Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

I would be too. Obviously we all differ in ages on MN. Im 30s and theres no way that I could even consider NOT leaving my Son any money IF I could afford it. Then just pass it on to my future grandchildren. For what reason?!

Rose tinted glasses and very tone deaf indeed.

Maybe your son grows up to be irresponsible with money and there is a good chance the grandchildren will get nothing (as it often happens) especially after the children get divorced/remarried and their new wife and step-kids get everything

Not weird at all! If I had struggled, or still struggling financially yes I would resent my children suddenly coming in to a lot of money. Most parents inheriting money from parents would give some to the grandchildren anyway. It’s the normal way of things imo. I’m being honest about it and I bet I’m not alone! It would cause resentment to see children suddenly being able to afford anything they wanted , while the parents couldn’t . It’s a wrong balance and would cause ill feeling.

@Pepperpotladles , you don't have to be academic to earn well; some of the most successful people I know (in terms of actual wealth) don't have more than a few GCSE's. And some of the most educated people I know, I struggle to see how they remember to breathe.

It's called generational wealth for a reason; it takes generations to build up. You sound like the first to start building it up, i.e., you own your own home, your kids will benefit, and their kids will be in the position your children find their friends in now.

I'm in the same boat as you, zero from my grandparents, nor anything left to their children (my parents). My parents lived in a council house and have also left nothing. I actively encourage my wife's parents to spend their money and remind people that we'd not expect anything, it'd be nice, but I've seen people die with 300k in the bank, and they lived in poverty.

You earn it; you spend it as you see fit. No one is entitled to an inheritance.

Are your in-laws your current partner's parents or your ex's partner's parents. If it is your current partner's parents (and you have children with both your ex and current husband) then have you considered they are doing this so the money goes directly to their genetic grandchildren.

You don’t need to decide how you feel about it, because your opinion doesn’t matter. The money and choice belongs to your in-laws.

If your parents inherited from THEIR parents…presumably during middle age…then turn around, cut out their own (responsible) kids from getting similarly passed-down and -timed assistance…and pass the (at least partially inherited) funds to the young grandchildren instead…ouch.

That’s a very humiliating way to break a chain

Exactly

Current husband’s parents.

I feel a conversation should have happened. It is their money and their choice, just worried my children might inherit it at a young age where they might not use it wisely.

And your posts seem to suggest you have children with your ex as well? If so, then it seems very likely they are doing this because if it went to your DH it would probably end up being used to benefit all your children (shared and step) and they can make sure it only goes to their genetic grandchildren?

If you have previous kids with someone else, this will be exactly why they’ve done it.

Maybe. My husband has always seen my children as his too and they’ve called his parents Nan and Grandad.

If they wanted to leave money just to their biological grandchildren that’s fine, just wish they’d spoke to us first or trust us to take care of the money until the kids are old enough to use it sensibly.

OP are you aware that people can put money in 'Trust' for youngsters, giving an age when they are able to receive the funds? For example if leaving my money to my grandchildren, I would probably arrange for it to be put in 'Trust' until they hit the age of thirty, as by that time most people have a clearer idea of what they want from life than they do at for example 18 or 21.

Either way my priority would getting DC housed, if it came to me I would be passing it along, if it went to DC then we would be having some very strong chats about buying a home. But we are lucky we don’t need it.

I’d rather money went to my children rather than me - I’ll likely be in my 60s so what am I going to do with it by that point - I’d rather they have helped more in my late 30s/early 40s as a single parent (yes they are more than able to) - my children on the other hand will be in the thick of uni / cars / house deposit costs which I won’t be able to hell with or maybe even having kids if their own and it will help them immensely

Yes but I doubt they’ve done that.

To me it would depend on the age and circumstances of both Gdcs and the Gdcs’ parents at the time. If I knew they were very comfortably off, that’d be one thing. OTOH if I knew an inheritance would be very welcome, e.g. to help pay off a mortgage and so reduce monthly bills - or to enable them to buy a property in the first place, that’d be another matter.

In practice, what happens in quite a few families, including ours, is that older parents pass much or all of their legacies to adult dcs who have a greater need of the cash.

Well, my DM’s house, worth around £200,000 in the early 2010’s was sold to pay for her care, as she unfortunately had dementia and couldn’t be cared for by any of her working, child-raising children.
When she passed away, our remaining inheritance from her and my Dad, who had passed away years before, was less than £20,000 between us all - but she had received great care for the last 8 years of her life and that was what she needed.
My DC inherited a large sum from another relative though - and in their early twenties, squandered it all! So they are no better off than they would have been if they had inherited nothing.

You can’t set this up with money left to them by their grandparents. It’s not your money to lock away - either the grandparents set up this mechanism or the kids get the money. It is a good conversation to have with grandparents though.

Maybe they didn't want to have what might lead to being a very divisive conversation.

I would probably leave it up to my partner to talk with their parents about the situation and what might be appropriate in terms of putting age safeguards in place (if they wished to do so).

You have your side of the family to handle with and the inheritances there, both from your own family and your exs.

I am in your position too but I don’t begrudge those left inheritance.
I am just doing my best to climb further up the career ladder and enhance my earnings as much as possible so I can build something for my kids.
I also have a sizeable insurance policy that I pay into too for them.
it’s not the same and it not “fair” but neither is life and it’s really what you make it

What are you insuring? What policy do you have?

I have life insurance polices so that there is money that can be paid out upon my death for them