Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

Yes, that's right, I'm the friend. How perceptive of you! In fact, everyone here saynig the police won't act on this is the friend.

Did you ever speak to Sue and Bob about it? I’d have at least told Sue what you saw when you went inside and explained that, due to that, they would never be invited back.

Well unless the mutual friend is perhaps Uri Geller who else would have done it ?!

Of course there should be better funding and more resources but at the moment there are not, and though she might get a PCSO come to her door if she phones it in, that will be the extent of it.
It's not about what ought to happen, it's about what will.

I guess maybe she could have put something heavy down on it unthinkingly or similar.

It’s unlikely, but also “never say never.” If you don’t know, you don’t know.

Too unlikely for me to feel comfortable around her though, as if it was intentional, it’s really vicious

What do you mean "you were both drinking"? Neither of them were drinking!

Honestly? I think you’re unnecessarily pessimistic about this and are possibly projecting your own issues. In any case you are not in a decision making position.

In terms of the police, they have a clear person of interest to investigate. That already makes their job significantly easier. “One person’s word against another” also isn’t as large as a barrier as you are fear-mongering about, it is fairly simply to disprove the outlandish version of events proposed. In fact having a stupid claim put forward by the offender, may pique the interest of the police as opposed to a reasonable explanation.

What "issues" of my own do you think I am "projecting" when I say the police don't have the time to devote resources to incidents this minor when there is no evidence presented?

Now usually I’m an advocate of that but if this is word for word true she is unhinged, you can’t talk someone out of that. And even if she did say yes I was enraged I can’t control myself what do you then say?

She sounds like a sociopath doing that. I wouldn't go near her ever again.

I think you should have maybe pointed out you mentioned nothing about anything being broken. She’s practically admitted it by saying that.

If it's all so simple- call police etc etc- why are thousands of shoplifters getting away with it in plain sight?

This is damage (not theft) to some 'costume' jewellery. It's not going to get the attention you think.

Honestly, some posters here seem not to live in the real world.

Thick is right.

You need to brake up with her :)

Brake?

The main reason they get away with it is because the stores choose not to proscute.

Yes, I'm not clear on what 'with utmost urgency' means, either, and I suspect neither will the friend because it sounds like a fairly ill-defined, vague threat.

It all sounds a bit mad, OP. Have you been friends for a long time?

Because it seems to leap crazily fast from her being enough of a good friend to stay over in your house overnight, to a sudden argument, based on a misunderstanding, over you both fancying the same mutual friend, that made her 'upset and angry', though apparently you parted for the night amicably, and now she's apparently damaged a lot of jewellery as revenge but says you did it by falling on the hall table, and now you're calling her a criminal and threatening her?

Is this one of these Mn situations where 'friend' means 'someone I know, but don't much like, with whom I have regular disagreements and and of whom I'm willing to think ill'?

Check whether the jewellery is covered by your contents insurance and if it is you might have to report to the police to be able to make a claim

The poster was making a joke. See the smiley?
Re-read the message that the 'friend' sent to OP.

Bizarre behaviour

You what??

It’s their literal job! Resourcing of the police is not the OP’s concern.

How did she know you thought it was broken - what was your message? The way you wrote it in your OP it doesn’t actually say it was damaged. So odd she’d jump to that conclusion unless she knows it is damaged. Could be lost, misplaced?

Exactly! OP if you need to text her any more, I'd definitely highlight that you didn't mention about breakage, the fact she suggested that shows her guilt. Also, please defend yourself against the lie that you stumbled and clarify that didn't happen, as of course you'd remember such a thing especially given that alcohol wasn't a factor. Your ex-mate sounds loopy and unhinged!

don’t let her get away with it

Ooh - very Colleen Rooney of you! Lured her into your trap!

That's awful OP, but at least you know where you stand with her now and what she's really like. You're well rid of her as a friend.

Be prepared for her to make you out as some sort of headcase if you have any mutual friends, so have a pre-prepared statement planned if anyone should ever mention it.

"Yes, I stopped spending time with her when she mistakenly believed I was interested in the same man as her and then destroyed £300 of my jewellery as some sort of act of revenge."

(Excellent choice of user name BTW - hopefully this man she's interested in doesn't ever reciprocate those feelings for his own sake!)