Parents hate the Childfree

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Over the past few days there have been several post regarding children for example Our new Neighbours and my loud children and To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children. in both posts there are hateful comments about Childfree people. The second post in particular never mentioned anything about childfree people but then people started making comments about them. Plenty of parents hate other children despite having them. Why do parents care so much about Childfree people and their choices? Are you jealous? Need validation? Why all the hate? Most importantly will you own up to it?

YABU - I don’t hate the childfree
YANBU - yes I hate the childfree

So far the only post …

I think the idea that 'parents hate the child free' is as insane as the idea that all child free women are bitter and wish they had kids.

Quite frankly, other parents piss me off far more regularly then the child free. I don't even think about people not having kids, why would I? It has zero impact on me. Other parents failing to raise their feral offspring however? My kids have had to share space with these brats over the years so it impacts me much more!

What a deliberately goady post. Not worthy of a proper response.

It's not a difficult concept.

People "hate" being told what they've got/chosen is bad/less than.

For example. If I say "I hate dogs" to a dog owner, they are likely to get defensive because I've effectively said "I hate what you have chosen for your life" and that gets most people's back up. Especially over a living animal/person that they love dearly.

Secondly, they are going to make the pretty logical assumption that I don't have a dog. "I hate dogs" isn't likely to be a person who has chosen to have dogs.

I wouldn't because I used to say I hated dogs. Now I have two and discovered I am, in fact, a dog person big time. Other dog owners can still be a PITA if they don't manage them well (a bit like other parents really).

yes It was case, hence this post. look at the comments from both the posts I had suggested and you can see the hateful comments about Childfree people

Can you see it? I’m so confused! The only post I can see is ‘if only there was a third option’

I’m a parent and I’m not bothered by people either having children or not having children.

No.
I'm an older in life parent.
I was childfree initially by choice. Then it wasn't by choice but by medical issue's.

I love my kids, but I feel equally uncomfortable with the assumption that because I love my own I must exude motherhood to every child and everyone presumes by default of having kids I can babysit everyone else's. Parenting your own is completely different to others.

In my childfree stance years ago, I remember getting so peeved that because I was a woman and older than the student years I was put in the children's department at a store..awnsering questions about kids shoes sizes and Parenting. I was baffled..like how the hell was I meant to know about kids...I'd never been around one!

Suggest you look at the comments from the posts I signposted

I’m a parent but have child free friends and 2 child free by choice sister. So no, I don’t hate the child free.

That said, you can feel detached from people who don’t have kids when you’re in the throws of small child rearing, it really takes over your life. I had my kids young and they’re now grown, so at this point I have more in common with my child free friends or those who’s kids are also grown than I do with those who are still wading through parenting tiny people as the majority of people my age seem to be.

But OP’s like this love getting themselves in a twist over the bare minimum and making out it’s a trend

all a bit silly

I think anyone who makes their circumstances their entire personality are draining and annoying to be around. If you are child free and talk about it constantly and how much you hate kids, it’s just like ok cool who are you trying to convince?

If you have kids and can’t breathe out without mentioning their names and motherhood, then it’s also just like wow ok you’re a bit one dimensional?

I think a lot of people lack a sense of self so latch on to these things as their ‘identity’.

The worst posts on mn calling children names etc are from parents. Even irl I encountered parents moaning more about other kids, or kids present, than childfree people

I’m childfree and don’t think anyone has an issue with this as a choice.
However there are a vocal minority of childfree people online who are horrible about children and parents. I can understand why that may give the childfree a bad rep.

So you don’t believe this anymore Op?

But isn't that exactly what I'm saying? You said you hated dogs... and you didn't have dogs.

And why does it matter to a parent if Childfree people don’t like children? They take major offensive to it. See the second post I suggested, the op didn’t even mention Childfree people but yet they were to blame for the comments.

I think there's some thing going on here - because that's not 'hate' - it's a kind of projection perhaps, putting thoughts into someone's head maybe, but it's not 'hate'

Hate is actively seeking someone out to have a go at them, not thinking about their motives and projecting ones that sound a bit judgemental.

It doesn't matter if they don't like children.

It does matter if they exhibit their not-liking of children by (for instance) stabbing footballs, or yelling at them when they're playing (reasonably) in their own garden, or trying to ban them from restaurants, planes etc.

In each of these cases I'm talking about reasonably behaved children of course - talking, playing, but not screaming and running around innapropriately.

TBH, thinking about it, I see more visceral disgust from some child-free people towards children than I've ever seen from parents towards the child-free.

I don’t hate childfree people. But I do hate it when childfree people (so people who have chosen not to have children by choice), expect a childfree world.

I get what you’re saying but plenty of Childfree people have jobs that involve children etc teacher, nurse, social worker. Gp, midwife, nursery nurse. They have plenty of knowledge.

The comments from the two posts I highlighted show hate towards the Childfree. So yes I’m posting about it, look at the posts and the comments.

Why would people who decides to have children be jealous of those who chose not too? Sure there may be logic in there but no idea what

Bingo.

OP has got about 3% of the many many posts on this thread that suit her narrative.

The rest don't. The rest say that most people don't give a toss. But that's not ok for OP who needs to be the main character. You can't not give a toss about what she does. You must hate her, or be jealous, etc etc. If you shrug your indifference, clearly you're in denial, because OP is so important that she provokes all these emotions.

But she'll still search for the one post in every hundred she can "use" and insist this thread proves hatred of the child free.