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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman declared legally dead is being kept alive due to state’s abortion laws

236 replies

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 18:02

Anyone see this story?
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/15/pregnant-georgia-woman-brain-dead-abortion-law

TLTR
US women is being kept alive on life support due to abortion laws. Woman was 9 weeks pregnant when she became brain dead. Family have no say in the matter and do not want this. The foetus if it survives may have life long health conditions and suffer from brain damage. Family are also having to pay for medical fees occurred and also for future birth fees.

I am being unreasonable to say WTF. Where is the outcry about this? This actually happened in an episode of The Handmaid’s tale.

YABU - this is the law, law needs to be upheld even after death
YANBU - WTF. Women are not safe even after death.

Pregnant US woman declared brain dead is being kept alive under state abortion law

Doctors are keeping Adriana Smith on life support months after medical emergency until baby is ready, family says

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/15/pregnant-georgia-woman-brain-dead-abortion-law

OP posts:
Someone2025 · 17/05/2025 20:41

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 20:37

There are so many factors. Who is going to bring up the child? The woman was 9 weeks pregnant, we don’t know if she even knew she was pregnant at this point. What if the boyfriend didn’t want the child? is it fair that now a family member would be forced to raise the child that they would not have had to do? What happens if the child has servers health conditions, who is going to pay? The grandmother? An older lady who night not even work? How she going to pay for the child is she get’s sick or dies? I’m not saying that all this could happen but all these things could happen. It might be the mother’s wishes to have the baby but it is everyone else who is going to have to look after the child.

Agree, all those things are a possibility.

And aside from all of that the child could grow up and read about all these articles online

Marble10 · 17/05/2025 20:41

In the best possible way, I hope the pregnancy isn’t viable and doesn’t continue. This is terribly sad for all involved.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 17/05/2025 20:43

blubberyboo · 17/05/2025 18:38

I'm not kow-towing to anyone dear!

I'm pointing out that where the left has failed women and allowed to fester then male supremacy ideologies creep in. This will always happen if left unchecked.

The left did that

You need to hold the left to account

Edited

There is no "left" in America - only various grades of radical and liberal right-wing capitalists and individualists.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 20:45

LifeExperience · 17/05/2025 20:05

I question some of the family's statements because it is illegal under state and federal law to require the family of a deceased adult person to pay that person's final medical bills. The dead person's estate pays and if that money is exhausted the remaining bills are either written off or reimburse to the hospital by the federal government. I know this for a fact because after my brother died broke and intestate, the hospital tried to get my parents to pay his final bills. They refused, citing the law and the hospital had to admit that they were wrong to attempt collection.

I can't speak directly to this case, but if the family is saying they are being forced to pay the woman's bills, they are either misinformed, lying, or being taken advantage of.

She isn’t deceased though, she’s alive but braindead.

OP posts:
Anon2536474 · 17/05/2025 20:45

Land of the free

Babyboomtastic · 17/05/2025 20:46

TheWorminLabyrinth · 17/05/2025 20:33

You genuinely think it is preferable for a foetus to gestate in a dead body? To be subjected to all the medicines that are required to keep a corpse "alive"? Do you know that the body starts to rot after brain death, despite all the "life support"? You'd want that for a child? And you'd want that child to be born without a mother and potentially with devastating disabilities? That's the better option in your view?

It depends what you mean by 'dead' really. Brain death is a concept created out of advances in medical technology.

The baby isn't being gestated in a decomposing corpse, but in a body that is kept alive, with no awareness.

In the Czech case, the mum had lots of daily physio to help with blood flow etc, and the family would sit by her bedside and read fairy tales to the bump. Her dad was ready to raise her, and the family were in agreement.

In a society where most if us would agree that it would be fab if that mum could donate her organs whilst brain dead but being kept alive, to save lives, why is the idea of her giving the gift of time, to save her own child grotesque?

The point though is that both should be gifts freely given, not taken against the family's will.

literallyarabbit · 17/05/2025 20:46

It is absolutely grotesque. At nine weeks, the foetus would not survive if born, and when it comes to term, will be severely underdeveloped, particularly in terms of brain function.

Will the state be taking responsibility for all medical fees, not only in terms of while the foetus is developing, but once born? I suspect not. It never fails to astound me that the US pro-lifers give zero fucks once the birth occurs.

Manxexile · 17/05/2025 20:47

Speaking as Devil's Advocate I wonder if the reaction would be different if the Guardian's headline said "Doctors battle to save life of unborn child by keeping mum alive".

literallyarabbit · 17/05/2025 20:50

Manxexile · 17/05/2025 20:47

Speaking as Devil's Advocate I wonder if the reaction would be different if the Guardian's headline said "Doctors battle to save life of unborn child by keeping mum alive".

No, I would feel exactly the same way and I say this as someone whose mother died when I was young. No child should bought into this world without a mother. (Am against surrogacy too).

Baguettecat · 17/05/2025 20:51

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 17/05/2025 18:25

Your opinion and the popularity of it in certain countries is why this is happening. You're allowed your opinion, we're all allowed to point out the consequences of it.

'weakly anti-abortion' is not this horror show. Let her be.

Frankly I'm anti-abortion, especially the ease in which it is carried out in most countries and the lack of respect to life this entails, AND I am also pro-women's choice, which trumps the former so I would not dream of making my opinion into a legal reality.

It's not all black and white.
There is nuance imo.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 20:55

Jhhgh · 17/05/2025 20:35

Wait. What? Does the child she has, have a decent quality of life? Or are they riddled with health issues?

I honestly don’t know, The child looked maybe 3/4? I’m not good with ages, but certainly not a young baby. Think she was holding the kid and the kid was just watching quietly as she was talking… so assume the child knows her father is also her grandfather. Child looked fine but of course you can’t judge on looks but wasn’t in a wheelchair. Charlie Kirk I think the podcaster was or something like that.

OP posts:
Lovelysummerdays · 17/05/2025 21:02

LifeExperience · 17/05/2025 20:05

I question some of the family's statements because it is illegal under state and federal law to require the family of a deceased adult person to pay that person's final medical bills. The dead person's estate pays and if that money is exhausted the remaining bills are either written off or reimburse to the hospital by the federal government. I know this for a fact because after my brother died broke and intestate, the hospital tried to get my parents to pay his final bills. They refused, citing the law and the hospital had to admit that they were wrong to attempt collection.

I can't speak directly to this case, but if the family is saying they are being forced to pay the woman's bills, they are either misinformed, lying, or being taken advantage of.

So if she owns a house with her partner (for example) then he’d have to sell in order to pay her share in medical bills.

Savings, investments, pension the stuff that could go to support her existing child. Losing a parent / partner is a hugely traumatic experience I think it’s compounded by financial stress though.

I do wonder if since her mother ok’d the original surgery if that somehow puts her on the hook for the bill.

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 17/05/2025 21:06

diabeticdd · 17/05/2025 19:08

This is what I didn’t understand, is it possible to keep a woman ‘alive’ this long and the foetus can be totally healthy ? Are they saying they baby may have issues because that’s common or is it due to the specifics surrounding the condition that made the mother so unwell. It’s not very clear but maybe it’s designed to be vague ? It seems absurd that the family could be liable for the costs of life support ??!

No it isn’t possible.

the woman is dead. Her body is not functioning. She will need medication to keep her heart rate stable, to keep her blood pressure stable. Medication to keep her kidneys functioning. She’s in ITU with clinicians having to monitor her constantly to stop her body dying. Her brain will not be producing the correct hormones to support a child. 9 weeks is still forming key organs and development.

i think the earliest survival was a mother who died at 16 weeks. The survival rate of a foetus following maternal death and life support at 22 weeks is 1%.

a 9 week foetus will not survive that long inside a breathing corpse.

I am interested to know if they will start forcing pregnant Jehovah’s witnesses to have blood transfusions and other interventions to keep the mother alive.

Plotzbluemonday · 17/05/2025 21:06

I can see both sides of this … and don’t feel that it’s fully an “abortion” issue.

The family is speaking to press, raising money, ok.

Where’s the baby’s father’s voice?

The mums medical issue is tragic, turning off life support is never easy for families … many families would want that baby and fight for it. This family doesn’t want it. The mother doesn’t have capacity, but is currently alive.

Family probably not have to pay the bills for an adult, the daughter can become a non-payer, no problem. Hospitals get this all the time. … guessing she had no insurance? No Medicare?

The baby can be adopted - disabled or not. Not sure the family is correct to say that they have to pay $$$$$ and get a disabled child to support. They can hand it right over to children services. Hand whole situation over to social services.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 21:11

Babyboomtastic · 17/05/2025 20:46

It depends what you mean by 'dead' really. Brain death is a concept created out of advances in medical technology.

The baby isn't being gestated in a decomposing corpse, but in a body that is kept alive, with no awareness.

In the Czech case, the mum had lots of daily physio to help with blood flow etc, and the family would sit by her bedside and read fairy tales to the bump. Her dad was ready to raise her, and the family were in agreement.

In a society where most if us would agree that it would be fab if that mum could donate her organs whilst brain dead but being kept alive, to save lives, why is the idea of her giving the gift of time, to save her own child grotesque?

The point though is that both should be gifts freely given, not taken against the family's will.

How far along was the Czech nurse? Was there a possibility that the baby would have life long health conditions or have brain damage? Not all cases are the same? We also don’t know if the father wants to raise the child or if the family? Just because it worked out for one case doesn’t mean it will for all cases.

OP posts:
YankSplaining · 17/05/2025 21:12

TheWorminLabyrinth · 17/05/2025 20:33

You genuinely think it is preferable for a foetus to gestate in a dead body? To be subjected to all the medicines that are required to keep a corpse "alive"? Do you know that the body starts to rot after brain death, despite all the "life support"? You'd want that for a child? And you'd want that child to be born without a mother and potentially with devastating disabilities? That's the better option in your view?

I loved my children from the moment I found out I was pregnant with them, and I wouldn’t think they were undeserving of life if they were disabled or if I was dead. Not your body, not your life, and if you’re in the UK, not your tax dollars, either.

BIossomtoes · 17/05/2025 21:20

Not anybody’s tax dollars if they’re making the family pay.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 21:21

Plotzbluemonday · 17/05/2025 21:06

I can see both sides of this … and don’t feel that it’s fully an “abortion” issue.

The family is speaking to press, raising money, ok.

Where’s the baby’s father’s voice?

The mums medical issue is tragic, turning off life support is never easy for families … many families would want that baby and fight for it. This family doesn’t want it. The mother doesn’t have capacity, but is currently alive.

Family probably not have to pay the bills for an adult, the daughter can become a non-payer, no problem. Hospitals get this all the time. … guessing she had no insurance? No Medicare?

The baby can be adopted - disabled or not. Not sure the family is correct to say that they have to pay $$$$$ and get a disabled child to support. They can hand it right over to children services. Hand whole situation over to social services.

Family probably not have to pay the bills for an adult, the daughter can become a non-payer, no problem. Hospitals get this all the time. … guessing she had no insurance? No Medicare?

You’re speculating here.Not facts whatsoever. The fact the woman was a nurse and has a five year old son I highly doubt she doesn’t have insurance. Also there’s nothing wrong if the family feel they can’t support the child.

OP posts:
hazelnutvanillalatte · 17/05/2025 21:24

ThejoyofNC · 17/05/2025 20:26

Treating an ectopic pregnancy is not an abortion.

Do your research - termination of ectopic pregnancy is still not allowed or delayed until women are in extreme pain, tubes have burst or gone septic.

Also love that you’d still off 2 out of 3.

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 21:34

Kreepture · 17/05/2025 19:23

almost worse is the only reason she IS brain dead is because of that pregnancy

She had horrific headaches and because of the heartbeat laws they wouldn't do lifesaving medical care, and a blood clot left her brain dead.

They killed her, then have left her dead body being kept artificially alive to incubate a baby.

It's beyond grotesque.

Edited

Exactly they literally killed her to keep the baby alive because if the baby had died due to them treating her condition they would have broken the law

thestudio · 17/05/2025 21:41

Lamelie · 17/05/2025 18:17

Give over. I’m allowed an opinion.

And others are allowed to point out the logical conclusion of your opinions. Opinions aren't just random things that float around detached from real life.

Neetra30 · 17/05/2025 21:43

ThejoyofNC · 17/05/2025 19:09

I am 100% anti-abortion.

However I cannot see how allowing the woman to die could have been considered an abortion. Are the machines what's keeping her "alive' right now?

I think if everyone involved was in support of this and knew that it's what the woman would have wanted then saving her baby would be miraculous. But that's not the case.

I recently had an abortion due to having a stage 3 bladder prolapse, where another pregnancy would have left me incontinent and would have severely depleted the quality of my life and the ability to provide and care for my existing children.
I also had the abortion because I literally could not have another due to having no space income as I live in overcrowded housing with no means to move.
What would you say to someone like me? That I should have kept it even if it my health had been severely impacted and my family being poorer?

Babyboomtastic · 17/05/2025 21:44

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 17/05/2025 21:11

How far along was the Czech nurse? Was there a possibility that the baby would have life long health conditions or have brain damage? Not all cases are the same? We also don’t know if the father wants to raise the child or if the family? Just because it worked out for one case doesn’t mean it will for all cases.

16 weeks, kept alive until 32ish weeks I think.
I don't know what the long term effects were obviously, but no complications at all at birth, follow up at a year showed no issues and baby developing as normal.

One of the potential issues in these cases, is that if brain death was caused by oxygen deprivation for mum, the baby may also have been deprived until resuscitated/put on life support etc, and baby may have the same sort of brain damage.

The risks are going to be different in every case, but it's certainly not unusual for the baby to the survive. Equally, not unusual for the baby to be too poorly as mum unstable or baby injured with mum.

Lovelysummerdays · 17/05/2025 21:44

Plotzbluemonday · 17/05/2025 21:06

I can see both sides of this … and don’t feel that it’s fully an “abortion” issue.

The family is speaking to press, raising money, ok.

Where’s the baby’s father’s voice?

The mums medical issue is tragic, turning off life support is never easy for families … many families would want that baby and fight for it. This family doesn’t want it. The mother doesn’t have capacity, but is currently alive.

Family probably not have to pay the bills for an adult, the daughter can become a non-payer, no problem. Hospitals get this all the time. … guessing she had no insurance? No Medicare?

The baby can be adopted - disabled or not. Not sure the family is correct to say that they have to pay $$$$$ and get a disabled child to support. They can hand it right over to children services. Hand whole situation over to social services.

She’s a registered nurse wouldn’t she be covered by a work place policy of some sort? Possibly being kept alive whilst legally brain dead for months isn’t covered? Incidentals, American insurance is a mystery to me, you pay but then your not covered for lots. Even if you are they try and wiggle out of it.

Hsnd the whole situation over to social services is a bit hard isn’t it? This is a tragedy and the family are stuck in some sort of limbo waiting to see what happens. The doctors don’t have the answers.

I do think the situation is nuanced arguably pulling the plug is not an abortion as removing treatment from the mother. The death of the fetus occurs but it’s not the objective ( paraphrased from the catholic times)

OneOliveZebra · 17/05/2025 21:49

JHound · 17/05/2025 18:25

What happens if the family refuses to pay the medical costs?

They seize the family’s assets