To think it's inappropriate for parents to use sexualised humour around their 18+ children?

[HangryGooose]

Really just curious to find out what others think.

I personally find it really uncomfortable and I'm not ok joking with my own kids in this way.

We were with friends of family at the weekend and they were openly joking with their kid (19) sexual innuendo type humour. One comment made was 'his favourite animal is definitely the beaver'.
Multiple type jokes directed his way throughout the evening.

Is this strange?

I agree that it's gross. Maybe that's my hangup but I don't want to imagine either my parents or kids being sexual so have no idea why people would want to joke about it.

Because I don't think we need to infantalise ADULTS
There's a difference between sexualised banter with a 13 year old and sexualised banter with a 17/18 year old

There's also a difference between sexualised banter of the general innuendo variety and sexualised banter directly about the person

As we don't know either of these facts we can't villianise this man and call him a peado

Ffs

A 17 year old is still eight years off their brain being fully matured.

They may be legally adults for pragmatic reasons but socially, emotionally and mentally they have a long way to go.

There is something really skeevy, creepy and distasteful about actual adults so eager to treat a teen as a peer and a mate. Especially if it’s their own child. And especially if being matey involves sexual innuendo and coarse banter.

I agree.

No

MN really just likes to infantalise ADULTS

At 18 a person can:
Have been driving at least a year
Can buy alcohol (due to the caveats in law they could have been drinking for longer)
Marry
Leave school
Be working
Buy a house

But apparently they can't make a few smutty innuendos...

Why is there a attraction to older women? Is it common amongst young men or teens transitioning to adulthood?

From friends is one thing; from their father is just vile.

I mean it’s crass and unfunny whoever is listening. But I couldn’t get worked up about the grown adult “children” - surely they just cringe and move on?

I think every family dynamic is different. Dh had a crack in his back windscreen, I asked him (in all innocents) if his crack was getting bigger he should maybe look at getting it checked out sooner, and both (teen) kids fell around giggling 🤭!
Sometimes double-entendre can be humorous. I have a good friend who has a very literal understanding of language,
without meaning to be, some of the things she says, and within a certain context, can be hilarious, i love her to bits, and after an explanation she sees the humour. I dislike smuttiness, or raising a crude ‘laugh’ at someone else’s expense, or deliberately making someone feel uncomfortable, but a good pun, innuendo, double meaning can be fun. It’s about reading the room, and knowing the company you’re keeping; if in doubt probably best to keep it to yourself.
I don’t have a problem with using risqué humour with adult children. My relationship with my mum morphed from parent and child to best mate with witticisms of an eyebrow raising nature, she had a wicked sense of humour. My relationship with my dad stayed as parent to child, it was critical and poker faced straight, I know which was the happier relationship.

My kids make those sort of jokes but they are all grown adults,must admit it can be funny

It is a proven myth that the brain 'matures' at 25 years old. It simply isn't true.

Everyone's brain continues to develop and change throughout their lives - and 'develop' doesn't mean it becomes more functional and sensible, either. It simply changes.

If you find a smutty double entendre coarse and unpleasant, that's up to you - you don't have to joke about them with your children at any age. That's your personal taste and perfectly understandable if you want to adhere to it. But it is only that - personal preference. It isn't about protecting anyone and it doesn't mean other people are in the wrong or that their adult/near-adult children are being harmed.

Nobody's suggesting that parents and kids share details of each other's sex lives. They're just saying that they might joke about sex or innuendo in general, that's all.

As it’s a proven myth please would you send some links?

It is really horrible for daughters to hear their fathers talking in sexual innuendos in front of them. It isn’t funny, but gross at best, and also a breach of boundaries.

As for with their sons, it also is a bit old bull competes with young bull.

Yes, yes, it is all a matter of opinion, and no one can say it is wrong to talk in sexual innuendos in front of your children, whether very young, teenage or adult.

My exs mum used to do this in front of him (and me). One time she told us that a guy she slept with had a bent dick. I was really shocked that she told my ex these details. I know families are different but it didn't seem healthy to me. Mind you my ex is a narcissist.

@ScrollingLeavesHere you go. There are many other sources, which I’m sure you can find for yourself if you’ve got the time, but this is one that explains it pretty succinctly.

https://www.sciencefocus.com/comment/brain-myth-25-development

Thank you, I’ll read that later.

That’s very different from a jokey double entendre about the word ‘beaver’ though.

My mum absolutely wouldn’t share details like that, ever. But she and I definitely laughed a lot when I was a teenager making jokes about, eg, a neighbour whose name was Dick. As in one of us might say “I saw Dick when I was out with the dogs” and the other would say “Well I think that needs reporting”.

I also remember, when I was around 18-19, becoming hysterical along with my dad at some hideous items in the window of a sex shop in Soho that we had to walk past on our way to a jazz club he was taking me to. He’s now 83 and in very poor health but if I said “Dad, remember the garden gnome dildo?” next time I visit him in his care home I know he would still burst out laughing.