Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

[WaterBed]

Apart from being desperate to crack the joke

“i really hope so - I only live at 55”

in all seriousness - I personally think it’s fine to be a Dad age 57 when your OH has a newborn. Any thoughts ?

This thread's a little bit like pulling teeth OP.

I can't help thinking you'd get a better discussion if you weren't being so mysterious.

My dad was 48 (turned 49 the week after I was born). I’m now in my early twenties.
In the last 5-10 years most of his friends (same age) have had serious health issues (cancer for example), several have died. My dad is in pretty good physical health and works out regularly; but there are definite worries there, especially with regards to cognition. He’s no longer a safe driver.
We recently had the chat about inheritance and power of attorney etc, I think this would be pretty tough to do with a young teenager. He’s also now past the age when both his brother and his dad died so it’s quite worrying.
I think having a kid at 57 is going to mean your child is very likely to have to deal with you being seriously ill, or even dying, before they’re 20. It may also result in caring responsibilities from a young age. And maybe consider whether you would be physically capable of caring for a disabled child, (Which is more likely due to your age if it’s biologically yours).

May be not!

I had ds in my 20’s and his dad disappeared and we moved back to near family. I worked so ds went to and from school with a CM.

my dad use to collect ds from school sometimes and people thought he was his dad! He was in his 50’s!!!

My son has a friend whose dad is as old as most grandparents. As the mum works, the dad has the boy most of the time. His dad has a dodgy back and knees and just hasn't got the energy or ability to keep up with his son.

It’s mad. Grandparent at 57, sure, but parent of a newborn? Just no.

It’s weird when Hollywood millionaires do it, never mind normal people unable to hire endless staff.

I know parents can die at any age (my mum was only 53) but I think it’s too old purely based on the fact you’re unlikely to know your kids into adulthood. My own dad was very close to my son (whose own dad is a waste of space) and he was only 18 when he died. It was heartbreaking as he was his main father figure and very close.

No way. My friend’s DH is 60 (she’s 42) and they have a toddler. He has grandchildren older than his youngest daughter. He admits he cannot keep up with a toddler, and it’s sad because she is missing out on playtime with her Dad, and he will likely be dead by the time she reaches early adulthood.

My dhs dad was in his late 60s when dh was born and died when dh was a year old. Having said that dh had a happy childhood and his dad left enough that his mum was able to care for him etc. Its not ideal but im certainly glad he was born!

It’s because they didn’t really tell it properly. The old joke goes something like:

I’m having the best sex of my life at 67! It’s a shame because I live at 22.

@WetBandits play doesn’t have to be running around. It can be reading a book, going out in the pushchair and going to see things. It might be watching a video, playing with building bricks on the carpet and similar. Not everyone is past it at 57 or even 60.

My father did this at 60, with a woman of 38 that he barely knew and who proved to be vile. He died 12 years later from a rare form of dementia. It was a profoundly selfish thing for them to have done. I actually wonder if he was already suffering the earliest effects of the dementia when he did it.

You…wouldn’t happen to be the much younger British girlfriend of a certain infamous 57-year-old American who’s just been resentenced from life without parole to life with parole, are you?

One of my daughter’s friends has a Dad who must have been in his fifties when she was born. He’s been “retired” since she reception in the way that a lot of tradesmen are “retired”, ie he still picks up the occasional job if he likes the look of it and can do it on his terms. He does all the school runs, is always planning activities for his daughter (only child). Yes it is likely she will have to deal with the death of a parent much earlier in life than her peers, but right now she’s getting a fantastic relationship with an amazing dad. Given the awful situations many children have with their dads I honestly think there are far bigger issues with some men becoming fathers than their age.

I don't understand the question at all

What on earth is going on

ExDP was 54 and 56 when the DCs were born. He’s 76 now and still working full time. He was absolutely useless as a parent but that has nothing to do with his age and everything do with his narcissistic personality.

And Rod Stewart!

There's a dad of a kid in my 8 year old DS's class who's in his early 60's and he always looks absolutely shattered. Having an kid at that age is full on.

Are you ok??

It’s not the 50’s, it’s not necessary to be married to reproduce.

As you can’t turn back time, is there another choice?

I think the fact that women go through menopause while men do not is nature's way of saying that men are less important to the survival rates of their offspring than women, i.e their contribution to child rearing is less significant. I know it's not in line with popular thinking but evolution is undeniable. So in that respect, it really doesn't matter.
It's socially irresponsible though - I hope he's picked a very resilient partner because the chances of her having to shoulder a disproportionate share of the burden is fairly large. Been there, got the t-shirt, as have many other single mums.

Sorry what? Your post is unintelligible

Absolutely true. But if you were a 61 year old with a 4 year old you’d probably be considerably more tired, and if you were 74 with a 17 year old you’d definitely be.

Utterly selfish.

Depends on the man and the circumstances