In-laws going back on holiday cost

[Topazbear]

I’m pretty wound up so I can’t tell if I am being unreasonable!

We were invited to my MIL 60th weekend away camping. We are not campers, we don’t do it because we don’t enjoy it but my husband really wanted to do it as obviously it was a special occasion and quite a few other family members were going so he didn’t want us to be the only ones not doing it. FIL knows full well we would have no camping equipment etc but had said he was paying for the pitches for every one which was £120 for 3 nights which I thought was fair enough and then we could decide whether we would buy the tent, sleeping bags etc or hire a bell tent that comes with everything. We decided to do the bell tent for £410 - expensive but not really too much more than buying a tent and everything else needed for 2 adults and 2 kids considering we’d likely never use it again. Plus we wouldn’t need to pack up the car too much and it would generally make life easier, we thought it was worth it

now FIL is asking for the money for the pitch, I know it’s not a huge amount compared to what we paid for the bell tent but it’s the principal. They are extremely comfortable money wise so I can’t understand why they’re asking for it. I don’t know if it stings so much because my husband refuses to question him about it for fear of causing a row, or if it’s because my parents spring for a weekend away every year for us all because they love to have everyone together and spend time with their grandchildren (we offer money everytime and are refused, but we will pay for a meal out for them while we’re away) My husbands attitude was ‘well we get one free weekend a year so it’s not so bad having to pay for this one’ I was livid when he said that

So a 3 day weekend camping, which we would never usually choose to do is now going to cost us upwards of £700 if not more once you take food and drink and activities into account and I’m feeling pretty bitter about it all 😂

If it helps to reframe it from your kids pov, I suspect my parents got roped into something similar when I was a kid (55 years ago) and bought a ‘trailer tent’ for a family week in Devon. I know now some of the issues it caused but as a child I have great memories of a big family get together with my cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents and I have such great memories of it even now. Let the resentment go if it’s a one off and just see it as something that you, as a family, can look back on ( and laugh with your children when they get older)

I wouldn’t go, if your dh wants to it’s up to him and he can pay from his own funds

I think this is excellent advice. If your DC remember this fondly it will have been worth every penny.

(Although you’d have to pay me to spend one night under canvas in the UK.)

Find it super odd that your husband won’t ask his father about the fee. Is he afraid of him?

I would be annoyed too - also hate camping.

Have you checked with other family members about fil saying he'd pay the ,£120 for everyone's pitch. ?

I think your FiL never offered

i think your DH told you that FIL would cover the cost because he knew you weren’t keen and you would cite cost as one of the reason why it was a no-no

it is quite understandably is something he really wants to go with his family. It is quite telling that he felt he had to tell a fib to get his wife to agree to come

You need to cancel OP. £700 for camping is so unbelievably eye watering that I laughed out loud when I read it! That’s not camping that’s more than a room for the weekend in a four star hotel! 🤣

@HidingFromDD It’s seven hundred British pounds for a weekend camping! Yes, camping….. Let’s not try to pretend it’s ‘worth it for the memories’, let’s tell it like it is - 700 quid for a couple of nights in a tent.
The kids could have a weekend at Alton Towers hotel or Drayton Manor hotel for that! Including park tickets!

But it is a 60th birthday weekend - that is the important part. It isn’t really a holiday. It is just an excuse to get everyone together at the same place at the same time. They can’t cancel, that’s the point. They are being forced to pay to attend. Usually in these circumstances the person organising (usually the parent whose birthday it is) pays for the accommodation for everyone and then the others pay the incidental costs.

It’s what we intend to do for a big birthday. We’re not expecting our kids to pay for anything.

I’ve ended up feeling sorry for the DH
he knew his wife wouldn’t want to go despite them seeing her family loads
so he felt he had to tell a fib to get her to agree

It's a "pretty basic" campsite, but they charge £40 PER NIGHT just to put a tent up?! Wow! That sounds more like what they might charge for a motorhome or caravan, to be honest. Usually pitch fees for tents are much cheaper than ones for vehicles.

It’s in Devon
peak season
probably amazing location sold out every summer

that’s the reality of that area

Woah! Thats not fair, if you read back through you’ll see that my husband also detests camping which is why we never go. When the subject was brought up originally we talked about it and he said he’d like to go as it’s his mums 60th and other family will be there and I agreed. He then said that FIL had said he’d pay the pitch price and we would just need to sort the rest.

we don’t spend as much time with his parents because that’s just the way they are, we seem them when summoned

anyway, the update no-one’s been waiting for! I spoke with SIL and she was also of the understanding that FIL was paying for the pitches however, it seems as the number of people coming grew, FIL changed his mind and decided it wouldn’t be fair to pay for some and not all. So, there we are. I feel better now I’ve ranted to some strangers and that some think I’m right to feel a bit peeved but also have taken onboard that as it’s only happened one time and it’s for a special occasion I’m going to suck it up and just enjoy it

thanks for all your input!

I bet your husband is relieved!

@Topazbear I work on a campsite and I advise you to check the size of the pitch you have booked. A bell tent with 4 beds is going to be huge. Your tent plus all of its guy ropes need to fit on your pitch.
Also, if you're planning a communal gazebo for meals etc then that will probably be of a size that needs it's own pitch.

I'd hate for you to run in to this trouble on the day. At my workplace it's legal fire regulations that make the rules and there's very little flexibility.

ETA - check the parking situation too. It sounds like your car isn't going to fit on the pitch either, so make sure there's a carpark with plenty of spaces. It's peak season and lots of other cars needing a parking space too.

It sounds like, all in all, it will be fun, and you will be "roughing it", but in some comfort, with all the accessories. As a PP mentioned, make sure to check with the bell tent rental that it will all fit on one site, with room for your car.

Happy trails!
(Even glamping holds zero appeal for me. My idea of roughing it is a hotel without room service or a fridge.)

How did the camping trip go @Topazbear ?!