Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

My partner's dad has given large sums to his grandchildren. They travel and holiday frequently.

However my partner's sister still has a mortgage and could really do with the help. Gets nothing since her dad wants to skip all to grandchildren.

Meanwhile, her adult children and my partner's adult children have considerable money now. They are holidaying their way through it.... 😂

While I can understand grandparents wanting to help with housing ect, alot of todays young people still dont earn enough to buy homes, if they are unlucky enough not to find work on graduation the money for the house will soon go as they weill not be eligable for benifits with money in the bank. This has happened to 2 of my parents friends grandchildren. Dparents plan now is to leave each grandchild a few k ( there will be no more) and the rest to DB and i on the understanding we use some of it to support house deposits at the right time, hopfully avoiding this.

Will can stipulate what the money is spent on.

@TizerorFizz If you are only in your 30s, I assume you don’t have dc saving for a house.

Correct. I am the DC saving for a house.

What are you going to do with your house when you die? seeing as you hate inherited wealth.....

Coming from a family that are generally more elderly when they pass away (late 90s) the grandchildren have their own homes already (most), if anything its the great grandchildren who would benefit.

Up to the grandparents I guess.

Some do a bit of both.

I know it's nothing to do with me but obviously I have an opinion on it as it affects my children, and, as I said, this thread among other things, raised my awareness that some grandparents really do prioritise their grandchildren. Not exmil though, which is of course her prerogative. As far as I have heard, ex has raised it with her and she's not interested, which is also her business and I did always tell ex he was foolish to rely on an inheritance as a pension, which is essentially what he did, but hey...

Latest is she keeps ringing ds1 and asking him what he money he needs (not in her will, but now) but obviously he doesn't want to name a sum as he's not grabby. Last week I heard him telling her the priority is ds2 as he has not received any money at all from her as of yet while ds1 has received a modest sum (single figure thousands) but so far she has yet to act on that. It's a bit of a mess...

My elderly parents dont know much about our finances. We don't discuss money. I think they would be shocked to know we still have £250k on the mortgage on our late 40s and it won't be cleared till we're nearly 70. They had paid off their mortgage by their mid 40s.

My widowed DM died recently. She lived to a great age and had used up most of her savings so really only the value of her (modest) house left as inheritance. I had been her only carer for many years despite having 2 siblings. All of us have adult DC, in their 30’s/ 40’s. Over the past couple of years, she had talked about how much harder it was for the younger generation and all of us (her children) were settled. When she updated her will, she left approx. half the value of the estate split between her DGC, the other half to be split between her 3 DC. Although I would have given my own children most of my share anyway, I think that she knew that one of my siblings would not pass anything that he received onto his own children as they are not on speaking terms. I must admit that it stung a little as I’d spent years caring, giving up my own career and not yet pension age but guess that was probably the best compromise

I'm leaving a 3 bedroom house between my 2 dgs's. My DD and 2 DS's will also inherit our 6 bedroom house, 7 bedroom holiday home, plus several rental houses and bonds and investments. Foster son will also benefit from housefleftbin trust with him a beneficiary. The 2 dgs's can share the rental money to help them through uni if I'm not alive to help them, then possibly sell it afterwards. My DD will manage it for them until the youngest DGS leaves education. My DC all know this is my plan in my will and DD and Sil were happy for their son's to get something directly. They will inherit a little less than my DS's. Less inheritance tax to pay if something goes directly to dgs's.

I’m not a high earner but we do have a house. we don’t have kids. If i do have anything left financially eg don’t need care and i pass in old age i would like to leave something to my nieces/nephews and god children (rather than siblings as they’d be older too).

@Pepperpotladles It’s not unfair. Why should people who are bright and have good jobs not pass on what they have? Just because no one in your family manages to accumulate anything, I don’t see that being jealous of others and wanting their money is a good way forward. Many people with average school qualifications can do well and can certainly afford to buy a property in a not very expensive area. Years ago people got council houses and relished not having to maintain them. I had relatives like this. Always had money for a holiday and new clothes. Others struggled to pay the mortgage and are now better off for doing so. You reap what you sow.

There's nothing unfair about it it's their money to leave to who they want it says more about you that what your jealous of your kids?

My FIL is dripping large amounts of money to our twins in their stocks and shares ISAs every month. He doesn't give any to DH and I. I have no idea what will happen when he dies (he's remarried to another woman, so perhaps all to her?) I'm glad he is because DH and I can't afford to build up much meaningly savings for the twins.

They will get access to the ISAs at 18, and, at the moment, I am planning on telling them if they wish to go to university then they have to use that money, since they will get the minimum maintenance loan (which is nowhere near enough, unless they live at home), and DH and I definitely won't be able to fund a double whammy living expenses for them.

I'm sort of hoping uni expenses have change by then – though I don't think they will have – or that the twins can access the careers that they want without going to uni, as I think it's a waste. I would rather that use the money to buy property.

@Didimum Why don’t you talk to FIL about affording university but paying £0 is simply wrong. You need a saving scheme right now and be more proactive.

It's completely normal to worry that a young person may not be mature enough to wisely handle a large amount of money. If they piss it away, then when it's gone it's gone.

As I said, not an option right now. Might change in the future, but right now that's the situation. Also no where did I say we'd contribute £0 – I said we cannot afford to fund a double whammy, meaning excess external money will need to come from somewhere if they choose to go.

Not everyone has to go to university – numbers attending are already dwindling, and were 3% down this year, and 1% the previous year. Who knows what university is going to look like in years to come.

Living at home and working while studying are legitimate choices.

Don't attempt to moralise someone else's financial constraints. Have you tried to afford double whack for twins at every stage of their life?

@Didimum You said you could not afford a double whammy! Thst, for most people, is where parents make up the difference of the minimum loan to the value of the maximum loan. So around £5,500 per dc. It read as if £0 was having to be the case. Your contribution IS the external money! How are they going to get £5,500 each pa then?

I would be pissed off too if I were you. They could have at least split it. Any money they left you would
likely end up with your children anyway (when you go). It seems really cruel, I hope your own children give some, I have given my children some from my inheritance but it would be interesting to see if they would have done the same for me.

Nope. You’re making leaps I have not said. External money OTHER than from us depending on where they choose to go.

And you’re dreaming if you think even the maximum loan will cover all living expenses if they choose to go to a major city. Rent alone can be £600 - £1k a month in London and the max loan is £13k a year. One very frugal student would need at least £18k a year.

If they lived at home and worked a small amount alongside studying then the minimum loan is completely adequate.

Why should it be surprising that someone would struggle to afford twins at university in this economic climate? So yes, they’ll have to use their ISA money if they want the expensive options.

You can have it put in a trust fund that's what my friends father did she got the money when she turned 18 her mother was a gambler and a heroin addict he knew my friend would use it right she used it to buy a house for her and her kids her mum would have spent it at the casino

I can understand children being resentful if their parents leave it all to the grandchildren. It creates ill feeling. If I were struggling financially, of course I would resent my children sudden receiving a load of money, especially if I’d given up my career to care for the parents, sacrificing my own savings. Surely the best way is to leave it to the children who can help the grandchildren out if needed, uni, house deposit etc. Then when the children die the grandchildren receive a good inheritance. That’s what is in my will. Or, the grandparents could split it equally amongst children and grandchildren.

It’s understandable to resent it when grandparents do this. It seems spiteful. If it were me I certainly would. It’s wrong for the grandchildren to suddenly have shedloads of money when their parents have struggled financially for years and made sacrifices to bring them up. The imbalance of financial power would cause rifts in families. At least give the children some as well as the grandchildren!

Why would you resent your own children having money?! What a weird attitude.

There's a very good chance my parents will skip over me and leave their money to my daughter. I don't mind at all. I want her to be set up for life regardless of my own situation. I wouldn't resent my child getting money.