Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

To be honest that would be it for me, I can't see any way back.

There's just no room in my life for anyone who spells "break" like that.

I wouldn’t mention cameras to her,she’ll ask to see the footage and will guess it is non existent when you can’t provide it.

Why on earth do you want a picture?

She has no right to do this and I do not see why I should just take it. She’s a criminal and I will make her think twice today.

I have sent this text:
”This is not up for debate.
You have the opportunity to end this matter by refunding me.
You have until midday to clarify whether you intend to do so or not.
Otherwise, I will not hesitate to pursue the matter with the utmost urgency.
Regards, “

i would say “That categorically did not happen. You were very angry last night and did this deliberately. I’m sure you regret this today but I’m hoping you are able to accept responsibility for your actions. I appreciate you may feel ashamed but I hope that we can both accept you made a horrible mistake and build back our friendship”

Well… I don’t know. If she does something like this, it’s likely she will do something else that is unhinged. It then builds a pattern of behaviour. Nobody in a ‘typical’ state of mind would even think to do that so it would be right to assume that she could go on to do other things in other relationships she feels she needs to take control.

Even if it’s logged with 101 or a web form, and police decide not to investigate, it’s there if anything else happens. And for all we know she could have cut up her ex’s shirts before and put sh*t through someone’s letterbox and suddenly there’s another allegation.

• From a quick google: ‘For low-value damage (up to £300), the police may issue a penalty notice instead of charging the offender.’

Any police officer will know that ‘a fall’ could not cause every piece of jewellery to snap and bend individually.

It was OP's home. She should be free to leave anything wherever she wants in her own home. Talk about victim blaming 😒

Do you have receipts for the jewellery ?

She sounds like a psychopath, please warn your friend.

I want to know how you found a jeweller open so early this morning who could tell you how much it was going to cost to repair it ....!

I do hope you get something from her, though. That was downright nasty of her.

Photograph the damage.
Absolutely report her to the police.
Let her name be in their system.
Then lodge with the Small Claims Court.

Get with the guy she is after - and post it all over SM.

It will go nowhere with the police, you cannot prove she damaged it, she can simply say she didn’t and you did it yourself

I know you've sent the message but I would be clearer about this.

If she doesn't admit it and agree to pay for the damage, you say something like this:

"I don't think you have understood the gravity of the situation. You have deliberately damaged my property. This is a criminal offence.

In my original message I simply asked you what had happened to my jewellery. I didn't mention it being broken. The fact that you know it was broken shows that you know exactly what happened. We both know that I did not drunkenly bump into the console, and that even if I had it would not have caused that kind of damage. My jewellery has been deliberately bent out of shape and you were the only person in my house last night. Your fingerprints will be all over the console.

You have one last opportunity to apologise and agree to pay for the damage, otherwise I will be reporting you to the police for criminal damage and pursuing you separately in the small claims court for my financial loss.

In addition to this, I will tell all our mutual acquaintances, including Steve, what you have done.

So, what's it to be?"

People saying it's not a police matter – it's criminal damage of £300 worth of someone else's belongings. That's a chargeable offence. Should we just let everyone off the hook for stuff like this?

I'm sure she's quaking after reading that!

🙋‍♀️ Two.

You definitely did not fall on it. Metal doesn't just get bent out of shape. If you fell on it, you'd have sent it flying but not broken it. I would be tempted to call her bluff and say that you have a small security camera in the hall facing the door and that picked something up.

Your friend is a psycho. Stay away.

Don't be so ridiculous

Also, if you fall from stairs on top of a console with such impact that it could (somehow 🙄) cause damage to items on top, you’d be bruised black and blue.

@AthWat because I've been on mn a long time and it's quite far fetched?

”Utmost urgency”. You’ve gone all Rumploe of the Bailey.
You both know the truth. Tell everyone else, shag the bloke, whatever.
Don’t waste your time with idle threats of things that are not going to happen. Never communicate with her again.

F'kin ell. Bunny boiler alert.

The OP has no evidence whatsoever that her friend did this .. not a shred. Nobody on this thread has… what do you think the police are going to do ? They are going to issue a notice based on “I think that’s probably what happened”