Men DO NOT have right of way!

[CalmDownCats]

Has anyone else noticed this?

Since around my mid-40s I've noticed that, in particular older men my age or above, just barge straight towards me and expect me to get out of their way.

Since realising this seemed to actually be a thing, I now just hold my ground and keep going. I sometimes even get silly, smirky looks from them as they go around me, as if they know exactly what they are doing.

It's usually older guys, never really younger ones.

Is this just me or does it happen to others too? Is it something that's always happened to middle aged ladies or just a sign of the times?

I stopped and helped a lady at a tube station a while back. It was her with a buggy and her elderly mum who had a walking stick. She was just about to start walking up the stairs backwards, bumping the child in the buggy up the steps when I stepped in and offered to help, then carried the front of the buggy while we all walked up.

Her mum was very grateful and loudly vocal in her thanks saying "thank you so much for helping - we've been standing here ages while plenty of fit and healthy men have just ignored us!" One passing man at least had the courtesy to look a bit sheepish!

Now, I don't agree with the mum that it should have been a man that stopped to help, but it was a shame they'd been standing there a while before I came along so it was indicative of the attitude of many nowadays.

Actually, yes. And young female drivers are the least likely to wave you on when crossing the road, or let you out of a side road.

Not exactly what the thread is about for this example but I was once going to the shops and it had rained heavily earlier in the day. As I was walking along, I could see part of the pavement had flooded and there was only one point that you could step over and not be in the water. This man was headed to the same point as me but it was clear I would arrive first. I stepped over and all he had was to wait a beat for me to pass him so he could get to step over. For this I got called a 'Fucking bitch'. Charming.

I also had a woman bash into me. It was funnily enough outside Victoria station. They were doing something on the pavements so they put up barriers in the road as a bypass. You could fit one line walking one way and one line walking another. As I got near the end these two women appeared, one a should out from her friend. She clocked me so I assume she'd move behind her friend as we passed each other. She did not so I slammed into her shoulder. I didn't look back or acknowledge her just assumed she was an ignorant cow that expected me to somehow get smaller so she could continue walking as she wanted.

Trouble is the bikes are all over the pavements too. It's a bloody dangerous place to be is Oxford!

Are they? I work in Oxford, I've never seen a bike on the pavement.

Go patronise somewhere else.

I'll move aside for prams, wheelchairs, the elderly or people with young children

A lot of people are saying it's old men that do it the most. Does this mean said posters are deliberately barging into elderly people!

My father struggles walking nowadays so I can't see him dodging out the way of people easily. If somebody intentionally bowled into him whilst I was there they'd be getting a muay thai kick to the leg at the very least!

I also think it's entirely possible that a lot of men have got sick of being expected to stand aside and say 'ladies first' so are playing their own version of patriarchy chicken. This would explain why it's often older men that do it. They're saying "well, if you want equality it's not always going to be 'ladies first'."

I had this the other day in London. I genuinely didn’t see him so didn’t move and he walked straight into me. He then - someone bizarrely almost tried to keep walking through me - I had stopped still and it really didn’t seem to occur to him that it would be easier to take a step back and for us to walk around each other.

I have found people of both sexes where I live to be pretty polite overall but I walk at quite a fast pace generally and just pick my path and keep on going with slight adjustments if someone is approaching.

What I have noticed at work at times is people of both sexes stepping aside to let me through a door first at which is very polite but the, ‘after you’ that I have been taught to say seems to have given way to a rather perfunctory and impatient, ‘go on!’ If there is a split second of hesitation on my part!

I like good manners so this irks me a little but I just try and model ‘after you’ next time I see them (staff of about 100 so might not happen again). Small thing but revealing of mindset.

A guy in the supermarket in France went absolutely mental when I didn’t get out of his way. Made my evening. I laughed all the way round.

This happens out riding in the countryside across the edge of fields. Rather than just stand to the side safely they continue heading straight for me and my horse. I just say he kicks watch out. He doesn’t but then they shift. They often have loose dogs which they refuse to put on a lead too.

I will not put my horse in a field of crops to damage them when someone can just stand to the side of the bridle path safely.

I’m in my early 50s. When I was riding in my 20s the amounts of men in cars or walking that would say derogatory comments was unbelievable. I’ve even had a group of men grab my horse’s reins when younger. That was scary. I was really frightened in woods.

I’d love anyone try that now. Confidence is higher and perimenopause means I take no crap. Also, since that incident I carry a whip. It’s not for my horse. It’s in case anything like that happens again.

Oddly women do not do this. We often have lovely chats.

Pedestrians (as the most vulnerable road users) have right of way over horses on bridleways so you are in the wrong here.

a bridleway isn't the highway or included in the Highway Code - so where are you getting that pedestrian have priority on a bridleway?

Bridleways are included in the recent update as cyclists need to give way to horses on bridle paths in Rule H2.

Horses are now also expected to consider the most vulnerable road users (ie pedestrians) and give way to them under “those who can do the greatest harm have the greatest responsibility to reduce the danger or threat they may pose to others.”

I've noticed men standing super close in the queue. I have had the trolley nudging before but it's usually been older women.

I had a super close till man the other week. I was on the way back from the gym, my hair was tied in a ponytail and very sweaty. Did I swing my soggy ponytail into his face? Maybe.

Well, to counter this, I was pleasantly surprised by the guy who moved out of my way in Tesco completely last night without me even having to do the mutual moving thing last night which I was about to do. I did say thank you.

I don't think it's all about attractiveness like some seem to believe. I think it's more that if you stomp along with a scowl on your face people think "I'm not having this moody cow barge me out the way!". I'll often smile at strangers and amazingly I seem to have a lot of good interactions.

Jeez. I could just as easily say that if you trip along daintily, grinning inanely at everyone, people will definitely clear a path for you. I mean, your assumption that older women get trampled on because they are invariably grumpy is a bit, well, ageist.

Well, most advocates of patriarchy chicken don't exactly come across as the most balanced individuals. They invariably sound like they've got a whole sack of maris pipers on their shoulder. 🤣

Sounds like what men say to women ‘cheer up love, it may never happen’.

Women shouldn’t have to gurn at you to not be knocked over in the street.

Gosh, people who think like that must be deeply flawed individuals. If I saw someone coming towards me looking unhappy I would assume they were perhaps in pain or struggling and certainly wouldnt try and barge into them.

There was a bump into you craze where I actually had to dodge young men. Generally I follow just behind a man in a crowd and it's like an ambulance clearing the way! If you look up at the sky people think you're crazy and avoid bumping into you! I still move around for the more entitled unless I have my dog with me having a good sniff and they are astounded when they have to move around us.

No, but everyone could just behave like grown-ups. The vast majority of people, of both sexes, manage to navigate their way along pavements without any of this angst.

The vast majority of people do not bowl along their own fixed track , refusing to make any deviation because "why should they give way?".

It's not even a case of "giving way" as the vast majority of people , of both sexes, will simply make an unthinking, minor adjustment to avoid barging into someone.

It’s not ‘grown up’ to dismiss women’s lived experiences of being forced to give way as childish. It’s sexist and misogynistic.