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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In-laws going back on holiday cost

143 replies

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 15:54

I’m pretty wound up so I can’t tell if I am being unreasonable!

We were invited to my MIL 60th weekend away camping. We are not campers, we don’t do it because we don’t enjoy it but my husband really wanted to do it as obviously it was a special occasion and quite a few other family members were going so he didn’t want us to be the only ones not doing it. FIL knows full well we would have no camping equipment etc but had said he was paying for the pitches for every one which was £120 for 3 nights which I thought was fair enough and then we could decide whether we would buy the tent, sleeping bags etc or hire a bell tent that comes with everything. We decided to do the bell tent for £410 - expensive but not really too much more than buying a tent and everything else needed for 2 adults and 2 kids considering we’d likely never use it again. Plus we wouldn’t need to pack up the car too much and it would generally make life easier, we thought it was worth it

now FIL is asking for the money for the pitch, I know it’s not a huge amount compared to what we paid for the bell tent but it’s the principal. They are extremely comfortable money wise so I can’t understand why they’re asking for it. I don’t know if it stings so much because my husband refuses to question him about it for fear of causing a row, or if it’s because my parents spring for a weekend away every year for us all because they love to have everyone together and spend time with their grandchildren (we offer money everytime and are refused, but we will pay for a meal out for them while we’re away) My husbands attitude was ‘well we get one free weekend a year so it’s not so bad having to pay for this one’ I was livid when he said that

So a 3 day weekend camping, which we would never usually choose to do is now going to cost us upwards of £700 if not more once you take food and drink and activities into account and I’m feeling pretty bitter about it all 😂

OP posts:
telestrations · 20/05/2025 15:58

£120 split between multiple people is not enough to get this worked up about. He probably forgot. Maybe you just don't want to go, you're realising how expensive this weekend is, or both

I'd try to get ahead of extra expenses like food, drinks, restaurants, days out from the camp site now and then try and enjoy it

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 15:58

Glaring omission

What is your relationship usually like with your in laws?

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 15:59

Although I’m guessing… shit

UndermyShoeJoe · 20/05/2025 16:00

I wonder if his changed his mind as he doesn’t like the way you are camping.

Is it pre erected as well?

Campers can be very judgy. Most of us are not but you do get the snobby and then the anything more than a tarp and sleeping bag isn’t camping type too.

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:01

Is he asking for the money because he’s just forgotten he offered to pay?

now the drip is… he is an uptight tight-assed twat who has form for this

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:02

Who is “everyone”?

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:02

telestrations · 20/05/2025 15:58

£120 split between multiple people is not enough to get this worked up about. He probably forgot. Maybe you just don't want to go, you're realising how expensive this weekend is, or both

I'd try to get ahead of extra expenses like food, drinks, restaurants, days out from the camp site now and then try and enjoy it

Sorry, that wasn’t clear - £120 is our share for the pitch. I know it’s not a lot, it’s just the principal of him asking for it after he said he’d pay it and knowing that we don’t have any camping stuff so we were already going to have to pay up more than other people just to be there. I do think you’re right about the fact I don’t really want to go though 😂 maybe I need to suck it up and not be THAT daughter in law!

OP posts:
Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:02

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:02

Sorry, that wasn’t clear - £120 is our share for the pitch. I know it’s not a lot, it’s just the principal of him asking for it after he said he’d pay it and knowing that we don’t have any camping stuff so we were already going to have to pay up more than other people just to be there. I do think you’re right about the fact I don’t really want to go though 😂 maybe I need to suck it up and not be THAT daughter in law!

Has he said he’s changed his mind?
if not, is it not more likely he’s forgotten he offered?

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:06

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 15:58

Glaring omission

What is your relationship usually like with your in laws?

Edited

It’s ok to be fair, we don’t see them loads but when we do it’s always fine, they live close but aren’t super involved with the kids but I’ve accepted a long time ago that’s just the way they are

OP posts:
Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:08

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:06

It’s ok to be fair, we don’t see them loads but when we do it’s always fine, they live close but aren’t super involved with the kids but I’ve accepted a long time ago that’s just the way they are

In that case just presume he’s forgotten

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:08

UndermyShoeJoe · 20/05/2025 16:00

I wonder if his changed his mind as he doesn’t like the way you are camping.

Is it pre erected as well?

Campers can be very judgy. Most of us are not but you do get the snobby and then the anything more than a tarp and sleeping bag isn’t camping type too.

yes someone will come and put it up for us etc. I hope he’s not snobby about it, they will be turning up in the top of the range, fully converted VW campervan!

OP posts:
Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:09

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:08

In that case just presume he’s forgotten

Yeah maybe, I suppose then my issue is with my husband who won’t even mention that’s what he said in the first place

OP posts:
Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:11

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:09

Yeah maybe, I suppose then my issue is with my husband who won’t even mention that’s what he said in the first place

Because it’s his parent celebration and he just wants a weekend away with his folks that he’s not especially close to

Just let it go

cestlavielife · 20/05/2025 16:11

If you paying belltent with its pitch then say so?
700 for 3 nights for a family is not cheap cheap but not so bad

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:12

cestlavielife · 20/05/2025 16:11

If you paying belltent with its pitch then say so?
700 for 3 nights for a family is not cheap cheap but not so bad

Presumably peak season as well

Thisisittheapocalypse · 20/05/2025 16:13

I'd cancel ... or send your DH with the children.

PorgyandBess · 20/05/2025 16:15

If that’s a lot of money to you, you need to raise it. If it’s not, just forget about it.

Spirallingdownwards · 20/05/2025 16:16

Thisisittheapocalypse · 20/05/2025 16:13

I'd cancel ... or send your DH with the children.

This ^

Have a nice quiet weekend at home in bed!

Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:18

But it’s my principals 😂 yeah ok, thanks all. Think I just needed to vent - I’ll wind my neck in and stock up on alcohol!

OP posts:
Topazbear · 20/05/2025 16:18

Thisisittheapocalypse · 20/05/2025 16:13

I'd cancel ... or send your DH with the children.

If only!

OP posts:
dogcatkitten · 20/05/2025 16:20

Or did he mean he would pay upfront, but expecting everyone to chip in later? It's very easy for things to be misinterpreted. I would just assume a misunderstanding and pay it rather than get in a stew about it.

GreenSedan · 20/05/2025 16:21

I don't understand. Why are you paying for a pitch when you went down the bell tent route? Surely you don't have separate pitch fees on top of the £410 you paid for three nights in the campsites bell tent?

irregularegular · 20/05/2025 16:24

You say "I'm sorry - we must have misunderstood, we thought you were paying for the pitch, did we get that wrong?"

But tbh, if you are the sort of people who choose to pay over £400 to rent a pre-erected bell tent for 3 days rather than beg and borrow some camping stuff for the weekend (plus a few cheap bits if need be) then I can't imagine the £120 is a big deal. It probably is a misunderstanding.

Ontothenextac · 20/05/2025 16:26

GreenSedan · 20/05/2025 16:21

I don't understand. Why are you paying for a pitch when you went down the bell tent route? Surely you don't have separate pitch fees on top of the £410 you paid for three nights in the campsites bell tent?

Good observation

Starlight1984 · 20/05/2025 16:26

GreenSedan · 20/05/2025 16:21

I don't understand. Why are you paying for a pitch when you went down the bell tent route? Surely you don't have separate pitch fees on top of the £410 you paid for three nights in the campsites bell tent?

Yeah I don't understand this either? As far as I am aware, on campsites you either pay for one of the bell tents / land pods / glamping things OR you pay for a pitch for your caravan / tent?