School's punishment of all boys in year 6

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My son is in Year 6 and has done SATS this week, today was meant to be a fun day for them as they've finished all the papers.

But my son came back from school really upset as the teachers had separated the girls and boys and he says the girls got to do fun activities and given treats but the boys got told off and given a lesson on respect.

He's taken this badly and has said things like 'I must be bad because I'm a boy'.

It's such a shame because he's worked really hard and was otherwise enjoying SATS week, but now feels horrible about himself, the teachers who told them off and the girls getting rewarded when all the boys were punished.

I feel like I need to speak to the school next week and find out what's gone on and why. I also feel like making a complaint. But I'm not sure what they are going to do to make things better even if they did agree with me that it was not a great way to deal with some boy's bad behaviour and also very bad timing so should I just forget about it...?

Will people kindly please read what actually happened with the TA before making stuff up?

Does the Equality act apply to schools, presumably on the UK where presumably the OP is?
I believe gender is a protected characteristic and punishing a person or group due to gender is illegal.

If some children of a different ethnicity had said "girls, you cannot play football" and children on one ethnicity were punished what would the outcome be?

Resilience is a very good quality but standing up.against injustice, not rolling over and being taken advantage of, is as important.

It's SEX that is the protected characteristic, biological sex. Conflating sex and gender causes a whole other heap of trouble. Gender reassignment is the gender protected characteristic.

Seems to be giving a lesson on modern Britain and what to expect for his future unless he leaves the country

I’m sure the suck it up posters would be livid if the girls had been collectively punished

Agree and in the extremely unlikely chance that the boys of year 6 get an apology and those activities sweats and treats next week I dare say there’ll be a thread about

Why didn’t my dd get to celebrate twice !

Hopefully he’s not resentful towards the girls, as they’ve done nothing wrong.

The sad thing is, like all of these behaviours, is that the person who did it will not own up. Was there an opportunity to anonymously say who it was? Even then, with peer evidence, it's difficult to prove, especially to parents, although we know, we know!

So the threat and punishment was because the boy wouldn't admit to ot, all the boys were punished.

Yes, of course unfair, meanwhile the instigator will be known and further investigations will have happened, but if he continued to say it wasn't him, even thought the repercussions were put upon the whole group, like Police, you can't do anymore.

Sad but true.

At the end of the day though they won't see this as the end of the world, it's just a couple of hours, but the unfairness because one of more cowardly peers will be a life lesson to learn from. Xxx

The TA didn’t ’mete out’ the punishment. TAs have no disciplinary authority in school. The class teacher or pastoral leader gave the punishment. The TA took it upon herself to get involved in a drama, what she says is irrelevant tbh, she won’t be privy to the whole story.

Whilst TAs may keep parents informed about academic matters to do with their direct duties with a child, it is NOT their job to report tittle-tattle or discuss disciplinary matters which maybe subject to confidentiality. They have no authority to do this. The TA should not have spoken to the OP on this matter, it’s not in her remit. If anything, she’ll get reprimanded for it.

Clutching my pearls. The girls were practically PROVOKING the boys with their ice creams and sweets?! Maybe the boys shouldn’t be such little shits then?

Do you agree with collective punishment then

I don't agree with collective punishment, but I do agree with schools addressing issues if discrimination with students. If the school has a problem with boys discriminating against girls, absolutely they were right to talk to the boys about it - I'd be horrified if they hadn't. I would not consider a lesson on respect a "punishment". I would consider it an important and beneficial intervention, and one I was pleased my child's school was making.

It does not sound like the TA you wss perhaps fully informed of what happened - if you must follow this up with the school, maybe speak to whoever organised the invention.

I also think you need to do some work on emotional self regulation and proportionate responses to events with your son. He is not a tiny little infant - he is very nearly in secondary school - he ought to be able to cope with being part of a large group of students getting a lesson on respect to address problems that have been occurring, without this degree of emotional upheaval. And you do him absolutely no favours at all in life if you indulge this melodrama and make him feel it's a valid response. Maybe instead, talk to him about how appalling it is when males discriminate against females - as you say he is a kind boy with many female friends I am sure he will be able to get down with that - and how great his school are recognising it's happening and trying their best to address it. Maybe discuss with him ways he can proactively challenge such discrimination himself when he witnesses it occurring.

Are you even sure this was a punishment? You have said the boys and girls were separated for "most of the day", and did different activities, and that the boys did "activities including a lesson on respect". Firstly, I find it hard to believe that teachers have a whole day's worth of activities x 2 up their sleeves to just pop out one day because 'boys are bad'... usually these things take a lot of planning. Secondly, a lesson on respect to a bunch of boys about to start high school actually sounds like a great idea... maybe this was a planned lesson? And they used the football thing as an example of disrespectful behaviour?
The lollies and ice creams could be that one of the girl's teachers bought them out of their own pocket.

I’d do an informal complaint… let the school know what a negative impact it had on your child and their identity as a boy. TBH segregating and punishing one gender of kids in front of another is ha humiliation tactic. To do it across all the boys is potentially discrimination (gender is a protected characteristic). It’s clearly an ill thought out strategy by an uneducated individual who needs to be made aware of the damage it has caused to children and that it could land the school in hot water re the law. Schools seem to be in the dark ages with their approaches. Really out of touch. No gender should be punished as a group even if one or two did something problematic. Punish the specific individuals instead. Definitely complain or they will continue with this damaging practice

They separated the sexes. Nothing to do with gender

It wasn’t just girls on the receiving end of the behaviour, boys were too. It wasn’t all the boys involved but the ones playing football. Some boys play elsewhere so quite frankly his response was entirely proportionate. I’d be livid.

What is happening to the wrong doing towards those boys who got a punishment for something they didn’t do AND were on the reviving end of the behaviour?

What collective punishments does the school give out for racist and abelist behaviour, unkindness towards those with SEN? Girls can be vile what collective punishments have they had? I’d be requesting to see behaviour policy.

Im hoping none because collective punishment is wrong and lazy. Staff should have been supervising the playtime and would have been more than capable of highlighting who was playing football and directing a punishment at them. To just punish everybody who is a boy even though all boys weren’t even playing football and some had also received unkind behaviour from the perpetrators was lazy and wrong.

All the boys weren’t being “little shits”and girls can display very unpleasant behaviour too.Wonder how the girls being collectively punished whilst the boys got to eat ice cream in front of them after a week of SATS would have gone down?

If there's one thing I just hate, it's a whole class punishment, or in this case a whole gender one. It's punishing the wrong people for a certain one or few's behaviour. It also stinks of the days where they thought the others would "lean on" the naughty one/s in retaliation - except now they would be accused in turn of bullying. It's lazy teacher-dom really. And the good kids dare say nothing to the naughty kids in reality. Unfair!

"negative impact on your child & his identity", oh come on, stop being so dramatic and OTT. He will have forgotten all about by this time next week if not before!

Honestly, what chance do kids have of coping with life if adults around them make such a fuss about things like this?

That's not the case everywhere. In many schools the TA takes the lead on behaviour, at least when communicating with parents or maintaining home relationships. They have the best relationships with the students, and all behaviour management comes from relationships.

I also find it very ironic that the boys were supposed to tell on other boys, because otherwise they'll get punished for being too passive, but when a professional is asked a direct question by another adult they are not supposed to tattle!!! One rule for them, and another for us eh? Perhaps they shouldn't have behaviour policies they're ashamed of. Or perhaps, like better institutions the TA simply knows they will admit to their mistakes when they make them.

More often than not it’s TAs outside doing the playtime supervising.

Isn't it telling that when it’s boys who have been treated unfairly the rhetoric is- little shits, they deserve it, fairness doesn’t matter, get over it etc.

If it was girls the rhetoric would be very different. It would be rise up, stand up for fairness , girls deserve better etc

And we wonder why we as a nation have issues as regards the MH of boys and success in school.

Last week in a Citizenship class, SOME boys were messing around. All of the boys were sent out of the room. When they were called back in , they all had to copy out definitions from some Oak Academy slides on Climate change, in silence. Meanwhile, the girls, who were being very noisy, shouting out etc, made a mind map about feelings and interacted with the teacher.

It does happen with girls - it happened to my DD. And no, I was not happy. It also happened with my sons.
Don’t be one of those mums who hates on girls just because you have a precious DS…

Why do people keep coming on here and assuming "if it was girls it would be different"?
Where is your evidence?

Tbh, there is a lack of real evidence about what happened as it is, without people making grand assertions based on their own prejudiced views.