What are your unpopular opinions that most mumsnetters don’t agree with?

[Rosebush1245]

Curious to know what opinions you see constantly on mumsnet that you think “Am I the only person that disagrees with that!?”

My youngest child was unplanned and we told the other DC that the youngest was an unexpected blessing. Not a burden. Youngest child has brought so much joy into our lives.

Teachers should take action (even strike) for their own interests. When teachers take action it's often framed as 'concern for the interests of the students'. They are very coy about being self-interested and putting themselves first.

If they did this and got improved working conditions - if they were tough about stating what they were and were not prepared to do in terms of time etc - they would be happier, healthier and more energised. This would have a huge beneficial effect on their students. So many teachers are absolutely knackered and demoralised.

I think in European countries teachers are respected more as professionals - they are there to teach, not to be social workers, dinner supervisors, nappy changers, probation officers, counsellors and prison officers. Since I first taught way back in the 20th century I've seen a creeping trend for the government to dump all society's problems on teachers (God - I think they even have to teach children to clean their teeth now...) and to their discredit, teachers have largely allowed them to do it.

Teachers - stand up for YOUR rights and YOUR privileges - it will help everyone in the end.

Are no-kill shelters cruel? I thought they just didn't accept any dogs that they didn't expect to rehome and couldn't keep indefinitely.

My children go to schools without uniforms, not even dress codes, and according to my teenager there's no bullying about clothes, and from what I've seen over the years they nearly all dress for comfort and while my DD will say things like "fashion over comfort!" she's wearing joggers, t shirts and hoodies to school most of the time.

Does that mean we should only have one culture - British?

I think there are huge areas of the country where it does work, and people do like harmoniously alongside/integrating with each other.

Landlords are scum of the earth, depriving someone of owning their own home and in almost all cases they charge more for rent than a mortgage would cost.

I don't care that it is a "service" - you are doing it to make money.

Accidental landlords like those that inherit a property but don't want to sell it for sentimental reasons are excluded from my wrath.

You keep calling it free, but we pay for it... 🤔

That on many occasions children should definitely 'be seen and not heard.'

I also support smacking but only for serious behavioural reasons. Not if they get bad grades at school or low marks on a test. Even though I'm academically pushing.

But if they do something seriously wrong, like truancy, stealing etc.

Mainly the ridiculous attitude towards "deep cleaning" and what is considered "alcoholism". Totally bonkers.

Women who cannot seem to cope without their Dhs.

The wrongly and misunderstood word "narcissist" - you have no idea whatsoever. You mean selfish.

Separate finances and/or finances where one person has control are not healthy in a marriage or a relationship with children.

Hobbies are good but no one is going to die if they need to be put on hold or done less frequently in the years when you're in the thick of raising small children.

Tally sheets of you get a day/hour/week off from parenting and I get exact equal time are a weird way to conduct a marriage or relationship.

People should want to spend time with their children, not as in spend every moment with them, but actively enjoy it when they do.

I forgot landlords. We had nine. Two were decent. One has a restraining order against him for stalking me.

We suffered racism, dodgy boilers/electrics, unannounced visits and outrageous charges. One asked for her floorboards to be replaced!

TOTAL rent paid £412k.

I think with multiculturalism all cultures are given equal influence in society (please correct if I've got this wrong...). Not having m/cism just means that there will be an accepted 'dominant' culture (the indigenous one, obviously) and people will be free to follow their own cultures, religions, customs etc too.

Personally I think this makes sense. If I emigrated to the Indian sub-continent, for eg, I wouldn't expect the school to do a nativity play or decorate Easter eggs. I'd accept that I'd moved to a new culture and as long as I was allowed to follow my own culture in my own way, I don't see a problem.

But then, in my experience, the people who make a fuss about having nativity plays, Christmas trees and hot-cross buns are never members of ethnic minorities - they're always white British over-thinkers in local authorities.

I have many, many unpopular opinions and disagree with most of MN tbh 😫
Here are the ones that immediately spring to mind. More may follow:

1. The act of giving birth does not make you a world expert in everything to do with raising your baby. Being a parent to a baby or toddler does not mean you know more than people who have parented babies, toddlers, schoolchildren, teenagers and adults
2. Most of the MIL hate on here is dramatic nonsense, usually related to (1) above
3. There is nothing special - in the grand scheme of things - about having a baby. It does not bestow on you the right to behave like a princess and micromanage everyone else
4. If you are a couple, the baby is equally your partners - you do not need to 'give permission' or 'allow' your partner to do anything or go anywhere with his baby, any more than that he has to permit you
5. Your child is not special, any more than anyone else's child is. This is in regard to schools particularly.
6. The fight for equal opportunities for women has been won. All that remains is an entire industry which has an interest in making people believe the fight has not been won.
7. Most posts about 'traumatic' upbringing is nonsense too. Unless there is actual abuse, most boil down to the norms at the time. Childhood 'trauma' is used as an excuse to justify things that are not going well in your life. It's easier to blame someone else
8. What is considered to be the correct way to parent children today is not the definitive way. The line has not been drawn. In a few years time, today's parents who are so, so convinced they are perfect because of research will find themselves being 'gently explained' to that they did it all wrong
9. Some people on benefits are vulnerable in some way but many are just avoiding work
10. Voting Labour does not mean you are a fundamentally better person.
11. You go to work to perform a function and you are paid to do so. Your employer dictates the terms
12. Maternity leave is far too long now and it's unreasonable to be off a year , back six months then off another year and to expect nothing to have changed when you go back
13. NHS staff are not saints or angels. They are well paid to do a job, they are not doing it out of the goodness of their heart. A starting salary of £30k is not poorly paid and is in line with starting salaries for most jobs

I think that's it for the time being.

It's free at the point of use - I did say that the first time, but didn't want to keep typing it out in full!

I would say the majority of MN believe these to be true.

I think it's perfectly understandable for women not to leave bad relationships because of worries over the nasty partner being able to have the children alone for days at a time. Not saying staying for the kids is the right thing to do - just that I can see why it's difficult and not as black and white as people claim.

Leaving doesn't stop him being around the kids. He may go for 50/50 but even if he didn't, every other weekend without you there to counteract his influence is a frightening prospect.

My dad wasn't physically abusive, but he could be quite nasty especially when drunk. One time when my mum left the house for a couple of nights when I was 10. He didn't bother making me any meals. I was old enough I could make some stuff myself, so I didn't actually go hungry but I just lived off cereal and toast. He also spoke to me about how awful my mum was and strongly implied she had abandoned me forever and was not returning. I am positive he did this on purpose to hurt her.

As I look back on my childhood, I do wish my mum would have left, but now as an adult it's mostly for her benefit. The weekends I'd have had to spend with him really would have been very difficult. Having my mum shielded me from a lot of it.

If I imagine the hypothetical of her leaving when I was very young (say 5/6) and what those weekends with him would have looked like - bedtimes when I was scared of the dark, or how well I'd have eaten or how I'd have been spoken to? It's nothing social services would have been interested in, especially not back then, but it'd have been utterly miserable.

As it was, the day to day wasn't so bad. I spent most of my time with her and knew to go to bed before he got drunk. When he did say anything nasty, she defended me. I felt loved and accepted by one parent at least. It's hard for me to be angry at her for that.

That's lovely, but an unplanned child is different to an unwanted one.

Oh, if you are over 50 or 60 you are not "elderly" 😂

Of course society shouldn't treat women as incubators. And no one should force them to be pregnant against their will. But once they are pregnant, there are two humans to be cared for. An embryo is a stage in the development of a person - and it has value. Don't you think that if wombs had windows, people would be more careful of the child inside them? Twelve weeks after conception, your unborn baby is coordinated enough to suck his or her thumb. Would it be so easy to abort an unborn baby if one could see that thumbsucking?

I don't like Bluey. Happy to be directed to episodes to change my mind though.

Oh and I love big weddings with family and friends gathering to witness the vows. I think that makes it a more meaningful event, not less.

Just because someone is unwanted doesn't mean they deserve death.

Dogs in public are infinitely less irritating than children in public.

Men shouldn’t work in obstetrics and gynaecology