Horrible argument over his smelly socks

[DietCokeAddict94]

I've just had a nasty row with my partner over smelly socks, it sounds ridiculous I know.

He has a problem with sweaty feet. They get so bad he can't put his used socks in with the rest of the washing in the laundry basket because the smell permeates everything and stinks out the whole room.

His solution is to bag them up and keep them in the hallway cupboard until the bag is full then he does his own wash load of just socks.

His work boots are also a problem. The sweating feet are so bad they actually disintegrate the boots after a while.

He has tried various powders and creams, some of which work on a short term basis then he stops with the upkeep. He refuses to see a podiatrist.

Anyway, the smell travels out from the cupboard into the hallway and I've raised it as an issue several times. I don't want that to be the first thing I (or guests) smell when coming in.

He just gets defensive and says "what else can I do?"

I suggested finding some sort of smell proof container and he had never heard of such a thing, acted as though I should have told him about the existence of things like that. My POV is that if he'd bothered to look for solutions he would have found one but it suits him just fine as it is.

I asked him to please find something like that and buy it, he then says he has to prioritise getting his phone fixed, as though he cannot possibly do both.

I was calm and respectful when I raised the issue but it descended into him shouting and me then raising my voice to get my point across (total waste of time, he doesn't listen to anything you say once he's in defense mode)

He changed the subject and started bringing up old arguments.

Am I actually being unreasonable here?

Use this method but put them outside in the bucket with a lid on .. don't have it in tje house.

I had this problem about 30 years ago, after doing a 25 mile walk that totally messed up my feet.
i was told to soak my feet in a solution of Potassium Permanganate, I did that each night for a few weeks and it worked.

I haven't read all the posts so apologies if this has already been said.

What type of socks does he wear? My dh had smelly feet for years, summer was awful. Washed his feet twice a day, wore leather shoes. He owned a shop and stocked a particular type of socks that he liked and that's all he wore. A few years back he changed jobs and once his socks wore out he bought different ones and straight away we noticed the smell had gone. Can't believe the solution (for him) was so simple and that we'd had to put up with his awful feet for so long!

Ex-DH had terribly smelly feet. He asked his GP for a referral and the specialist prescribed something which he had to put on his feet every night, and then go to bed with his feet wrapped in plastic bags. It definitely worked!

Do you know where this is sold in the UK? Their UK website only shows deodorants, no foot powder…it’s not available from Amazon either.

I would wonder what the people he works with think about his smelly feet? Part of successfully holding down a job and any relationship is smelling acceptable?

What I see from your post is more than a foot smell problem. I'd just like to warn you about your partner's reaction when you try to discuss things with him. My husband was like that .In addition to being very stubborn, he would act like I was picking on him if I brought up something he didn't want to discuss. He didn't shout but he pouted so that I finally stopped trying to talk to him at all. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.Hope you can find a way to remedy your situation.

Wow. You think your life has been tough, and then you read about a situation like this. Taking the practical route and still dealing with the feet issue does the OP absolutely enormous credit, especially trying to handle it with sensitivity. That is something else.

As for the socks, I'd keep a container with a lid near the washing machine with diluted Dettol laundry cleanser - 1:1 with water. The offending articles can go straight in there to soak each morning without damaging the socks. I was in B&M earlier today for my Mrs Hinch fix and I noticed extra large bottles with lavender at £3.99. Using that, discover a system for only washing the socks that have soaked for at least three days. An hour or two in the machine just isn't enough to kill off odour-causing bacteria, but a good soak in disinfectant will. And put some Dettol on the wash too,.for good measure. Also, throw out any socks that aren't almost new and aren't almost completely natural fibres - cotton or bamboo only. If you can, start afresh with brand new socks. I seem to be able to keep socks going for years and years, but my DH goes through them constantly. TKMaxx multipacks are as good as anything I've tried and are usually around £8.99 for five pairs.

Only the reluctant patient can solve their feet, but many men would far rather suffer for years than have one or two slightly uncomfortable medical appointments. As I had a camera shoved up my uterus last week, for what turned out to be nothing, I can sort of understand it. Loss of dignity much. But I think the new socks, natural fibres and good long soaks in Dettol will help a lot, banishing the worst of it.

What were the bad socks? Some much conflicting advice on here and other sources about cotton or wool or synthetic being best (struggling with dh's very stinky feet over here...).

I have this problem with DH too .For a while he put his work boots in a sealed box outside but complained his boots were damp in the morning. I now put his boots outside for an hour and then bring them in and put a solid air freshener into each boot .

@Ryeman

These FootJoy socks; https://www.footjoy.co.uk/en_GB/men/clothing/socks/comfortsof-crew-3-pair-pack/E00COM.html?dwvar_E00COM_color=16317&dwvar_E00COM_size=7-12#start=1

Sounds like a medical issue, like imbalanced hormones, poor diet, underactive thyroid or something.

It definitely is not only the feet, he is sweating out toxins. The smelly feet are a symptom of something much larger in the body.

Consider having him soak his feet in a footbath with chlorine dioxide (CDS). It will kill any germs/bacteria/fingus if that is the issue. Also spray his shows with the CDS

I can see that this is difficult and frustrating. I am though slightly aghast at people suggesting for you to leave him over this.

However, it is the attitude and general lack of taking adult responsibility that is the problem here. for reasons related to my childhood trauma that I simply count see I never challenged Amy husband on any behaviours that were effecting me. I was living in horrible ways because of some of his behaviours, including hoarding, extreme procrastination and extreme financial control. this ended up being a factor in my getting psychosis which changed both of our lives for ever eight years ago and I lost everything id worked for including my academic career when I had worked my way there from poverty. my husband just deflected anything I brought up so nothin that bothered me was ever dealt with. I tried to tell him I was singing but he refused to see it and make adjustments. so that really has to change. I have life long disabilities now too as a direct result of the psychosis

Bodies only smell when bacteria is allowed to grow. Daily washing is fine, but what is he washing his feet in??

You can't just wash your feet then put them back into the same bacteria infested boots. He will need to use an antibacterial soap and couple that with new boots

Get some antibacterial stuff to wash his socks in too. This is going to take a combined attack, not just a bit of soap and water!!

You are not being unreasonable. The smelly socks are probably indicative of his personality type and maturity. He needs to get professional help with the sweating and he needs to acknowledge that his actions have consequences on others. It's very immature and selfish behaviour.

Weird suggestion, but you could try zinc supplements. Zinc deficiency can cause foot stank, for reasons I’m not entirely clear on.

But if he really refuses to do anything about it, how long are you going to deal with this crap for?

He could consult your GP to be sure that there is not a fungal infection.

I feel your pain but perhaps I can help. My brother and I had smelly feet. We washed them twice a day, fresh socks but still cheese smell. It was very embarrassing. I also had athletes foot due to sweating. I realised that it was sweating that caused all the problems so tried spraying my feet, including between the toes, with antiperspirant deodorant (shop's own cheap stuff is fine). End of all my foot problems for a few decades now! It is part of my daily routine. I persuaded my brother to try this too and he no longer has athletes foot. Good luck to you both 🍀

Please get him to see a podiatrist. There are a number of medical conditions that can make your feet excessively smelly.