Men DO NOT have right of way!

[CalmDownCats]

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

just so I understand the rules of the game - if it is patriarchy chicken, and men think they are entitled, yet women do it to, and old and young, all so rude and entitled, then surely the unwilling participants who also refuse to budge on principle and want others to move for them are also rude and entitled?

I haven’t noticed it. What annoys me is groups of families or friends taking up the whole path, with no consideration for others.

At London Victoria everyone jostles each other, including women, teens, etc. Everyone there is busy and in a rush.

This is awful.

I wonder what would happen if you just stopped in front of them? They would have to move round you wouldn’t they?

I understood the truth of this when I was very pregnant. I walked 3 miles to work everyday through central London. The walking was fine but I couldn't dodge or swerve easily so didn't. The amount of men who just kept on coming..

I’m surprised you’re only noticing it now. It’s definitely younger men/teenagers as well.

Yes - the poster saying they "play" this at London Victoria doesn't make sense at all. Lots of people are rude/ entitled or simply in a rush there.

It depends on where you are. In my tiny hometown village yes, this would happen with some men expecting right of way and I would stand my ground out of principle (didn't realise there was a name for it though!)

At London Victoria, not so much - that's simply a very busy place and everyone is trying to get somewhere, so you are going to occasionally brush past or bump into all kinds of people.

Yeah, you only get to play this game if you are over 40, visibly disabled, very short, or stereotypically not attractive. Once you have an experience of being 'invisible' you'll be able to join, but you're playing a different patriarchy game at the moment 😀

I've experienced this, but not necessarily from just older men. There's a school near me and the youngsters take up all the pavement and don't move. I have taken to walking in the road now to give them access as they stroll along in groups. Also had women of all ages blocking my path - so I can't agree that it's just older men (in my experience). Some people are just rude and entitled.

My most memorable one was running up a steep hill. Narrow path, just about two people wide. 40mph, busy road. No path on other side. Dull winter day- I'm decked out like a day-glo bad-taste Christmas tree.

A pair of girls were walking down the hill yacking away. The only options are 1) they re-align to single file, 2) I step into the road with my back to a string of 40mph traffic, 3) stop so they have to walk around me. So I chose 3) and they looked totally astonished about a day-glo human barrier in the way of their double-file conversation.

I spend most of my runs weighing up where people are, are there bikes behind me, and planning my route around them. The complications are the free-range dogs, the extension leads, and the oblivious formation line walkers, or on narrower paths, couples, who can not detach lest their love will wither like a rose in a frost.
I'm happy to keep to a side where there is space to pass me. I rarely take up much of the space avaliable. But I reached a point where I'm no longer throwing myself off the path into mud or roads because other path users are hogging the whole thing and oblivious to the other people they're sharing with.

The worst ones are the slow packs that don't realise that anyone could possibly walk or run faster than them from behind. Walking is worse than running. Partly it's quieter. It's also harder to work out when to deploy a loud "excuse me" because it often has the effect of wounding their pride. Panting it when tired sounds less sharp and demanding.

I didn't realise how much cluttery mental processing this all adds until I did a "time trial" run in a park with 6ft DH pacing. He set the pace, I just followed behind him. It was really surreal... people actually saw him and moved out of his way in advance. There were only a few times in 10km that he had to adjust his course for people with more difficulty. If I'd been solo, I'd have ended up weaving everywhere.

Being able to run in a straight line was a revelation to me. It was like the difference between driving on a free flowing motorway with occasional overtaking of lorries compared to driving through a busy city planning what lane you need to be in now for 3 junctions time.

I don't want to hog a path; I just want my fair share of space to pass safely.

I notice this from older men and older women (able bodied ones) especially couples. They will expect you to get out of their way onto the road even if you are pushing a pram or heavily pregnant or holding hands with a small child. This annoys me. I always get out of the way for prams and small children to stop the parent having to lug the pram off the path on to the road.

It’s not simply about ‘right of way’, it’s about assessing obstacles, ie human beings and their assorted animals, walking aids, prams, bags of shopping or whatever. A lot of people don’t seem to bother with this. They just keep marching along, expecting everyone to scatter. Surely there needs to be a bit of give and take? When I’m walking, I don’t just barge along and expect everyone to move out of my way. I step to the side when necessary and I always moved my children into single file behind or in front of me when necessary to aid movement for ourselves and others. If someone selfishly doesn’t bother to make these split second, everyday assessments and they collide with someone, then they are absolutely the problem, whether they’re male or female.

I actually find it’s always older middle aged women who do this to me.

Exactly what i was thinking. A game takes too participants and the OP and those complaining are obiously just as bad as the men they are complaining about.
I have found most of the time i move slightly to left the person coming at me moves slightly to their side and no problem.
I have been deliberately barged by the odd teenage girl when i have moved to the side a few times

This literally happened to me yesterday. I was walking through a door at the train station and a guy (mid 20’s maybe) tried to walk through me. Nope. I just carried on with my laptop and bag and walked into him.

lots of swearing from him but I just carried on and got on my train. Didn’t acknowledge him or even turn around

nope, not today!

I haven’t noticed this, but I have noticed on my morning commute that increasingly men will barge anyone else out of the way (elderly, pregnant etc) to get a seat.

Often the doors will open and the same guy I see will push on first to ensure he gets a seat. Must be in his mid twenties.

I also had to travel to and through a large airport recently with a buggy and luggage - and got knocked out of the way repeatedly by men (who looked like they were going to work). It was very bizarre. Trying to get on the train, out the barriers - definitely no help, but people pushing in front of me.

Men have been doing this my entire life. I am ugly though so that may be why.

They probably think they have to because to give way to anyone is to bow to the patriarchy...

My DH is short and idiots try it on with him when he's pushing me in my wheelchair chair.

He's of the "No surrender" mentality which is interesting sometimes. It also works with groups of people hogging the pavement.

Oh my god I thought it was just me who followed the keep left rule! It was a rule at school and I always follow it. I always try and make people walk around me.

This happens to me all the time. It drives me mad! They do it in cars, on bikes….. yesterday on the towpath a man just ran at me and past a couple of much older ladies and I really wanted to stand my ground and not move our of his way, but I thought one of the women involved would end up in the canal! It’s so maddening

I’ve never noticed this as a gender thing. What I do notice is that most people are oblivious and entitled and some people are not. So if I’m walking somewhere busy, I am very likely to zigzag around and most people manage to largely walk in a straight line.

Just seen this post. Think it's a good one for you. The patriarchy is everywhere : www.instagram.com/reel/DJ5Doq8h3aw/?igsh=MTkydHF6ZTZ5Yzd0cA==

That sounds like you were trying to get on the train while he was trying to get off?

I used to live on a canal boat, and would watch people on the busy towpath for hours. I think it's more that people are totally unaware of their surroundings. I've watched people walk straight into gates, trip over ropes, have head long collisions with bikes, simply because they weren't looking, or lost in their own heads.