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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend putting foot in it with DH by repeating my concerns with sex life

154 replies

Halo25 · 24/05/2025 08:46

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off here? I had a friend round last night for dinner (DH was out for a team meal). We had a couple of drinks and I confided in her that we were having a bit of a challenge with intimacy recently (in that it’s infrequent for a few reasons) but nothing that I didn’t think could be solved.

DH joined us briefly when he returned, I’m sure he’d have wanted to go straight to bed but out of politeness had a quick chat with my friend etc.

My friend brashly turns to him and says ‘you need to start giving her what she deserves or there’ll be a queue of men that will. Look at her, I’m surprised you don’t want to jump on her every night’. DH awkwardly laughed and made his excuses to go to bed.

I was horrified - my friend was drunk but for me has crossed a line. DH is furious with me for ‘oversharing’ despite my repeated apologies.

I’ve not contacted my friend yet today - would you read the riot act?

OP posts:
Motheroffive999 · 27/05/2025 17:23

I would send her a text to say that she put you in a very difficult position and your husband is hurt by her words. I would also ask her to not discuss this with anyone else.
Don't tell her anything ever again.
Hope you were able to smooth things over with your husband so that he was not upset.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 27/05/2025 20:45

Comedycook · 24/05/2025 08:55

I don't think you were wrong for discussing it with her...it's fairly normal for women to talk to friends about such things. Her behaviour was outrageous.. I'm not sure I'd bother with her again

Really? I’ve never discussed my sex life with friends, nor have any of my friends discussed their’s with me.
Maybe when you’re young, but I think in a marriage you should respect your partner and not talk about your sex life to others - unless it’s a therapist or something. But what happens between you and your husband between the sheets is not your friends business.

BruFord · 27/05/2025 20:52

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 27/05/2025 20:45

Really? I’ve never discussed my sex life with friends, nor have any of my friends discussed their’s with me.
Maybe when you’re young, but I think in a marriage you should respect your partner and not talk about your sex life to others - unless it’s a therapist or something. But what happens between you and your husband between the sheets is not your friends business.

@CannotWaitForSummervibes Glad to hear that it’s not just me and my friends who never discuss our sex lives!

greatyak · 27/05/2025 20:53

Comedycook · 24/05/2025 08:55

I don't think you were wrong for discussing it with her...it's fairly normal for women to talk to friends about such things. Her behaviour was outrageous.. I'm not sure I'd bother with her again

Would you be ok with a DH discussing the details of your sex life and problems with his mates?

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