. Why are there so many men who seem to think their knob is going to shrivel up and fall off if they seek medical advice for something (especially if it's anything that causes inconvenience or discomfort to their partner)?

I had an op on my underarms years ago in my 20s for hyperhydrosis . They removed some of the sweat glands . It didn't really work but they could only remove so many .

After looking around, I discovered Anhydrol Forte roll an anti perspirant . It's magic! Solved the problem and it still isn't even needed daily .

He needs to sort out the foot problem , not the socks . Once the feet are sorted, so will the socks be !

Came on to also mention the possibility of pitted keratolysis like PP. The visual signs can be quite subtle so it’s worth considering.

My sister had really awful smelling feet for years and years but then used those socks which make the skin peel off your feet and it completely got rid of the problem. I know you weren’t asking for a solution (and it’s something he should be finding the answer to) but perhaps one to consider?

I’d be giving this as an ultimatum at this point. I don’t understand how he’s not embarrassed? If my feet smelt that bad that they were stinking the house out, I’d be off like a shot to a podiatrist. It’s so disrespectful to you for him to just expect you to tolerate it if it’s that God awful. You need to tell him that if he doesn’t make a proper effort it will be over because it’s really disrespectful and unattractive.

My husband used to do this with his sweaty gym clothes. The whole wash would be contaminated. He now rinses them and then puts them on the line then they go in the wash and it’s solved the problem!

It's sounds like hyperhidrosis as a previous poster said. It must be awful to live with that. Quire a few of my patients have it. It can be treated with things like botox and special prescriptions so a referral is essential. So bad for his feet and this time of year he rides fungal and bacterial infections so hygiene is really important.

Not at all, I couldn’t stand that!

The only solution is to leave them outside in a waterproof bag or container of some sort, same with his boots.

I was going to say , are you rude ? You are, so that would be a stupid question .OP is asking for advice .
Why are you asking her questions that insult her husband 🙄

OP, you need to buy Odaban shoe and foot powder NOW, It will change your life, and his. Nothing worked for my son either until this we bought this stuff.

I feel so bad for you as, if his socks are filling up the room with a putrid, stench, his feet will be doing the exact same.

Serious question, what is his hygiene practices like? I do get some people are sweatier than others however it really comes down to hygiene with regards to smelly feet.

If they are showering daily, wearing clean socks daily, feet are kept dry and allowed to breathe and smelly boots are replaced they won’t stink.