Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

@ScandiStyle They were interested in my ring that got nicked off the side of the bath when I was living in a house share. I got it back, eventually. But it was a really easy case. The only pawn shop in the town is a Cash Converters and the bloke that nicked it used to live next door to the bloke who worked there. 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you owned a shop and someone shoplifted £300 worth of stuff, would you report it?

What if someone smashed your window with a brick?

Forget the police.

I would warn off your male friend who she's interested in though.

Tell her you're going to the Small Claims Court to recover the money and it will affect her credit score.

The Police won’t care. What are you going to say? ‘Me and a mate were arguing over a bloke and then she bent my earrings’. It’s just ridiculous. Our neighbour has had a £100k Mercedes taken from his drive and the Ring doorbell footage is clear as mustard. The Police have just given them a crime reference number.

I would reply.

Wow, you are a seriously damaged, fucked up person. We both know I didn’t stumble. We both know you were upset and fragile because you thought I was after Pete. I wasn’t. You being the unhinged individual that you are damaged my precious things because you are a spiteful, rotten human…Off to warn Pete about the local bunny boiler.

Oh yeah, and it’s break, not brake. Thick as well as fucked up.

No. Neither of them had anything to drink. It’s on the OP’s updates.

Unhinged .
I think it’s unlikely she will admit to it or give you any money .
The friendship is over - I would consider myself lucky to have discovered that she was mad and to escape this lightly!

The former is beneath the Op but the latter gets a hard Yes.

Still seems weird to me. I have loads of non valuable jewellery, just costume stuff really, and a few gold or silver bits. But no idea of the value of any of it. If someone bent a ring or bracelet (what actually can be bent anyway?) I'd not have a clue how much that was "worth".

This is an important distinction though. It may have cost @Bunnyboilerfriend over £300 to buy the jewellery but the second hand value is minimal, in which case the police may not be interested at all. Or is it's something that would have cost much more initially but is now worth £300 second hand. Or (least likely), the piece will cost £300 to replace.

So sorry OP, this sort of bad behaviour is appalling. I understand how you feel.
We installed a new kitchen. Our ‘friends’ Sue and Bob (not their real names) came to stay for the weekend. Sue loved our kitchen and repeatedly said she wanted a new kitchen too, Bob was clearly very irritated by this.
On the last day of the visit we went out for a long walk, we just got outside the house when Bob asked if he could go back in to use the toilet. We all waited outside.
We went for our walk, and immediately afterwards Bob and Sue got in their car and headed home.
On entering the kitchen I was horrified to see a chip out of our new kitchen work top, and a chip out of our new enamel stove top kettle.
So many emotions, but there was absolutely nothing we could prove or do.

It might end up in a never ending cycle of revenge like that tv series 'beef'

Another option for the OP - is Judge Rinder still taking new cases? 😘

Obviously end the friendship. But what a strange person your ex friend is - 'she thought I am after the same man'. As if a man does not have a say and this is just like many years ago, in a nursery, 'after the same toy'. Personality disorder?

God help that guy then, if she does end up ensnaring him. Block and delete her, she sounds unhinged

The police will be interested from an intelligence POV i.e. she might have got previous or will go on to do something else... It doesnt have to meet the threshold of a serious crime for police to be interested.

When ppl don't report incidents and then something serious happens and it turns out its happened before people will say 'well we didnt bother reporting it because we didnt think the police would be interested.' Thats one of the problems of the 'dont bother' attitude. A member of my family experienced a bunny boiler incident which would've elicited the 'dont bother' response but we reported it and the police treated it very seriously. Besides which, why should the OP just write it off? Bunnyboiler might wind up getting a visit or a call from a pcso which wont be pleasant.

@Bunnyboilerfriend anyone who gets that heated over someone they are interested in and then goes and breaks your stuff - wow! And lies about it - 😱. But I’d just have replied “you and I both know that is not what happened and I’m expecting you to pay for the damage”. However, you already replied in a similar vein, and I don’t think your (ex) friend will pay up. You and she know she did it. But there’s no proof. Horrible to find someone really isn’t your friend and also has done something so crazy but at least you know 😟😟😟

£300 of costume jewellery is a small amount to pay to get someone like your 'friend' out of your life. That's how I'd be looking at it.

Otherwise, I will not hesitate to pursue the matter with the utmost urgency.
Regards, “

this sounds like Hercule would say, but not only that - just what are you going to do to pursue the matter?

Hmmm - not sure it really is an important distinction because I don't think the police will be interested anyway. The OP may be 100% sure her friend did it but she can't prove it; it's her word against her friend so regardless of purchase price / current value it's not going anywhere in that respect.

From the OP's perspective, if she wants to restore herself to the position she was in before her friend damaged her jewellery then she will need to buy it again (which I assume will cost her £300).

Either way, I'd be cutting my losses and blocking the friend.

I think the police are useless with most thefts etc. Even with ring doorbell footage. But they might be prepared to get involved here as the suspect is known so it's easy for them to follow it up.

But she's clearly a nutter so decide if the hassle is worth it as she has shown what's she's capable of. She's unlikely to respond now with 'oh sorry', here's the cash. I'd block.

Bob was an inadequate little shit and resented you for what you had.

Envy runs deep.

To be honest,the fact that a so called friend would even do this,and then LIE about it,trumps any monetary value 😞

What a fucking weirdo!! Op please shag the bloke 🤣

If I had to guess, I know that she would prefer to pay, because she knows if I’ve said I’m going to do something I follow it up, and she won’t want the aggro with her friends finding out, some of who are her colleagues, she’s got a rep to protect and as far as I know she’s never done anything like this, nothing we know about anyway.

BUT she will be afraid that paying up will be an admission of guilt and will be afraid of that coming out. She’s painted herself into a corner. She’s also probably too thick to figure her way out of it, I have only now realised today how thick she is, I am embarrassed for her. She needs to fix this. Can’t just step on people like this literally and go swanning off into the sunset, not today.