WIBU if I complain about this teacher?

[Throwawaymama]

I need impartial advice in an awful situation.

my son (14) has got into a fight today at school. I am not happy about this obviously. Lots of stuff going on and I’m looking at getting him help.

There has been back and forth drama between him and another boy for the past few weeks, and today this other boy was being kept in isolation at lunch with his head of year (boy is year below so it’s a different HOY). I don’t know why but he was with her all afternoon.

my son has found out where he was and gone storming into the room with 3 of his friends (again this is NOT okay) and started to punch this boy.

here’s the bit I’m not happy with.

the head of year has forcibly got in the middle and told my son to get out - he did - but as he turned round again to say something to the other boy she has pushed him away from her and again screamed at him to get out. She’s not big or tall and she didn’t hurt him.

WIBU to complain about the teacher doing this? I thought they weren’t allowed to put hands on students?

throwaway for obvious reasons.

You described it as he walked back and the man she pushed him away.

I think if he is hurt then maybe you can bring it up but I would say due to way the situation has arisen she has grounds for a self defence

unless she pushed him im The back?

In a few years time the OP will be complaining about a prison guard being mean to her precious little boy.

Im gobsmacked you have the balls to ask. I'd be mortified if it were my son, you need to take a take a long hard look at yourself

You should be supporting the teacher. Kids are the way they are these days because teachers aren't allowed to have any authority. I'd have told my son he deserved to be pushed away and he owes that teacher an apology for making an already challenging job even more difficult.

So, let’s get this straight.

1. Your disgusting thug of a son and his 3 idiotic mates went into a room they had no business being in and attacked a younger student.
2. The teacher stops the assault - a lone, female in the middle of 5 teenage boys where you have a situation of 4 on 1
3. Your disgusting thug then turns round to shout more abuse at the victim which made the teacher think he was going to attack again and so pushed him to get him out of the room.

Whilst you sit there saying you don’t agree with what he did - your reaction to blame the teacher and not your child shows the reason for this behaviour. You have completely failed at parenting and should be thoroughly ashamed for raising a despicable bully. The reason he has turned into this is that you deflect and have never taught him right from wrong. I hope he is prosecuted by the other boy and the police.

However, the main thing you need to remember and really let this sink in - you and your lack of parenting are the reason for this situation. If you have any other children, don’t make the same mistake again. Society pays the price for having ineffective parents and the public are in danger as you have failed in your duty of care to raise a decent human being.

The fact that you want to complain blows my mind. You should be apologising to the poor staff member who was probably panicking on what was unfolding and worried she was going to be attacked herself.

Sign yourself up to a parenting course - you need it.

I hope to god your DS is PEX-d and ends up in a PRU (although I feel for the other kids there, but at least the ratio of adults to children will be more favourable). If my child was the one being attacked, I'd be calling the police and we'd be pressing charges.

Get your arse down to Tesco and get some flowers and chocolates. Apologise to that teacher, who in a split moment had to make a judgement on what your unstable and frankly dangerous child was about to do.

Have you ever thought if she wondered, when he turned away from her, if he was getting a weapon out of his pocket. She probably wanted him in the corridor so he was visible (also where the CCTV is) and she could get help (rather than being trapped in a classroom, potentially with a student with a knife). How terrifying for her.

Maybe you should be trapped in a room with 4 angry men possibly with a concealed weapon and see how you react?

She not only had to physically intervene to break up a fight but then your violent thug of a child turned back into the room again as he was leaving, what could she have thought was going to happen? That he'd make threats, that he'd try to jump the boy again, that he'd hurt her? She must have been terrified and you think the appropriate course of action is to complain? I think we can all see where your scumbag son gets it from.

No wonder your sun is a violent thug - you are deluded and permissive.
Yabvfu

I see where your son gets it from.

OMG @Throwawaymama - take a look at yourself.
Your son has behaved badly - really badly which you acknowledge.
He needs punishment applied by the school and for it to work effectively he needs to feel that you are also behind the school 100%.

What are you even thinking??

A small woman, caught up between 4 arguing teenagers who could potentially fight and she’s separating them to prevent something worse from happening.
And you are focusing on the fact she may or may not have put her hands on your son and CCTV???
Aren’t you mortified?
Aren’t you more concerned about how to correct your son’s behaviour so he stops behaving like a thug???
Aren’t you thinking of ways to apologise to her for the frightening situation she was caught up in?
How do you know that her intervention didn’t stop your son from hurting the other kid more and getting in even worse situation??
Seriously. Think about what you are suggesting here.

Who the hell are the 1% voting YANBU?

I'm not big or tall, and I can tell you it is fucking terrifying to get in the middle of two 14 year old boys fighting (or one being attacked by the sounds of this incident). But we do it, at risk to our personal safety, to protect the students in our care. I absolutely would push a boy in the chest if he stormed into my office with 3 friends and started to punch a child. I would also scream at him to get out.

The op

If this isn’t a wind up I can see where your son gets his attitude from.

OP and people voting by mistake. Surely no one can possibly believe this woman is anything but deluded at best, raising a murderous thug at worst

My daughter used to be a teacher. Out of control children like your son and parents like you are the reason she no longer is one. A lot of your son’s generation will grow up ignorant and uneducated as there will be no one left to teach them.

Parents like you are the reason we have so many teenage little shits around . Your son was bang out of order and you are trying to defend him.

Go and take a good look at yourself , your parenting and sort your teenagers behaviour out!

fucking ridiculous.

If this is a serious question - which I so hope it is not - then obviously you are being insanely unreasonable.

Your son is a disgrace. He appears to have learned this from you.

You both owe the child and the teacher a huge apology. Your son should be excluded if not arrested for this. And the teacher should be thanked for doing her job and protecting her student in a terrifying situation. There is no grey area, you are completely in the wrong.

Teachers can use their bodies to protect other students and staff members from physical violence. Lots of schools are actually providing teachers training on how to physically intervene when a student is violent.

I would be entirely focused on your thug son instead of trying to blame a teacher for trying to protect another student from him.

But thanks for providing a perfect example of the absolute bullshit schools receive from unreasonable parents every day.

Looked what up? 🤣

Look up ‘pre emotive strike’ (in a self defence context) it’s perfectly legal to put hands on someone if you fear violence against yourself or another. He’s lucky it was just a shove. 40 years ago he’d have been sent to the head for a caning.

YABVU

The teacher told your son to get out after he went into another room looking for the other boy.

You said he went out the room - but as he did, he then turned to say something to the other boy again. The teacher obviously thought your son was not going to leave, and felt the situation could potentially escalate - and that is why she did what she did.

If you son had walked out as asked, and not turned round to say something else, this would not have happened.

Wow. Do you not think that without that brave lady de-escalating the situation things could have got worse?

Your son could be in a police cell right now, on a murder charge. You absolute bloody loon.

You owe her a debt of thanks and your son’s life not going down the toilet. Complain? Fuck off!

Not saying your child had a knife btw, but the teacher didn’t t know that, and it is also worth you reading the judges remarks at the end of the article.

Your sun is highly aggressive and unpredictable. The teacher handled it like a boss. I’m gunna go out on a limb and say the class of at least 30 witness will likely tell a different story about your delinquent son.

you need to be doing more than saying “it’s not ok”

youre damn fucking right it’s not ok. Thank fuck that wasn’t my kid because you’d have me at your door

Yes. And one of the reasons why he'll probably learn nothing from the experience is because his doting mother seems to think it's the teacher who's in the wrong!