To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

[Exaltedmalteaser]

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

How can she propose anything when you’ve blocked her?

She had the option when she rescinded the invite, and when I responded saying it was rude. I think the ship has definitely sailed now.

But this situation is about your child not you, and he doesn’t even know what’s happened yet. You’ve further escalated it

I honestly think you have massively overreacting here and played the wrong hand here Op and it could affect your child.

Telling the parent she was rude then blocking her, you didn’t giver her a chance to explain. Don’t you think she’s now going to tell ALL her friends about you, then they will tell all their friends, probably laughing at how you’ve overreacted. You honestly think they would want to be friendly to someone who behaves like this? This can really ostracise you. Also if her child is popular do you think they would want to invite your child to anymore parties. Her and her friends will stick together. Same thing could happen to your kid and he’ll end up with no friends.

That’s awful - whatever the mistake she should have sucked it up and kept your child on the list. That’s not only indescribably rude but also cruel and hurtful to a 7 y o. I’d barely be interacting with her from now on after that (and I would tell everyone I knew of the other parents as well).

Agree that you should book something nice and then tell your child that you’d not realised but you’d already booked the show/train/day out/theme park etc. so he’ll have to miss the party.

you are making it a big deal by telling her she's rude
and starting a whole thread about it.

and threatening to tell everyone how rude she is

If that's not making a big deal, what do you actually do when it is one?

Well yeah because you have blocked her. She might have just not thought of a play date yet, or wanted to ask her kid if they wanted to invite yours after all.

I think it's more the OP than the child the host wanted to avoid...

If she is going to uninvite him to the party and not suggest an alternative I doubt she will invite to a playdate.

Lol. Assume what you like but it was a drop off party.

Well she couldn’t if she wanted to. You’ve decided for her.

May have been a cap of the actual number of kids that can go and by inviting others the venue becomes impossible.

The venue is their home, so no cap. Most hadn't RSVPed yet either.

That’s your 7 year old, but all 7 year olds are like that. Surely the op can say to him we have other plans and take him somewhere else? Think if the child in this instead of blaming a mistake

Such as inviting a child ypu clearly don't want at a party for whatever reason 🙄

She made the decision to uninvite and then not propose an alternative, she had time to do that. It's quite clear that I shouldn't expect anything from her now.

No it wasn’t, until you blocked her. I can see why the 2 of you didn’t manage to have a successful conversation.

@Exaltedmalteaser I would be mightily pissed off too, in your situation. How rude! Even having mistakenly sent the message, she could have just kept quiet and let your boy go. Taking back the invite is really unkind.

I see you've text her and told her she's rude - has there been any further exchanges? Or an instant block ince you told her this?

Yes, it’s very rude. For two years running, I’ve invited the wrong child to one of my dc’s parties. Not the same wrong child, a new one each year. He has both a Jacob and a Tyler in his year. Apparently, there is also a Jacob in the year above and a Tyler in the year below. Their bins with all their bags are just in one big room and he put them in the wrong child’s bin.

No big deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I worked it out when they RSVPed and we made space for them and they were very welcome to attend. It was my mistake, not the child’s so I’d never be a jerk about it.

Anyway, what’s done is done. Just plan a lovely day with your dc instead and don’t make a big deal of any of it.

just to clarify-you and others were added to a WhatsApp group for the party, you replied in the group your son could go and then she removed you from the group and messaged privately that it was a mistake to have invited him? If so, then I think the other parents may even ask about that/see she was incredibly rude too I'd say! So bad!

Yes this is exactly it. Before removing me, she also deleted my response (just saying 'X would love to come')

😂😂😂😂 look at the comments aimed at the parent. You will see the people that have made them comments have no morals. Imagine getting that worked up over a post you’re sending hate towards a parent they don’t know over a mistake. Embarrassing. Bad parenting.

Is she wrong? Yes it’s lacking in class and social etiquette. Its entirely possible that once she gets past the kids party stress she gives her head a shake and feels thoroughly embarrassed. Anyway that being said your son will be fine. If you’re worried about his feelings being hurt by the kids talking about the party then you could always arrange something fun to do that day.

No, I gave her a day to reply to the message saying she was rude, and there was still no contrition in the second message, which is why I blocked.

Sounds like a complete moron. Be glad you now are free from the obligation of having to spend time around her.