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Original poster

Men DO NOT have right of way!

388 replies

CalmDownCats · 20/05/2025 23:24

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

OP posts:
Financialthymes · 21/05/2025 07:47

Perhapsanothertime · 20/05/2025 23:59

Definitely not exclusive to men. Just ignorant, entitled people who think they’re more important than others.

When I was living in London and Manchester and walked around a lot, I found I was regularly having to walk on the road to pass oncoming groups of people.

In the end I got fed up of being the one to put myself in an unsafe place, or squeeze out of the way while others walked two or more abreast along pavements. So I started to go as far as I could to the side of the pavement, but not step into the road or squeeze myself out of the way, I’d just walk normally, leaving more than enough room for people to pass on the other side.

The amount of people I walked into is staggering. They had enough room, they just expected me to either step into the road or use less space than one person needs to walk through. Just so they can stay two or more abreast!

The funniest was actually a woman. Massive wide pavement, I was on the shop side of the pavement, there was a homeless man on the floor so I couldn’t physically stay against the wall else I’d have stood on him, so I was just away from the wall. Still loads of room for people to pass me two or more abreast.

group of women walking towards me about four abreast. I kept my path and the one coming towards me didn’t move. I was braced for impact, she thought she was more important than me and assumed I’d stop or something?! Anyway, I didn’t. Walked right into her and she nearly fell backward. She was ASTOUNDED and had the audacity to turn to me and say “excuuuseee ME” so I just yelled “well how much space do you want?!”

ignorant cow.

Sounds like a scene from SATC

blubbyblub · 21/05/2025 07:49

I find groups of women to be like this. They seem to think they are one singular object so 4 across and they think everyone else on the pavement should go into the road to avoid them. They seem oblivious or unwilling to scrunch up and go behind each other.

MayaPinion · 21/05/2025 07:50

Swimming patriarchy chicken is even better. My 18 yr old DD (5’1”, 45 kilos) looks dainty and fragile but is a REALLY strong and fast swimmer thanks to 7 years of swimming lessons and the core strength and fitness that comes from 18 hours a week competitive gymnastics training.

Men fully expect her to get out of the way in the pool, even though she was in the lane first, and can’t quite believe it when she comes at them like a cannon ball. Some of them even start trying to race her. God love them 😂😂😂

nomas · 21/05/2025 07:51

Bobolonson · 21/05/2025 07:42

I was in Chicago once, in one of the central parts near to the river.

I can’t remember exactly what happened but I do recall this white older middle aged guy looked down at me with such anger as if expecting me to move.

I gave him a blank look and stood still. He was fuming. I had another case where I was deliberately shoulder checked by a white older man in another state when I was early 20s. There was plenty of space, he went out his way to barge me when I was wandering and standing slightly apart from the rest of the family.

And yes race is relevant to me as a POC, especially in the context of the U.S. not the exact same thing but I was in Baltimore once lined up to order coffee for me and my (South Korean) friend. The barista was doing something but she could see us.

A well dressed white southern woman in her 50s, stepped right in front of us.

I said heck no, we were first. And stepped back in front of her, she rolled her eyes and walked away.

The (white) barista who was a young woman shook her head and then looked at me and my friend, and said I’m so sorry this is just the way things are like here. She didn’t mention race but I’m fairly sure that’s what she was alluding to.

I’m sorry that happened to you. Well done for standing your ground. Yes, as a BAME woman, I think being a woman and ethnic minority is often double the pain with these types of men.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/05/2025 07:51

I'm a patriarchy chicken player.
Yesterday I was walking home from the shops, with heavy bags in each hand. My quickest route home takes me across a railway footbridge which is wide enough for 3 people to walk abreast.
I was already halfway across, walking to one side when a man (late middle age, a bit older than me) accessed it from the other end. Despite there being no other pedestrians he switched to walk on the side I was on, coming straight towards me.
I didn't change my course, just carried on walking. So did he. He then got to where I was, muttered something and walked around me.
No idea what his issue was.
I was there first, and he had the whole other side to use.

AffableApple · 21/05/2025 07:52

When I did my back in a few years ago, I realised I'd been veering off and walking around people for years. Basically I realised when I couldn't do it. I'd become an old lady almost overnight; I had to walk in a straight line, changing direction hurt. I did a lot of stopping to let people round me. It was so obvious I was in pain, but (mostly) men got so huffy. Best was when I was holding onto a bannister walking down steps from a platform. An incoming twatty man actually expected me to let go to let him past. He stood facing off, hand on the handrail. I had two hands on it, to support my lower back. FFS, it wasn't even busy! I told him to fuck off, I was in pain and to move. Still tutted, and dramatically flounced past me.

Sunwarddangledhardens · 21/05/2025 07:52

I’ve found that bellowing “MIND OUT!” as they loom closer gives them a salutary jolt.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/05/2025 07:53

Step aside quickly, and say, alarmingly 'Dog shit!' and point behind you.

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 07:54

Bobolonson · 21/05/2025 07:44

It’s like you’re wearing an invisibility cloak because you’re no longer of interest for breeding.

I don’t think it’s necessarily about “breeding” most men don’t want to breed with women they find attractive. They want to have sex and usually they don’t want a baby at the end of that.

I think it’s more a case of they don’t like the way women look after a certain age even though usually those women look faaar better than them. But that’s the patriarchy for you. As a young woman I always refused to date older men as I felt I’d be enabling them. Plus I just didn’t find them attractive!

My point was that’s why they see younger women as sexually attractive. Because in their not overly evolved primeval subconscious mind, older women are less fertile. If it was purely about sex, then older women would be a more attractive prospect, as they’re generally better at sex and less likely to have a baby.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/05/2025 07:54

While I'm not doubting your lived experience, I have to say that this isn't something I've noticed at all. If anything, I find men my age and older to be very coutreous about moving out of the way and holding doors open. The people who are unaware are, IME, young people. Of both sexes, but if anything girls are a little worse!

Isometimeswonder · 21/05/2025 07:57

It's all sorts of people not just men.
So arrogant

maybemum2 · 21/05/2025 07:58

Part of the problem is that in the UK we don’t seem to have an established rule of etiquette that people should walk on one side or the other. A poster above mentioned a ‘keep to the left rule.’ In some other countries a ‘keep left’ or ‘keep right’ rule is more established. Here people just walk all over the place!

Badbadbunny · 21/05/2025 07:58

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 20/05/2025 23:49

I haven’t had this with older men. But have had younger men and women try and barge past me. So as a rule I just stand my ground and run over any fucker that gets in my way, children, old people, disabled people, pets the pope. No one is discriminated against 👊🏾

Likewise, definitely not just men. Woman are just as bad, especially middle aged and older women. I get it a lot on our canal footpath where I walk 3 times a day - dog walkers, groups of ramblers, joggers, women walking 2 abreast, just expect me to leap out of their way as they hog the entire width of the footpath. Likewise I stand my ground now and quite enjoy their shocked faces that they actually have to move to one side or go into single file. Of course men do it too, but certainly around here there are more women on the canal path so it’s noticeable that it’s not just a man thing.

JIMER202 · 21/05/2025 07:58

Renabrook · 20/05/2025 23:51

I have all sorts of people do it to me, shock horror even women

Same! I notice men do it a lot more but I notice it a lot with the younger generation too. I also pay attention to how men move around others and oddly the best group (male and women) I’ve noticed who actually move out the way of others seems to be the 25-45 age range. Under 25 ish seems to be an issue both genders and over 45 is men 😆 My gran would run a man over on her scooter and I plan to be an older lady with a stick lol!

FloatingTurtles · 21/05/2025 07:58

I'm mid 30s, but I've noticed the opposite at work. The men in their mid 40s onwards are far more likely to be the ones who hold the door open and wait if a woman is coming regardless of the womans age, or say you first if we wait for them as they were there first, whereas the younger men will generally just go through. Not always, but the older men seem far more polite.
Public is a different matter and far more seem to just barge through.

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 07:59

maybemum2 · 21/05/2025 07:58

Part of the problem is that in the UK we don’t seem to have an established rule of etiquette that people should walk on one side or the other. A poster above mentioned a ‘keep to the left rule.’ In some other countries a ‘keep left’ or ‘keep right’ rule is more established. Here people just walk all over the place!

True. And on London tube you stand on the right and people overtake on the left.

Tangled123 · 21/05/2025 08:00

I noticed this massively when I was in Melbourne but it wasn’t just men that did it. I hadn’t spent much time in big cities before so I thought it was just a thing people did as if you start moving out of people’s way, you’ll be doing it non stop.

I have noticed that men are more likely to let me out at junctions while driving than women though.

PluckyBamboo · 21/05/2025 08:02

I have this with all humans! Just said to DH last week I was making a conscious effort to hold my ground from now on.

Badbadbunny · 21/05/2025 08:04

maybemum2 · 21/05/2025 07:58

Part of the problem is that in the UK we don’t seem to have an established rule of etiquette that people should walk on one side or the other. A poster above mentioned a ‘keep to the left rule.’ In some other countries a ‘keep left’ or ‘keep right’ rule is more established. Here people just walk all over the place!

I agree. Keep left would be common sense as it’s how we drive. It’s also common sense as it works better on pavements alongside roads, if you keep left your further away from traffic heading the same way as you, and closer to road if your on the side of traffic approaching you so could move away if you saw danger approaching or to avoid being splashed in the wet. It’s what my parents taught me in the 70s. And what OHs parents taught him in the 70s in a different county, so it was definitely a thing, maybe from public information films in cinemas? I also remember keep left signs in my secondary school corridors and staircases. I think I’ve also seen signs on railway station staircases. Shame it’s not more widely accepted these days.

bruffin · 21/05/2025 08:04

MidnightPatrol · 21/05/2025 07:09

I haven’t noticed this, but I have noticed on my morning commute that increasingly men will barge anyone else out of the way (elderly, pregnant etc) to get a seat.

Often the doors will open and the same guy I see will push on first to ensure he gets a seat. Must be in his mid twenties.

I also had to travel to and through a large airport recently with a buggy and luggage - and got knocked out of the way repeatedly by men (who looked like they were going to work). It was very bizarre. Trying to get on the train, out the barriers - definitely no help, but people pushing in front of me.

Edited

Im a little grey haired women and i often get offered seats, my friend said she is now being offered seats on the train,by all ages and sexes.

Foolsgold74 · 21/05/2025 08:06

AsTreesWalking · 21/05/2025 07:28

It's annoyed me for a while- even happens with the girls at school (no quarter given by me), but what makes me absolutely RAGE is when I'm helping my disabled husband to walk and selfish idiots expect us to get out of the way.

I used to push my dad round in his wheelchair and it was astonishing how many people wouldn't move. I can't move out of the way so easily you fucking 🔔🔚. I was deadly with it. Took no prisoners. My dad found it hilariously thankfully, even though he was used as something of a battering ram for rude people!

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 21/05/2025 08:07

PickAChew · 21/05/2025 00:26

Even worse when they come up behind you and expect you not to be in their way by mere telepathy.

Show quote history

Even worse they think their bell is not 'I am a bicycle behind you' but 'Get the fuck out of my way'.

ExquisiteSocialSkills · 21/05/2025 08:10

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/05/2025 00:04

Actually now that I think about it, hand-holding couples are the fucking worst

Yes! Expecting me to step into the road rather than go single file for three seconds!

Badbadbunny · 21/05/2025 08:11

blubbyblub · 21/05/2025 07:49

I find groups of women to be like this. They seem to think they are one singular object so 4 across and they think everyone else on the pavement should go into the road to avoid them. They seem oblivious or unwilling to scrunch up and go behind each other.

“Packs” like that don’t seem to think at all. I suppose they’re all assuming someone else in their pack will go into single file, but in the end none of them do. I used to get out of their way but I’m too old to care anymore so I stand my ground to one side of the path where I always walk, and almost enjoy their shocked looks when they finally realise they’ll have to move into narrower formation!

Lucelady · 21/05/2025 08:12

Love the thread very funny.
I'm nearly six foot, blonde and busty. I do walk with a stick so normally that would put me at a disadvantage but men don't know where to look (clue they're looking at my boobs) so I get all the courtesy. Cyclists no, I tell them they're breaking the law if they cycle on the pavement. I usually get told to fuck off. I respond equally with my home counties accent. Great fun.