Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men DO NOT have right of way!

388 replies

CalmDownCats · 20/05/2025 23:24

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

OP posts:
Mumofsoontobe3 · 25/05/2025 11:31

I had a middle aged man shout at me because I was waddling along with my 6yo, 1yo and 29 weeks pregnant in the blazing heat last week. Screaming get out of the way because he was on a run - thankfully a woman and her two (teenage) son’s screamed back at him and told him to piss off and instead choose not to charge towards 2 children and a heavily pregnant woman on a public path. I was stunned he shouted - there was space for him to walk round us and still be on the path!
Well done for standing your ground and not moving. I’m grateful for the passers by who stuck up for me as I was quite shocked and couldn’t quite get my words out.

Laidbackluke · 25/05/2025 11:37

EBearhug · 25/05/2025 11:26

We used to call it chivalry, it's dead and feminists killed it.

Bollocks have they.

If everyone walks on the left and moves to the left of there's a potential clash, it usually works. You shoukd move aside for wheelchairs, walking sticks, the blind, pushchairs, prams, i.e. anyone who cannot move aside as easily as you. (Not sure what happens on a narrow footpath if it's pram vs wheelchair, to be fair, but probably wheelchair should get priority.)

If you get to a door first, hold it open for others. If you get to a door, and someone is carrying a lot of stuff, hold it open. If they're in a wheelchair etc, hold it open.

Doesn't matter if they're male or female. It's really not difficult. But not everyone does this, hence patriarchy chicken.

I have a male friend who insists the man should walk on the traffic side of the pavement. He knows me well enough to warn me he does it. I just let him get on with it and keep on walking and tell him to go single file if there are other people about. I go in a mostly straight line, he keeps going all over the place every time we cross a road or come up to people.

Walking on the left is news to me (and Google it seems), I agree with everything you've said.

However after getting angry response from multiple women for doing these things I've learned my lesson and generally wouldn't anymore.

Gettingbysomehow · 25/05/2025 11:38

I went out on my crutches yesterday. I had orthopaedic surgery and I'm still unsteady. The pavement was very narrow and this stupid man tried to force me into the road just blundering straight towards me. I let rip at him and he looked so surprised as if his dog had suddenly started talking.
I won't put up with this behaviour.

BadAmbassador · 25/05/2025 11:56

heffalumpwoozle · 21/05/2025 07:00

At London Victoria everyone jostles each other, including women, teens, etc. Everyone there is busy and in a rush.

Show quote history

The trick as others have mentioned is to look into the far distance and give the impression that you know where you’re going and are moving with purpose. Same at Waterloo!

BadAmbassador · 25/05/2025 12:02

With most normal, decent people there’s a bit of adaptation on both sides - with some individuals you get a different vibe altogether. Either they ignore your existence or actually aim for you so you have to move. A lot of us have got to a point in life where we’re not prepared to play that game any more.
I’ve been very deliberately and painfully elbowed (brought down with force on my shoulder) on a very wide otherwise empty pavement. By a huge bloke who must have walked towards me to manage that and must have felt very proud of injuring a very short woman for no reason.

heffalumpwoozle · 25/05/2025 12:43

BadAmbassador · 25/05/2025 11:56

The trick as others have mentioned is to look into the far distance and give the impression that you know where you’re going and are moving with purpose. Same at Waterloo!

Show quote history

Or just be a normal human with some self awareness and awareness of others, and negotiate the station with courtesy.

tipsyraven · 25/05/2025 17:12

Catapultaway · 25/05/2025 09:57

So it's not just men and young women then... it's men, young women and people like you

Show quote history

Eh? I’m stopping when someone is trying to barge past and push me out of they way. I walk with a stick and it isn’t as easy to manoever.

NeonUnicorn · 25/05/2025 21:02

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 25/05/2025 10:30

To those who don’t see it, I think it’s much, much clearer if you live in a large city.

I live in a city with a population of 520,000 - annual tourist visitors over 4 million. This is not a phenomenon I've come across.

The reason I don't come across it is because
Most people dodge slightly to the left and the person coming at them does the same, simple,

I suspect we live in the same city and I completely agree with you. I spent a few hours in the city centre today and the closest I saw to "patriarchy chicken" was wheelchair vs seagull. The seagull stood its ground to the point I was concerned it would be run over but gave way at the last minute.

TheRhodesian · 27/05/2025 10:46

That's the men telling you they think you're cute and getting in your face to notice them. Next time, grab the guy and ask him for his phone number then walk off when he's halfway done
"I changed my mind, maybe next time."

Laidbackluke · 27/05/2025 14:52

This just seems like another case of if you view the world through a lens of ism's you're going to find them to be the excuse of many things.

andtheworldrollson · 27/05/2025 14:59

Yes OP you do get it , men who are determined not to play give and take - there may be room for 2 but he wants you in the road. The expectation. They know you are there and you see the slight uplift of chin and chest. ( it’s different to the away with the cuckoos / playing on the phone / chatting to mates lack of attention )

I do find they do it to other men too though - it’s an “alpha male “ ( dickhead ) signal as opposed to just expecting women to move

BlondeSailor · 05/06/2025 07:41

CoughCoughLaugh · 25/05/2025 09:41

But may I ask, and I'm talking about single men, not groups, which is a different scenario, why should they move for YOU? Why shouldn't YOU move for them? You are playing the exact game as they are and have the exact same sense of entitlement? Or are you saying that men should move for women? In which case you are setting feminism back by quite some distance.

Show quote history

And and the other response to this, it's just as another commenter said, it's in busy areas where you both slightly move to one side for one another, most people do it, I'm not talking about an empty street where there plenty of room 🤣 I'm talking about a heaving street where everyone just needs to be a bit mindful, I begin to move but if there's no sign of the fella moving why should I 🤷🏼‍♀️
Bringing feminism in is a bit much though 🤣 bloody hell, can we fix the real problems before saying stuff like this?!

Bongani · 19/06/2025 11:49

I have an electric wheelchair so I bought a lorry hooter and when they're right in front of me I give them a blast. They scattere out of my way

New posts on this thread. Refresh page