Men DO NOT have right of way!

[CalmDownCats]

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

Anyone? Surely you mean men? It’s hardly bowing to the patriarchy to give way to a woman. Some posters on here just don’t like older women. ‘They’ - these older women - are seemingly all the same. It’s almost a meme on here.

I've been playing patriarchy chicken since I was knee-high to a grasshopper! I find men are surprisingly scared of small, angry-looking women who walk straight at them.

I like a game of this on the school run. It’s also fun on trains when most of the men in aisle seats man spread. I just barrel down the aisle and take out their knees. Your bollocks aren’t that big love that you need to take up half the aisle with your leg. I get some shocked looks but I always have my sunglasses on and often headphones too and just keep going. They can see that the train has just pulled into a station and people are moving about the carriage but they don’t think to shift themselves.
Recently on a train a guy had a reserved seat at the table I was sat at with my 2 dc. The train was half empty but he sat there and proceeded to spread out his laptop, travel mug and peanut butter sandwiches. He was opposite me and his travel mug was placed on my side. The ticket guy came round and I reached out for something and knocked his travel mug in the process-whoopsadaisy-and he then moved it. Arsehole.
men on bikes 🚲 on the pavement and I refuse to move.

Yes most pavements will fit 2 people passing on it. I too keep left but won’t give way to people who won’t walk single file.

This is so funny, I thought I was the only one this happened too. I even commented to my husband about it a couple of weeks ago. Prompted me to buy the book Hags which I am still to read.

That’s crazy - what happened next? That’s assault surely?

And when a male female couple finally realise I am not giving way it is always always the female who steps to one side...

There’s a really scary social media trend called butsukari otoko which is essentially men deliberately shoulder barging women with the intent to surprise or hurt, which is starting to appear in London. Apparently originated in Japan.

It's annoyed me for a while- even happens with the girls at school (no quarter given by me), but what makes me absolutely RAGE is when I'm helping my disabled husband to walk and selfish idiots expect us to get out of the way.

I'm not a man, or a male apologist, but surely if 2 individual people (obvious disabilities excepted) are walking in opposite directions, irrespective of sex, then neither of you have the right of way or should assume the other is playing some sort of game? Or do we just expect men to make way for women? Surely then we are setting feminism back? Maybe the man was thinking, "Bloody women, always expecting me to swerve round them, well, they want to be equal, so they can move out of my way today, I'm grumpy!" If women can be tired / fed-up / menopausal / in a rush, then we have to accept that men can have valid excuses too. And also, all the "hidden disability" arguments are a bit poor too, men have them too.

What I DO find annoying is our local park is near a college and a busy urban area and what I do find is groups of three or four people ambling along taking up the full path. On some of the paths there are flower beds either side of the path. Erm, Where do you want me to go? For those groups, I stay left and keep walking. I've only once not had someone budge over a bit. And I have to admit, that was a man in his late teens / early 20's who did know what he was doing as he was looking me straight in the eye. I just kept looking at him, right until my right shoulder made me some space.

No, it doesn’t.

The poster said she was trying to get into the train station,and a guy tried to walk through her.

So presumably the encounter happened once he’d already got off his train or whatever and was now coming out the station.

I said a very sarcastic "thank you so much" to a man who barged in front of me onto tube carriage.

Turned out we were the only 2 in there. He grinned and said "its dog eat dog, luv!"

We actually struck up a convo and he was an ok bloke. Just generally hadn't realised what he was being like.

I play it walking my dog. He is a big lad and moves for no fucker. Very satisfying.

I usually find that visitors of any nationality tend to move. Whether other countries are more polite or they're not sure if the consequences I don't know.

I didn’t realise I followed the ‘keep left’ rule till I lived in the US for a couple of years and found myself more often heading towards someone. So since then I’ve kept right there and in Europe. Mostly it works - its groups of blokes and sometimes younger women spread across paths who are the worst path hogs IMO. But sometimes it’s necessary to walk that bit more assertively and/or stop dead to avoid being barged into the wall or road.

When my son was a baby I lived in a very famous yachting village.
I'd be pushing him in his pram along the pavement and whole groups of yachties (mainly men) would come walking towards me and seemingly expect me to be the one to step into the road with the pram. I never did but they always looked shocked and annoyed. I was a sailor too even if I didn't look like one when out and about on maternity leave and I just cringed at their entitlement and arrogance

Yes, happens a lot. As with many other things once you get to mid-40s. It’s like you’re wearing an invisibility cloak because you’re no longer of interest for breeding.

For me, it literally went from unwanted attention to as if I was invisible in the space of a few years, yet I didn’t change much in face, body or clothes. Must be a primeval thing.

I always walk right at them looking them in the eye.

I was in Chicago once, in one of the central parts near to the river.

I can’t remember exactly what happened but I do recall this white older middle aged guy looked down at me with such anger as if expecting me to move.

I gave him a blank look and stood still. He was fuming. I had another case where I was deliberately shoulder checked by a white older man in another state when I was early 20s. There was plenty of space, he went out his way to barge me when I was wandering and standing slightly apart from the rest of the family.

And yes race is relevant to me as a POC, especially in the context of the U.S. not the exact same thing but I was in Baltimore once lined up to order coffee for me and my (South Korean) friend. The barista was doing something but she could see us.

A well dressed white southern woman in her 50s, stepped right in front of us.

I said heck no, we were first. And stepped back in front of her, she rolled her eyes and walked away.

The (white) barista who was a young woman shook her head and then looked at me and my friend, and said I’m so sorry this is just the way things are like here. She didn’t mention race but I’m fairly sure that’s what she was alluding to.

Omg yes I’ve noticed this. I realised I’d be zig zagging around everyone, always me that moved, I consciously dont do it anywhere near as much.
It also drives me mad when people insist on walking side by side on a narrow pavement and I have to move into the road!

It’s like you’re wearing an invisibility cloak because you’re no longer of interest for breeding.

I don’t think it’s necessarily about “breeding” most men don’t want to breed with women they find attractive. They want to have sex and usually they don’t want a baby at the end of that.

I think it’s more a case of they don’t like the way women look after a certain age even though usually those women look faaar better than them. But that’s the patriarchy for you. As a young woman I always refused to date older men as I felt I’d be enabling them. Plus I just didn’t find them attractive!

I have never heard of anything like that ever hahah

I didn't realise this was something women did to each other but now that I think of it I was deliberately barged into once by a younger woman at a station in London. I was simply not paying attention, just trying to work out where I was going. She came at me full force. Not a nice experience.

Reading everyone's responses has surprised me. I think to deliberately engage with playing Chicken with another woman is not the kindest course of action. For anyone doing this deliberately, a small part of your soul must have withered. It's quite bitchy tbh.

As for people walking in pairs groups, well that's annoying but they're clearly just not paying attention.

For me though, it is definitely more of a problem with men in the 40 to 65 age group. I think I'd subconsciously learnt to move out of the way of men barging through in a straight line. Then one day I realised they were actually expecting me to move so I stopped.

But deliberately playing this as a 'game' with just anyone, including people with sticks, wheelchais etc is quite sick and unkind.

yes, but also groups of school kids out in town during lunch break (girls are particularly bad) and also couples who feel they cannot possibly not walk side by side.

@CoughCoughLaugh I get your point.

I’m alluding to scenarios when I start to move to the side a little and they make it clear they won’t do the same. I wouldn’t expect a man to walk around me. Just no straight at me as though I’m invisible.

A man in his 50s ranted at my disabled mobility aid using mother for being in his way - apparently people like her shouldn’t be out. She walloped him verbally but god do I wish I had been there.