Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

Most people won't inherit a ton in the future. care costs/having to go private as NHS lists are long will eat it up.

I’m happy about my parents giving the majority to the grandchildren but my sibling and I are (so far) don’t have any financial worries. I have 2 children, my sibling has 1.

I've noticed that many posters seem unbothered if their parents chose to leave everything to their children. But this can raise some difficult issues—especially in families with multiple siblings. For example, if one or more siblings don’t have children of their own, they can end up effectively excluded from the inheritance altogether.

This happened with my stepson's maternal GM. He inherited her money and he was the only GC at the time of her death. It was held in a trust and well managed by his canny GF, so by the time DSS was 25 the fund enabled him to buy a nice 3-bed house in Brighton with only a 30% mortgage.

Long before he was able to access the money, 3 or 4 cousins were born on the maternal side of the family, but the trust or will was written in such a way that they were entitled to fuck all. It's especially galling for them, as their parents are nowhere near as well off as DSS's mother, and DSS will inherit her entire estate which is likely to exceed a mill. Canny GF is still alive, compos mentis and very well off though, so his will may well favour the GCs who lost out on granny's inheritance.

What if they get married and have children before then?

My friend experienced this with being born after her older brother inherited a large sum and a portion of the family farm aged 2. Interestingly, she isn’t bothered at all. They are a really close family and she doesn’t feel the need to quantify inheritance in that way.

No, you really don't. People don't make their luck when it comes to being born into poverty or wealth, advantage or disadvantage. And while some people can overcome disadvantage and do OK, it's much much harder. Which is why it's called disadvantage.
And no, of course we can't make society fair for all. But there are things we could do to make it fairer, like much higher tax on inheritance or assets over a certain level reverting to the state on death for example.
But people who benefit from the existing system don't want fairness at that price. So it's a case of won't, not can't.

@5128gap Rubbish! There’s loads of advice about going to university. There’s been substantial movement to middle class from working class. There’s been huge changes in home ownership. In your world we would all still be peasants! Of course it’s up to people to change things for themselves. We come from pretty impoverished stock but we had no intention of staying that way. Millions of people have done exactly that. That includes many who have arrived here from abroad too. They aren’t just sitting around saying “it’s not fair”. Look at what these people have achieved when they have arrived with next to nothing. Others need to learn that they really can move up. Of course some aren’t going to and aren’t interested. It’s their choice though.

Can you point me to the part of your post that makes my comment that we don't make our own luck when it comes to being born advantaged or disadvantaged, and that being born disadvantaged makes it much harder to succeed, 'rubbish', please?
Because all you've done is list ways in which it's possible to succeed. You've said nothing to argue its not more difficult. It's the additional difficulty that is unfair.

I don’t entirely agree there’s additional difficulty. Especially for a bright dc. There’s being advised poorly. There’s being told to take the wrong A levels and uni courses by people who should know better. There’s such a thing as finding out for yourself because you are bright! Having self worth and not accepting the status quo. Looking at successful people and wanting to be like them. Anyone with less money can do this. They just need to be inquisitive and want it and have the get up and go to acquire it. Millions of us have done exactly this!

@5128gap I was born one of six to a poor catholic family, in a council house.
My dm began scrubbing floors in the local hospital when the youngest was 3. She worked her way through nursing school and became a midwifery sister.
Poor as we were my parents made us all do the 11 plus practice papers and everyone of us went to grammar school.
Dh and dm encouraged us to go to university.

Dh’s family were poor too and his dm pushed her dc to get to a grammar
school. Dh and I always had a clear plan of how our lives should be and didn’t have dc until we were on track.

Education is available to everyone and It’s the door to changing your life.
Being born disadvantaged due to being poor is only a problem if you or your dp’s have no aspirations.

I’m due to inherit from DM (I’d much rather have her forever) Hopefully we will
have paid our mortgage off before then. I plan to use the money to help my 2 DC get on the property ladder. I’m 54 so not ancient but I’ve got my home, I don’t need any more stuff. I’d only waste the money so I’d rather help my sons.

Why does your situation trump anyone else's?

Good for you. However as I've said repeatedly, my point is that it's more difficult, not impossible. Imagine how much easier your mother's life would have been if she'd had an inheritance. She had what she worked two jobs for. Other people have the same and more handed to them.

Fairness is objective, though.

I have worked extremely hard, spending long hours away from my DC, so that I can earn well and ultimately pass this on to my DC. They spent long hours in before and after school care, and holiday clubs.

You see fairness as taking money from those who have it, to give to those who do not.

I see taking my money I worked for, to give to others who are nothing to me from Adam, as absolutely unfair. I worked for
that, for my children.

I would not work if I thought it was for the benefit of strangers.

@5128gap We aren’t all racing to the bottom though. I’m not wanting to gibe up what I’ve worked for either. I’m keen others who have little are given advice on how to make money for themselves.

No, I see fairness as a level playing field where people are not advantaged over others. Its never going to happen, because as I said before people don't want that. They want to protect and pass on their advantage while telling thenselves its not really an advantage, because they are genuinely more deserving than those without the advantage.
When discussing inheritance I'm not talking about what's fair to the hard working dead person, because bluntly, when you're dead, you're in no position to care.
I'm talking about what's fair to living people, some of whom recieve a lump of money they've done nothing to earn and that will greatly improve their life chances, some of whom don't.
Inheritance isn't going anywhere, so there's no need to justify it. This is purely a discussion arising from a pp asking why it's unfair, and I responded.
Because whichever way you cut it, objectively to the people who are still alive to feel the impact, it is.

No, you really don't. People don't make their luck when it comes to being born into poverty or wealth, advantage or disadvantage

Making luck is done by the generation above for the generation below. That’s really what people should be doing where possible (health issues etc withstanding). For those who can’t, then there should be a degree of state support.

ETA: my grandparents had no money or assets to pass on in their will to my parents’ generation or mine.

I don't think anyone at the bottom had raced to get there. And yes, advising disadvantaged people on how they can become wealthy is a laudable thing if your advice is realistic and involves achievable goals.
However, again, that's somewhat irrelevant to the point of debate, which is that inheritance is unfair. No one would be asked to give up anything theu had worked for if inheritance was stopped. Because by the nature of the thing, they'd be dead.

I agree. And that's the point at which it becomes unfair for those who's parents and grandparents didn't make them any luck. Not their fault, is it?

Of course it is an advantage, I don’t think anyone is saying otherwise. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that advantage. It’s the reason why people work, take time off to care for their children, read to them, feed healthy foods, take them places, do extra curricular activities etc etc. These are all advantages that a child receives, which some perceive as luck of birth but is what parents generally should do where they can.

Not their fault but that’s life. I am not upset or envious that I didn’t receive an inheritance from them. My parents and their siblings don’t feel that way either. Instead they all worked hard and did the best they could for the next generation. Some did better than others.

I don’t understand threads like this.

people are never satisfied with what they’ve inherited.

My husband and I struggled and got a deposit together to buy our first home, we both worked two jobs, didn’t have a car for the first few years and I’m absolutely estatic where we are in life.

Our children have all saved hard with their husbands and wives and bought houses.

if u have a negative outlook, then you won’t achieve, but if you save and have a plan it is possible to achieve what u want in life.

A PP asked why it was unfair. Another poster said 'rubbish' when I explained, so people are indeed failing to see or refusing to acknowledge advantage. Such is human nature, as people want to be seen to have earned everything they have by their own merit and resist the reality of the helping hand.
Of course it's completely understandable that people want to give their children an advantage and to take any offered to them.

I disagree that the advantage is unfair.
Much like I would diagree if someone said my children had an unfair advantage because I supported them with maths at home, which made maths easier for them, led them to a maths based degree, then a career in finance and mega bucks. It is an advantage that may have an impact on generations but I wouldn’t say it is unfair. It is what I should be doing as a parent.

My DP spoke to my brother and I when our children were primary age, and said that they were considering leaving their assets to the DGC in their Wills. We were both doing well financially, and agreed with them.

Of course, what they eventually left would have been nice for DH and I, as well as DB and SIL, but actually it was far nicer for our DC (then in their early 20's) to be able to study without taking student loans and still have a decent deposit for a home.

My DC are financially astute and have never 'pissed money up a wall' which seems to be the big fear. They have been raised to know that these funds are theirs through their DGP's hard work, and they respect that they have a responsibility to use them wisely.

For DH and I, we are released from worry about bolstering the income of DC's, and are enjoying our holidays and early years of pensioner lifestyle!

I appreciate that we are a very lucky family, as the hard work from us all has resulted in financial security.