Male staff member in store

[Pbjsand]

Not sure if IAMBU about this, but it irritates me to no end:

I often go to a store for groceries. The store has taken to putting a male member of staff at the door (not security) to greet customers. I’m usually rushing in and out after/before school run and every.single.time. I have this man in my face saying hello as I enter and goodbye 5-10 mins later as I leave.

I feel harassed and like I’m forced to interact with an unknown man for no apparent reason when I just want to get on with my shopping, even when I make a point of looking away, trying to enter the store as far as possible from where he’s standing. It makes me so uncomfortable but I can’t put my finger on why.

I don't think it's rude either.
OP clearly feels upset, and whether she needs to change things in her life or not, she does need to acknowledge how she feels so so can change/deal with it in a way that's better for her.

It is rude.

Very few people, even those on the spectrum, are unable to learn such basic manners as returning a greeting. They may not understand the social niceties of it but learning the response is not difficult..

You don't need to engage with the greeter in any other way, just returned the greeting.

To you it is rude.
To me it isn't rude.
Neither of us has the right to force what is an opinion on other people.
It's also basic manners to accept that not everyone wants or needs to interact.

Ah ok so if he's checking you out that's possibly different.

What other signs besides his "job" part of hello/bye is he giving? Does he only say hello/bye to you do you think? Try to engage you in conversation? Block the door type thing?

You're being absolutely ridiculous. Why do you hate men so much that you can't bear to say hello and goodbye to one?

I know, it's absolutely pathetic.

No, you're being rude.

It's not 'manners' to accept' that not everyone wants to interact.

It's understandable, but to get along in society it's better to participate in some social norms even if you don't particularly feel like doing so, That means saying 'hello' if someone says it to you, even if you don't feel like it.
It costs you nothing.
It's about considering others, not just yourself.

Stop using some label as a means to justify your attitude.

This ⬆️. Even a nod would suffice if you're that troubled.

At the heart of this is "Their store: their rules". You are the one choosing to shop their, so - whether you like it or not - there is a certain element of middle--meeting involved.

There are many reasons why I personally might choose not to enter a store. But having someone - male, female or whatever - greet me on the way is wouldn't really be one.

OP is of course free - as we all are - to bestow their custom or otherwise based on whatever they want. However it's hardly the drama this thread suggests. I can only imagine there's not much on elsewhere today ?

I honestly can't figure out if some posters on MN are on a wind-up for reasons only known to them, or have a genuine hatred and disgust for the entire male population.

Can you imagine living like that and convincing yourself that you are the innocent hero of some weird dystopian world? Beyond bizarre.

Nope, not rude, just existing and minding my own business.
Stop using lack of understanding to justify your attitude.
Something costing you nothing doesn't mean it costs every other person nothing.

Before people had labels (ie a diagnosis) they'd be called a miserable old bugger.

I understand completely. I used to work with clients like you and teach them to make eye contact and engage with others. I'm professionally qualified if you must know.

You can learn how to interact rather than ignoring someone who's simply being pleasant, and stop making it ALL ABOUT YOU.

Clients like me? You don't know me or anything about me.
You managed to judge and getvsome ageism in though, nice.

There's nothing at all to suggest that this man is bothered at all whether people say hello or goodbye, he might even prefer if people didn't 😂

Not sure where the ageism comes into this @Koalafan

I've no idea of your age.

Unless I've mis-read it, you've posted as if you are ND.

You can't make that choice for him. Normal human interaction is to respond to a greeting.

How precious are You

YABU

For goodness sake, lighten up. Our M & S has 2 different greeters on different days. I always say Hello, ask if they are OK, chat about the weather etc and then do my shopping. Perhaps it's an age thing, the greeters are both over retirement age and I am 77 and my husband who shops with me is 82. Many customers live alone and value someone speaking to them, it may be the only chat they have that day. Be kind just say Hello and move on, you might be craving someone to speak to you one day

It's his job . If he doesn't do it he will get in to trouble.
He probably doesn't actually want to speak to you or anyone who comes into the shop. He has no choice

I can’t stand those people! The ones with their stall in the middle of the shopping centre so they can harass all the people walking past. I fucking hate it. Especially the ones who persist when I politely decline their advance. Those assholes are the worst!!

I feel harassed and like I’m forced to interact with an unknown man for no apparent reason when I just want to get on with my shopping, even when I make a point of looking away, trying to enter the store as far as possible from where he’s standing.

A woman is 'forced to interact with an unknown man' when a male member of staff says 'hello' when she enters the store and 'goodbye' when she leaves the store.

This is a sign of how bad things are in this country. This would simply not be allowed to happen in Afghanistan.

No, I am not, I just haven't got tolerance for something that takes 10 seconds out of your day, not only irritating the OP, but giving it headspace.
I just feel sorry for the poor man who has been told he has to do the job, especially with overthinking irritated people.

Me too. I think it’s such a demeaning job so I try to say a pleasant hello and goodbye so they know someone acknowledges their existence

Sorry I forgot to quote.

Wow men can’t even say hello these days without someone complaining