To think that this rude comments/ remarks are very racist ?

[Olaolaolalola]

DS is in year 7 and goes to an independent school. He is new to school and has made many good friends. So DS was invited for a birthday party and was 3 hours late as he had a fixture at school.

While he was going to the party DS was sent number of audio records by a boy who was also invited to the party and was already at birthday boy’s home. In that audio I can hear boys laughing and 2 boys especially mocking and making rude and offensive remarks to my son.

I will phrase it to give you a better understanding of it. (We are of Asian descent and DS was born and brought up in London) I can hear 2 boys saying - “don’t come to the party, play cricket and go home and eat curry”,
”go to your mother and sit with her”. These 2 boys made entire 5 minutes audio mimicking Indian accent, calling my son from his nickname and shaming him for being called that and asking him not to come to party repeatedly and making fun of his haircut. Please note, none of the comments was made by birthday boy so other classmates asking him not to come doesn’t bother DS.

He is very bothered by the comments made by 2 friends about his ethnicity and parents. DS is emotionally and psychologically down. I can see he is broken and this incident had torn him down. As a mother I am furious to see my child sad and what trauma it had caused him. He has never faced this kind of racism/ situation in his entire life.

One of the 2 boys realised his mistake and is really sorry. I am happy that he realised his mistake and promised to be a better friend in future. I appreciate that. However I want to take this matter forward to school and let them handle this situation.

I think that the entire situation was highly racist and needs to be handled properly. What you all think ?

thanks

Take it to the school, although it really isnt anything to do with them they can atleast be aware of the situation and educate the children on the matter. I would approach the parents, play it to them, tell them you are monitoring this behaviour and will not hesitate to highlight any more of this racism in the future by naming and shaming. You need to show your child you have their back over this.

I'd want to know if a child in my class had been racist towards another child in my class. Some of us actually care about the children we teach.

Really? Your first thoughts on reading this were……a racial stereotype? How odd.

Did you have any thoughts about the actual issue here?

OP I’d have said tell the school solely so they can be on the lookout as it’s unlikely to be limited to one event but as you’ve shared the school policy is for bullying to be reported wherever it occurs it seems clear that’s what you need to do.

It is of course clearly racist behaviour.

Do you not think the kids have likely had a ton of education on bullying and racism?

The boys were trying to be assholes, they know it was inappropriate and mean, that was the point. They also were possibly trying to push back against authority.

I personally don't think this happening once is at a level where I would take action, other than to say to my son that people can sometimes make poor decisions (as he has a few times,) and some are just really jerks and should be avoided.

But even if I did think that action needed to be taken, it's not an issue of the boys not knowing.

Yes I do. Not sure what else you’d call trying to minimise the racism “just boys being jerks-ignore it” “Nothing to do with the school” and even to try to turn it back on the victim. “He was rude anyway by being late.” Not forgetting the classic “Girls do it too,you know!”

People watched Adolescence and then said “the parents should have done more” and then something like this happens in real life and some parents are saying “just leave it, boys will be boys”. I despair 😵‍💫