Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

he'll probably want to stay away from both of them and not get into the middle of a fist fight 😂

What was the "something"? If you came home and found the butler had been shot in the drawing room then of course they were good about fingerprinting.

The friend isn't 9 years old. It is seriously concerning that she would do this. I'd want it logged.

Who knows when next she'll decide to blame OP or someone else for something.

Block and move on. Give it no further thought. Replace the stuff yourself.

It was something you would consider minor. And it involved jewellery that wasn't stolen.

Sigh. Show me you know nothing about police procedure by showing me you know nothing about police procedure.

People have been convicted for murder based on compelling circumstantial evidence alone. It's admissible in court and can be a crucial part of a prosecution case. The friend can deny it all she wants but jewellery doesn't bend completely out of shape just by being nudged on a table and not even falling to the floor. So the police wouldn't just take her word for it and go 'oh well, that's done and dusted, let's all go have a nice cup of tea'. 🙄

Surely you can see that having it 'logged'(even if the police were to agree which is unlikely) it's only going to make the 'friend' more likely to do more damage or make life miserable for the OP- even by posting on social media etc- there are other ways of 'getting at someone' apart from damaging jewellery.

Nothing wrong with wanting it logged. Just don't expect them to do anything but log it.

Oh my god that is appalling. I'd be furious! Did you ever bring it up with them?

I would report it to to the police, fully expecting them not to investigate, they will give you a crime number for your insurance should you wish to claim. Your increased premium might but make it worth it though.
Definitely check the rest of your house for any other damage. But a new toothbrush, check around for anything that might start to smell that sort of thing. And tell the man in question.

😆 🤣

Here's some info on criminal damage: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/criminal-damage/

Honestly? The police have nothing but the OP's word. Do you think they prosecute on that?

As far as they are concerned if the OP might be lying and the friend might be lying, there's no evidence either way. And as the "crime" is so trivial, it's not worth any resources to do any investigation to see if there is any corroborating evidence.
A civil court of course is different. There it's often one person's word against another.

For that I would get the man she wants

Are you the friend?
Damaging property is one of the key signs in intimidation, bullying, coercive control, and domestic abuse.
Fingerprinting isn't hard to do.
Stalking happens. People can be volatile.
Women don't get a free pass to be vile to other women.

I think most of the comments here are ridiculous.

I assume no one here has much experience of how the police are now working.
By phoning, you will get a recorded message. They will assess if anything needs to be done. It's likely they won't.

An elderly friend of mine had her garage broken into, lots of tools stolen, huge damage to the doors, she lives alone and at first the police were not remotely interested in going to see her or the damage. It took her to call them again, and 'beg' they came out as she felt vulnerable.

All the Don't Try counsellors of despair on here need to go out and touch grass.

And maybe volunteer as police community officers.

All the 'call the police' posters clearly are a in lala land, because they don't realise that the 'crime number' is an answerphone, no action will be taken and this is petty damage that doesn't even figure on their radar

I'd tell her in a few weeks you've fucked the bloke. Same effect, less effort. 😎

She sounds unhinged. There is nothing you can do about it legally as it’s her word against yours. Just cut your losses and have nothing further to do with her.

How classy.

Tell EVERYONE- send photos

Prosecuting is ultimately a decision for the CPS. But would officers been sent out if OP reported it? Yes. Criminal damage to someone's property in their own home isn't trivial and the fact people are so dismissive is why we have shockingly high unsolved crime numbers. The public is too quick to let the police and the Govt off the hook when it comes to tackling others breaking the law. There should be better funding and more resources.

Well this is shit if you are sure it is her, she is unhinged.
However, it's not a police matter. They are hardly going to come and fingerprint your jewelry to determine it was her. You were both drinking, its her word against yours, no evidence and quite frankly a waste of police time and money.

To be honest this is a moment where you need to think rationally and not act with haste.

I don’t think your text messages to her paint you in a good light, because you may need to rely on these messages in the future as evidence of an issue but the messages are quite weak and ambiguous.

Eg in your first message it would have been better if you directly said what the issue is (ie jewellery being pulled apart/broken). Then instead of “this is not up for debate” you should have stated that you did not fall and that you are shocked by her bizarre allegation. Add something like yesterday the jewellery was in good condition and following her being in your house, it has been damaged. In any case, you falling would not cause jewellery to be bent out of shape as the precise force required wouldn’t be met.

Secondly I think you should escalate regardless. Certainly call the police. They are NOT going to investigate this with urgency and they may not even take action but the record of the police report would strengthen your case should you make an insurance claim or a money claim online. If the police do investigate, then there could be evidence they obtain like her dna on the items. Make sure you photograph and video the damage.