Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

If DH and I inherit from our parents (ie assuming it doesn't get eaten up by care home fees or whatever), we'll use some of it to help out our DC with house deposits etc. That makes more sense to me than leaving it straight to them - because we can do it at the right time when they really need it. If it was left directly to them I would worry about it being frittered away tbh.

@MidnightPatrolinheriting in my 50s or 60s may mean we could retire though, like my parents could.

Its going to be increasingly challenging for every generation that is less well off than the previous one.

My parents are much better off than their parents were. However due to house prices etc despite we have both worked full time and in better paid jobs than my Dad (Mum didn’t work) we have less than them.

It is what it is, they don’t care about my financial security their choice but I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt that they were happy to receive and spend their inheritance but they don’t want me to have any.

I hate inheritance wealth. It's so bloody unfair.

How is it unfair?

Of course it's unfair. It's not particularly progressive that your life circumstances are determined by whether you can have an inheritance vs what you earn. It's very hard to get on the ladder now without help. I say this as someone who has parents etc with expensive property.

@RandomMess yeah if your parents house and savings is just your retirement plan, I’m not surprised they’re opting to give the money directly to the next generation.

I am probably worse off than my own parents, but I suspect it will be harder again for my kids so I’d rather they got any additional help as early as possible so they can have a good life and start building a base of wealth asap.

Wow

No one has ever said that life is fair. It isn’t and never will be. You just have to go with the challenges thrown at you as best you can.

It seems a bit of a shame if money is sitting in a trust fund for 20 years for young GC who inherits, whilst their parents are having to pay a huge amount of mortgage interest or rent on the family house.

If the parents inherited directly, they could save all of that money to use for the good of the family and start putting wealth away, so their children (the GC) can be in a much better financial position when they reach the age when they're wanting to buy their own homes.

Aside from the differences in how much goes down each branch of the family - e.g. if you have three children, who respectively have one child, three children and six children - there's also the fact that nobody can be 100% certain that they won't have any additional GC after they die, unless they had no children themselves in the first place.

Some people may be happy with this and figure that they're only including the GC that they had chance to know; but many would want all of their eventual GC to benefit equally because they are their GC.

@MidnightPatrol no their “wealth” has never been my retirement plan 😂 I always assumed it will go on care home fees etc.

I’m just being a realist that despite paying into a pension for many years I’m not going to retiring in 6 months at 53 and possibly not in 10 years at 63.

I would certainly consider leaving some of my money to GCs as well as my DCs. It is tough for kids these days and giving them money for a deposit can be life changing.

@MidnightPatrol by debts I mean things like a mortgage. Tbh I’d be more worried about young adults frittering away a large inheritance than their parents. That’s why most sensible people will leave the bulk to their childen and leave it up to them to financially help and guide their own children.

If there’s no back story about the adult children being unstable etc then leaving your estate to the grandchildren is a shit move imo and will make your passing harder for your children as they will no doubt carry that resentment with them while dealing with their loss. That’s why I think there must be something wrong with the relationship between op and in-laws….loving families don’t behave that way unless everyone is super wealthy and doesn’t need the inheritance.

I totally agree. I inherited from my parents, some of the money was used to fund full maternity leave, it means we're more comfortable financially and I can afford to work part time during the expensive nursery years which imo benefits the children more than cash in the bank. It would also be very difficult to see them piss away an inherited fortune at 18yo after years of us grafting to earn enough for a comfortable lifestyle. Its not a dig at my children's future life choices, I think most 18 yos would piss money away. It takes longer to learn the value of things and surely most parents would help their children regardless of who's name is on the bank account.

Most people benefit their children, the ones that don’t it’s because they believe that the children are non-deserving, wealthy, or they just prefer the grandchildren. No caring parent aware of the challenges their children might have having a comfortable retirement misses out their actual children. They are acutely aware of pensions and cost of living.

It’s a horrible thing, imo, the children are best placed to decide if their children are in need. GC who inherit can have a sense of superiority over their parents if it put them in a strong financial position, so bad all around.

I work in the field and have no inheritance of my own, but my SO potentially has. Regardless of what happens between us I would HATE it if my children inherited directly from their wealthy grandparents. The worst people I have met are entitled trust funded folk.

@Pepperpotladles I feel for you and it seems unfair when people inherit and it sets them up for life. However, you do not need to be academically gifted to do well in life. I certainly was not and have had a great high paying career so far. I have had zero financial help from family or inheritance.

Thinking how it’s so unfair of others having lots is not going to change their situation. If you have a mortgage you obviously have a home that your DC will inherit one day?

I recently lost my mum, and, to be honest, if she'd left her estate to her (young adult) grandchildren instead of myself and my sister, I'd have been hurt. My inheritance will definitely make my retirement easier and earlier than it would have been otherwise. It will also put me in a position to help my kids with house deposits, and ensure that I can afford decent care if I need it as I get older.

But it's not just about the amount of money, it's about what is says. Unless my kids end up being seriously wealthy, and ask me to pass direct to their kids, I will always just leave my estate to my children. Then it will be up to them to help my grandchildren as best they see fit.

I feel like this.

They’ll be over 18 and if it’s left to them by grandparents I don’t think we can intervene and put it into a trust fund or dictate what they spend it on. They could piss it all up the wall. 🙄

It really irks me that people who don’t stand to inherit want to take it away from those who do.

Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t have to be equally shite for everyone.

I don’t think it’s particularly fair that people can retain social housing for life, in cases where they don’t need it and could afford to pay market value. But it is what it is.

This was suggested in our family and we very gently said that it worried us that the kids could come into money in late teens early 20s that could thwart their ambitions. Also could be tricky if they were left money and potentially still living at home with us. Grandparents thought again and have put money in a trust for their direct children that can go on to grandchildren should money remain in the trust or anything happen to children and then pass onto grandchildren. It’s definitely worth a discussion x

That’s great. In my case there’s been no discussion whatsoever, we don’t know for sure that’s what’s happening.

My parents have chosen to split their estate in a different way to the one they had told my sibling and I would be happening for many years. Obviously its their money to do with as they please, but it does hurt and I see them in a completely different light now. I am glad I know now, rather than finding out at a time when grief would have made it a lot harder to deal with.

Ask them if the money they inherited from their parents can skip a generation to you. They might not be so keen on generation skipping when it skips them!

Nope, not pissed off about not getting it for me. Yes I’d rather we had it and handed it on to the children when they are older / buying homes. I do feel sorry for my DH though as he works hard (I also work) and he won’t be able to retire as early as his parents did.

I would love it. As people are living longer it does make sense. I have no money to spare month to month but I have a house and a pension so I am very lucky. I took out loans to go to uni but I didn’t have to pay fees. So I would be more than happy if my mum left anything for me to my children. She has brought it up and said she has left her house (unless it ends up going on care) to her children me included but she is happy for us to pass our shares on to our children instead if we want. So if the situation arises I will do that. She considered leaving it to her grandchildren but too complex for various reasons specific to our family.

You don’t have to be academic to earn well. If you’re as concerned about their future as much as you say what are you doing to secure a decent future for them? Are you looking at what they can do post-16, are you getting them to research routes that are less academic? Are you looking at ways to gain qualifications and work experience through various routes? My brother wasn’t academic (think E, F and G grades at 16) but did a number of access courses, an HND and then started at the bottom in IT services. Is now on £55K with a Tesla paid for by his company.
You need to be the one to make them positive about their futures, yes inheritance makes it easier, but you can’t just be bleak about their futures when there are so many options out there. My grandparents passed on nothing. My parents may have some inheritance to pass on but obviously we have no idea if that money will be needed for their care.
Look into what opportunities there are for your DC are encourage them to go for it. Don’t be bitter about something that many people don’t get.

Nice problem to have - I’m looking at working for years to pay for my parents’ care, taking away from what I could have given my children for what we’ve worked for.