Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

@5128gap Disadvantaged dc get pp money aimed specifically at them. They probably get school trips paid for. They need lower grades for the best universities. They get a lot of advice on how to escape being deprived and money spent on them to push them on. Whether they respond and take it or not is up to them and the role models they aspire to. None of us has to be the image of our parents. We do have choices to make.

The schemes you're referencing barely scratch the surface and the odd school trip doesn't compensate for the extra curricular activities money can buy. However I wasn't aware that disadvantaged children could access all the best universities on lower grades. Do you have a list of all the participating universities and the grades they are asking for by comparison with the usual requirements? This would be very useful information to pass on to colleagues working with disadvantaged young people. Similarly the 'advice on how to escape being deprived'? Is this available online, as I'm sure it would be life changing.

@5128gap PP money can be used for any educational need. Of course it can help and since when was extra curricular needed for university? It’s absolutely not. Nice to do of course, but not a requirement. Maybe read up on what uni admissions actually want. Oxford and Cambridge spell it out. Be well versed in your subject. They don’t care about your singing or swimming.

If extra curricular activities bring no benefit, then why do parents who can afford them offer them? I think it goes without saying they bring huge benefit in terms of life skill, physical health, mental growth and confidence. An admissions panel may nor be judging an applicant on those things directly, but they are judging the whole person and early experiences and opportunities build the person.

Many people don't realise how lucky they are with the massive advantage they are given in life.

One additional comment - the best inheritance my DC have received is the 'hard work' gene, and a determination to do well, whatever their choices.

Many people don't realise how lucky they are with the massive advantage they are given in life.

They is a strange refusal to acknowledge it. Did I work hard at school? yes. Do I work hard in my job? yes. But the biggest help I had was significant help onto the London property market.

@5128gap At University - they really are not! Many personal statements are only used as tie breakers! What confidence is judged when there’s no interview? Very few universities interview. Extra curricular activities won’t be discussed either. It’s subject based. So extra curricular activities make no difference. Are they good to do? Yes. However PP money can be used for them. Where a dc is excelling academically - why not? Yes, it gives a more rounded education but it’s not vital for uni acceptance.

Oxford and Cambridge both interview, as do the other RG unis for the most popular courses. You did mention 'top universities'.

Makes sense to me. Tbh there's unlikely to be anything to inherit for us. But if there was I'd rather it went straight to the kids in early adulthood when they need it for student debt and house deposits, rather than to us at an age where we don't really need it.

@5128gap Hardly any universities interview! Oxford and Cambridge, and Medicine. Virtually nothing else. There are more than 2 elite universities!

@Swissmeringue I assume you know that reducing student “debt” makes no difference whatsoever to monthly payments! They are based on what you earn, not what you owe. Until you pay it off of course.

Well yes, but paying it off in it's entirety would obviously make them better off moving forwards.

@Swissmeringue Depends on size of inheritance and numbers of grandchildren!

I'm going to do just this, it breaks my heart, but my DS and his wife are just so financially irresponsible that I hate to think of them blowing the money that I've worked hard for all my life.

When they've had a small windfall in the past, instead of paying off their debts, they spent it on drink and drugs, so I know that they'll end up with nothing to leave to the kids, and I've therefore decided to cut them out, and be as sure as I can be, that the grandkids get a good lump sum to help them get on the housing ladder, which so many youngsters simply can't manage to do these days. Unfortunately no one can guarantee that their funds won't get eaten up by care home fees, but I'll be doing my best to see that the grandkids get the money if at all possible,

I feel this is wrong due to young people not being able to cope with the sudden “wealth”, I have seen this twice in my extended family , in one case a smaller sum and the case a huge sum. Both individuals were totally irresponsible and it was a mistake.

A lot will depend on how long the grandparents live for.

DH's grandad caused a bit of a storm when he died as it turned out his will would have benefitted the grandchildren rather than his children. It was all irrelevant as it went to Granny, as Grandad died first.

DH can remember the arguments and disagreements over it, and his Granny very firmly saying she'd decide what happened to her money. I think he was about 15/16 when his Grandad died.

Granny is still going - she's over 100 😂 We have children older than DH was when that debate happened.

It's entirely logical that anything she leaves goes to grandchildren, or maybe even great-grandchildren, as seven of her nine children are retired themselves and are very comfortable (and doing their own estate planning!).

Well, this thread popped up at a very pertinent time for me as my dc have been told by my ex that his mother intends to leave all her wealth to her alcoholic (though apparently now in recovery - ping-pongs a lot) partner of 30 years. He will also be able to live in her house for life (although I do think he lives with her now this is a recent thing and he has not paid into the home at all) after which it will be left to ex and his sister, who are now approaching their 60s and this man is probably nearer 70, so quite a bit younger than ex mil.

She apparently has savings of over £500k, all going to this man. Nothing to my dc and nothing in the immediate aftermath of her death to her dc, both of whom she is close to and who see her a lot.

I completely understand it's her money and her choice, but reading this about people setting up their dgc with house deposits/debt-free uni does sting. She could have done that and still left this man a decent amount - my dc are her only dgc.

I said upthread I wished she would skip ex and leave it to the dc but I didn't think she would. I didn't anticipate this and it just shows you shouldn't expect an inheritance (ex certainly was when we were together). I can see reasons for leaving it to grandchildren over adult children, but taking it all out of the family, especially when no estrangement, is pretty harsh.

@pinotnow IHT will reduce that a fair bit if she’s single. I don’t see why she cannot help grandchildren. Some people don’t understand how others need help. My DM didn’t until very late in her life but did eventually.

This is a weird comment. My parents are in their 70s and now have serious medical problems, but I'm in my 30s and I am not a home owner.

Why should inheritance bypass 30-somethings who do not have a home?

Children in their 60s? Do these children have immortal parents or what?

It's also worth noting that I inherited nothing from my grandparents, so it makes no logical sense for anything to be left from my parents to their grandchildren.

@shuggles well mine and my husband’s parents are still with us. Three of them are still going strong. My dad is still working. I’m 55.

It's good that your parents are going strong, but clearly your situation is highly unusual. If your dad fathered you at 18, then he would be 73, which means he is working more than half a decade after the state pension age.

It's your ex' mother so not really anything to do with you. If your ex gas a problem I'm sure he'll can raise it with his mother.

@shuggles he is 80, self employed and shows no sign of giving up. That bit is unusual but most of my friends still have parents with us.

@shuggles If you are only in your 30s, the comment wasn’t really about your situation. Your parents are presumably around 40 years older than you (30s you and 70s them). Many older people in their late 80s have dc in their 50s or 60s. That’s fairly normal. These dc might have children in their 20s and 30s who need money more than the middle aged people who might well have a house, a good job and a very decent pension on the horizon. It can make very good financial sense to give a decent amount to grandchildren, especially if more money adds to IHT liability for the older dc. If you are only in your 30s, I assume you don’t have dc saving for a house.