School's punishment of all boys in year 6

[htdt]

My son is in Year 6 and has done SATS this week, today was meant to be a fun day for them as they've finished all the papers.

But my son came back from school really upset as the teachers had separated the girls and boys and he says the girls got to do fun activities and given treats but the boys got told off and given a lesson on respect.

He's taken this badly and has said things like 'I must be bad because I'm a boy'.

It's such a shame because he's worked really hard and was otherwise enjoying SATS week, but now feels horrible about himself, the teachers who told them off and the girls getting rewarded when all the boys were punished.

I feel like I need to speak to the school next week and find out what's gone on and why. I also feel like making a complaint. But I'm not sure what they are going to do to make things better even if they did agree with me that it was not a great way to deal with some boy's bad behaviour and also very bad timing so should I just forget about it...?

I think the key thing here is that your son isn't bothered now.
Emotions were no doubt running high with him and his friends at the end of SATS week but now the dust has settled & he's had the weekend to recover he's clearly fine.

I think just leave it now & move on.

Given what the OP posted and the follow up by the school, something has definitely gone on and the school is not telling the full story here.

Do you not have any contact with other parents? Surely this is something that you can check?

Really? From her most recent updates it very much sounds like her son got the wrong end of the stick and/or exaggerated what went on.
Some people seem unhappy with that explanation though and are desperate for it to be a dark, sinister practice by the school.
Interestingly, the OP doesn't seem to be one of those people....

No I don't think your back pedalling at all. I think when you spoke to the teachers they said it wasn't meant as a punishment and meant it, and you could hear the truth of it in their voice, or at the very least they were sure enough to call it "not a punishment" that you felt you couldn't argue with them. I also think your son absolutely viewed it as a punishment! I'm with your son, as far as my vote goes tbh.

The problem is that rewards are very often mishandled and cause huge offense. You only have to think of rewards schemes in workplaces to get my drift. Giving out uneven rewards to just one gender was a very poor move, but it sounds like the teachers don't view going without rewards whilst doing something else as a punishment. They're absolutely wrong, but it's the type of wrong which is vastly better than deciding to punish just boys deliberately.

Then, they decided to have a respect lesson, but instead of phrasing it all positively, they dragged up some old example of negative behaviour, which should already have been dealt with, and buried. Dragging it all up again on what should have been a fun day, making the boys all feel blamed, complicit and implying that's why they had to do the activities. Meanwhile the teachers think what a great, relevant example to learn from.

I was aghast at the initial story from your son, but I feel much less so now that it was likely ignorance and mishandling rather than a more aggressive targeting of the boys but I'm not sure why that is to be honest. It's still the same effect..

How do you know more about this than the OP seems to?

That her DS has told her what the "telling off" was and what was said and the OP posted that its "sounds awful" and that she is back to "square one"..

Doesn't sound like her DS was exaggerating or got the wrong end of the stick.

Whatever has gone on, it has been handled very poorly by the school from start to finish.

Seriously, I think the OP just wants to let it go now.
Way too much hatred & distrust of teachers on here. No wonder they are leaving the profession in droves!

Because the school are terrible at communication.

My point is that you don't know!
It's just speculation based on the scant, confused details the OP gave which she isn't even sure about.

I completely agree. Total speculation. OP said pages and pages back that they probably wouldn't get the full story.

I did mean to start my post with "I think" to make it clear it was just my opinion of how come the teachers and OPs son disagree that the session was a punishment. Oh wait... I did!

And then lots of details about the lesson on respect etc etc almost as if you had been there!

Anyway, this issue is over. The OP is clearly embarrassed by the thread & all the OTT responses it whipped up.

As suspected, it was all a storm in a teacup and her son has forgotten all about it and moved on.
So should we all.

As an ex-teacher in this case that excuse won't wash.

Whatever has gone on here the school has dealt with it very badly, not only with the children but with their response and general lack of information to the parent/s.

I think maybe the teacherTA who was looking after the girls bought the sweets and ice lollies for that class out of their own pocket, or a parent sent them in. Maybe it was one of the girls birthdays?

Teachers run the class and they don't need to run everything by the parents, who frankly need to be much less involved in the day to day stuff.

But has anyone else complained?

Surely if it was such a terrible situation parents of the 99 other boys would have been queuing up to speak to the teachers/Head too?
Really doesn't sound like that happened or the OP would surely have mentioned it.

Storm in a teacup.

Dealt with what very badly? There was no punishment, and it sounds like boys & girls did activities all day and some of the boys were reprimanded about a separate incident (which OP’s son wasn’t a part of).
Sweets & ice cream probably brought in by a different classmate’s parent, as another poster has suggested. OP and her son have moved on.
No biggie.

As you have asked.

The school split the sexes. Not good practice, unless there is a specific reason, which would have been emailed home with an opt out.

When the "football" boys were being told off it was done in such a way that some of those not involved thought that they were being told off.
See the OP's posts about other boys complaining and being told to get over it. This would have been the point at which to tell those not involved that they weren't being told off and the activities were going ahead as planned.
Then use of language that the OP's DS says that they used.which the OP says was not good.

Nobody got back to the OP even though she asked to speak to someone at reception, this either wasn't passed on or the higher ups ignored it.

And if the boys being mean to the girls is an on going issue it should have been dealt with long before the end of the SATs.

Yes the OP and her DS appear to have moved on. But you asked.

So you are basing everything here on the testimony of a Year 6 child, whose testimony sounds woolly and confused at best and who sounds quite immature given his comment about "being bad because he's a boy"?

You sound overly invested in this situation and like you have a real axe to grind with schools and teachers in general.

And I'm not sure why separating sexes for some activities is such a heinous crime - my own daughters went to a single sex Secondary School up to GCSE as that is our local choice. And they both did brilliantly there.

The school didn't need to get back to the OP (not sure why the bold is needed every time?) because basically nothing really happened beyond the normal stuff that probably happens in primary schools every day. Behaviour happens, kids get told off, sometimes classes are split into groups, yes, even according to sex. No drama!

As you are trying to get pedantic

Firstly OP is original poster.
OP is opening post.

Secondly, I am an Ex teacher so your comments about about teacher bashing and having an axe to grind just shows that you are either not reading or ignoring parts of my posts that don't suit your purpose.

I am have based my opinions on what the OP (oops there it is again) has posted and not some made up version in my head.
And in the schools that I have worked in it is common practice, not only by teachers, but by SLT to get back to parents that have a concern, to prevent situations like this getting out of control.

And you are also determined to not listen to anyone else either if it doesn't suit your agenda and your desire to whip this up into something it isn't.

Anyway, it just doesn't matter because the OP (no one else seems to have your very distinct differentiation of terms) is gone and very much gave the impression it was all a drama about nothing which is exactly how it sounded all along. It was more about a young boy not getting an ice cream than anything else!

I answered the previous poster because she asked for my opinion.

You on the other hand do seem to be wanting to make more of other people's opinion than is necessary and seem to be quite upset that someone dares to have a different opinion to you.

And yes, as I agreed with the previous poster (a point that you seem to be ignoring) the OP has moved on.

🙄🤷‍♂️

If that is where your at then there is no point is there?