Page 7 | To not expect to be derided for startling easily

Thedeuce · 2025-05-19T10:32:06+00:00

Believe me I don’t fucking like being jumpy either. I’ve always startled easily - especially if people are behind me. Yes I jump easily, I don’t like feeling scared or surprised. Adult DS just came home whilst I was cleaning and I didn’t hear him come through the door - turned around and there’s a man behind me and yes I jumped and screamed. I know it’s fucking pathetic but he gave me the most withering look and said “exaggerate much”? How hard is it to apologise for scaring someone regardless of if you meant to or not?

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 21/05/2025 08:12

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/05/2025 07:51

Presumably he is fed up with his mother's dramatic reaction to what is basically her own problem. There are a couple of easily startled people in my life. One is my mother, but she recognizes that it is a her problem and doesn't try to guilt others and turn on the dramatics. The other is an acquaintance who makes a huge deal of it. It is annoying, attention seeking behaviour.

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Well you obviously don't understand that for people such as myself being startled isn't actually something that can be controlled. It is an inbuilt natural reaction. Believe me, if I could do something about it I would.

I don't make a fuss , I realise it's my problem. But don't think I've ever experienced being startled by somebody and that person has failed to apologise. It's just the natural and courteous thing to do if you realise you have startled someone to say "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you" , or words to that effect. I think a person has to be exceptionally ill mannered or unpleasant not to apologise!

I don't know how your acquaintance behaves that makes you say its " attention seeking" behaviour. It certainly isn't for me: it's a blooming nuisance and I wish I wasn't so easily startled.

And I think OP's son is the one who comes out of this badly. Unpleasant and lacking normal basic manners.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/05/2025 08:21

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 21/05/2025 08:12

Well you obviously don't understand that for people such as myself being startled isn't actually something that can be controlled. It is an inbuilt natural reaction. Believe me, if I could do something about it I would.

I don't make a fuss , I realise it's my problem. But don't think I've ever experienced being startled by somebody and that person has failed to apologise. It's just the natural and courteous thing to do if you realise you have startled someone to say "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you" , or words to that effect. I think a person has to be exceptionally ill mannered or unpleasant not to apologise!

I don't know how your acquaintance behaves that makes you say its " attention seeking" behaviour. It certainly isn't for me: it's a blooming nuisance and I wish I wasn't so easily startled.

And I think OP's son is the one who comes out of this badly. Unpleasant and lacking normal basic manners.

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We will have to agree to disagree. I feel bad for OP''s son, this is probably the last straw for him. I explained in the post you quoted about the difference between people who start involuntarily and don't make a drama out of it, and those who milk it for all it's worth. Something tells me that OP is in category 2.

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 21/05/2025 08:28

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/05/2025 08:21

We will have to agree to disagree. I feel bad for OP''s son, this is probably the last straw for him. I explained in the post you quoted about the difference between people who start involuntarily and don't make a drama out of it, and those who milk it for all it's worth. Something tells me that OP is in category 2.

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Why you feel bad for the son is a mystery to me! But you do you and I'll do me.

TheJoySpreader · 21/05/2025 10:25

I think it's ok to be startled, I'm a bit jumpy like that myself if I don't hear someone coming in which can't be helped, but it's rude to actually scream, so I can see the son's point if he only came into the house normally, he must have felt a bit unwelcome.