Men DO NOT have right of way!

[CalmDownCats]

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

Oh my gosh, I have noticed this too, in fact, I mentioned to DH recently, after a shopping trip that it always seems to be me that moves out of the way when a man approaches. I am going to stop in future.

I have also noticed how no-one seems to hold the door open for me, they seem to walk through it and let it swing back. If I hold a door open for the next person, they seem to walk through it, leaving me trying to walk but holding the door with my fingertips until someone takes it.

It feels like I never had the memo entitled The Rules Of Manners Have Changed.

Yup.
Especially when I'm out running with my buggy they look furious at me for taking up space.
I get the dirtiest looks for saying "excuse me can I just squeeze past, thank you" when they are walking dead centre on the path or 2 abreast.

I genuinely will give way to everyone unless there is no other way. At the end of the day I've got wheels and I don't want to be a pain but if there is room, share the space!

Seems to be up to a point tho. Much older men seem to be alot more polite and actually say encouraging things to me.

Absolutely this!

One day I'll have a head on collision no doubt, but I just can't bring myself to let them past. My Walter White moment would also be shunting one of them 😶

I'm stealing this. There are a few contexts where it would be most useful.

An able-bodied person without a pushchair should always make way for a person with a pushchair or holding the hand of a small child who can’t easily and safely go into the road.

You sound rude and part of the problem.

Also totally agree re swimming @MayaPinion I'm the other end of the spectrum to your daughter, unfortunately. Just restarted swimming after 5 years, so am painfully slow. I do go in the slowest lane. Even then, one huffed me the other day, because he was stuck behind me! Sorry my existence and attempt to improve my health is inconveniencing you! Maybe go in the medium lane??

I’m fat and 40 so men treat me like shit constantly anyway. Although a man did accidentally hit me with his elbow in the petrol station the other day and he said ‘sorry luv’ I nearly passed out with shock. Men in public are never ever nice to me!

I think the main point is to not look at faces, so maybe it would work to look ’through’ people and they will subconsciously note that you are not thinking about accommodating them. Maybe you could experiment and report back 😁

Splashy front crawl men are the worst. And I’ve noticed they seem to try and race me, even though I’m not a particularly fast swimmer.

You are quite right to stay out of the way of swans. Those bastards will win patriarchy chicken every time - male, female, alone, in a flock. They give no fucks.

My elderly mum and I and my pushchair and baby being carried going down steps to the tube. Young man in suit, obviously professional and above us mere obstructions pushes past.hes obviously strong and fit, it would be nothing for him to move to one side or, goodness! Offer to take the push chair, but no, and elderly lady stopped to help.
he had a big roll of 50s visible in his jacket pocket. I hope someone pinched them !

I had a guy walking diagonally across a courtyard actually try to race me to get to the point where our paths intersected first. He had to duck out at the last minute. He stopped and glared. I felt I’d made my point.

I’ve just remembered the guy I witnessed years ago running around a park, plenty of space on the wide paths, but when he came to a group of women doing some sort of buggy fit, he shouted ‘fucking MOVE’ at the top of his voice. He didn’t shout at any of the male cyclists I saw him dodge round.

😞 awful behaviour.

We had an incident in Costco recently where a man barged into me with his trolley. I was facing away so didn't see him. No "excuse me" or anything. Shortly after he did the same to mum. She had a right go at him. No way would he have done this with a man. Little shit 😡

I love a game of this. I find it a fascinating insight into behaviour.

challenge is as children , female children we are socialised to do this to give way to make ourselves small. It must be difficult if you are a bit of a thick man when all of a sudden that thing that used to happen doesn’t happen.

I am lucky and live in a nice area , I find men get out of my way as they are polite and generally don’t have an Andrew Tate sized chip on their shoulder about women , town where I grew up certain men just don’t know what to do, they can’t walk round you they just stop like their brains have malfunctioned.

I just stand my ground and give them the death stare…it usually works quite well 😁

When I lived in London, I regularly played patriarchy chicken. Where I live now, it's a game played almost exclusively by women. You'll be walking along a wide pavement, close to one side with no one around you and no obstructions, and a woman coming the other way on the other side of the pavement will make an obvious swerve and almost scrape herself along the wall to try and make you move. I just stop and stand still so that if they want to play silly buggers they'll have to be obvious about it! Sometimes I adopt a faintly puzzled expression. It's a pretty affluent area, with a lot of socially competitive people, and I wonder if it's a conscious or unconscious attempt to assert superiority. It's most often women in their 30s or 40s in active wear. There's probably a psychology study in it.

I was taught, and taught my dc, to walk single file on the left. So many people do not do this. I refuse to put children or myself in the road just so entitled people can walk along holding hands or just two or more abreast. Children excluded from that esp little ones.
I stand my ground and keep walking.

The annoying thing is I know I do it, I know it’s because it’s what I’ve been taught/trained to do as a female child, but I just can’t overcome the socialisation.

I was always made to move out the way, for men, older people, younger people, anyone really. Manners, politeness etc. I now know that it’s not polite, it’s basically being told to shut up and put up. Same as “be kind”, women, know your place and put your own needs aside.

i wonder if younger women don’t do it as much because like me, their mums have consciously not told them to move out the way, to “be polite” and stand to the side with a smile.

It's occurred to me that the exception to my post is runners. I live down narrow lanes and if I'm running or walking on the correct side as a pedestrian, ie facing traffic, and a male runner comes the other way, they will more often than not attempt to force me into the road, even if they have to cross over to do it. Female runners rarely do this, and are generally on the correct side anyway.

I am a guy, for those who asked. But not a tall one; there are plenty of taller women.

It is an interesting one though. I tend to look ahead and try to see where others are walking and take a line which avoids collisions. I don’t have many! The only times are where I perceive someone (of either sex) walking determinedly as if they own the pavement and there is no way past them. In that case I put my shoulder down and walk on.

But I honestly don’t get this thread, and the many like it that pop up every few months.

Very few are prepared to be upfront and say that they want men to be chivalrous (which is my default position as I was brought up that way) but equally few are prepared to explain why they think a man holding his ground is worse than a woman holding her ground.

I don’t see a middle way between chivalry and chicken in the event of no easy way to pass. I think keep left or keep right would be sensible.

Cyclists and scooters on pavements, including teens and even older children, are a different matter.

Tell me about it - MAMILs (and younger men in lycra too)... I live on a canal boat with my 3yo and a dog and frequently have to shout at men on bikes to slow down on the towpath before they crash into my daughter or dog. One almost crashed into an oncoming cyclist a couple of days ago because he was going so fast (was satisfying since I'd just shouted at him to slow down!). Caveat that men on bikes not in lycra seem to be much better behaved!

I've found lots of men do this, but actually more and more people seem completely oblivious to those around them. Women walking next to each other with both their prams and refusing to move when someone is walking towards them is common where I am, as are the oblivious twats who stand to chat right in front of the drop kerb near the school, so I can't easily get onto the footpath with DS's wheelchair...then there are the kids on bikes and scooters who were never taught that they should get off and walk when they are approaching people on a footpath, not ring their bell incessantly as they speed towards them, expecting others to get out of their way.

Yup, I've found that too. If I'm walking and a group are approaching, usually ramblers who are terrible for having attitude, I'll just stop and pretend to be taking a photo and they then manage to go into narrower formation which they seem incapable of doing if I continue to walk towards them!

Not all women with pushchairs are good people. I’ve had women in pairs taking up the entire path. Not even walking close together but close enough that no one can pass.

I’ve come across whole swarms of them on a group walk who seem to think because they are doing a group activity the common decency rules of single file when on a narrow path dont apply

they aren’t a single entity. If the path is narrow they should fall into single file. Their social chit chat doesn’t come above pavement courtesy and shared usage.