Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

Our kids left home a while ago. Our home is very peaceful now. And we get to sleep in on weekends.

A young family just moved in next door, and they have four under ten. At the first glimmer of sun they're out in their garden, running around, shouting, whooping it up on their trampoline.

It's great. We've missed it.

@spoonbillstretford haha that would solve everything .

But can’t see that happening . She has lived there for 30+ years . So I think we rocked the boat moving into the ‘ village ‘

I don't waste my time knocking on the doors of noisy inconsiderate pisstakers; it's a foregone conclusion that they would not be cooperative or receptive.

Nor would I harrass at 4am. But I certainly would fight fire with fire between 7am and 11pm. Naptime or no naptime, childminding clients or not.

If OP wants to make it the neighbourhood norm to create loud noise, she'll find herself suffering the same as everyone else..

Agree. Woman without children, come on. I have DC I think I’d be getting annoyed. Less judgement

She sounds rather illogical and is just making things worse for herself.

It's just illogical. Noisy kids at 7pm - so fucking what? Noisy kids waking up at 4.30am, absolutely excruciating. And also illegal to play loud music then, whereas children playing outside in the early evening isn't, obviously.

I'd be tempted to buy an air horn and wait until she'd gone to sleep.

You need to be honest with her about your plans to offer a childcare service. Not only will there be increased noise, but there will also be increased traffic/parking at certain times, etc.

Also consider as part of your business insurance the likelihood that she may sue you for noise nuisance (yes, she can do this). This is obviously more likely if you are already in a dispute with her.

Tread carefully OP. Neither you or your neighbour are in the wrong here, but for the sake of harmony you do need to find a way through this which keeps her from future formal or legal complaints.

Have you invited her round for coffee to meet the boys? Can you agree a 'playtime' period, so at least she knows when to expect noise? There are a few diplomatic moves you could make here to repair the relationship, it's not too late.

When it real villains were the two brats who disturbed her home. 👀

You got from the story that she was a poor old woman being disturbed by kids? Not luring children to their torture and death, by constructing an irresistible house made of sweets? A death which involved being keeping them in a cage, fattening them up then cooking and eating them.

Yes, I'm sure she was just a misunderstood individual who liked peace and quiet. 🦇💩🤪

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse you asked me . I explained : you take things the wrong way on these posts .

I couldn’t care less how she lives her life . I do not judge others on their life choices. Hats off to her for choosing a peaceful life . Clever women.

so again you have judged me from misinterpreting my comment.

I was explaining that she doesn’t spend time with children nor do children visit . And she told me she doesn’t like children. Therefore I think it’s safe to say she’s is not used to children’s noise

I’m starting to think you are my next door neighbour logged onto mumsnet

They are obviously quiet when they are sleeping so, by waking them at 4.30am, she is surely prolonging the noise. I find that an odd reaction.

So? Of what relevance is her social life to the noise your family is making?

What if one of your sons decides to lead an introverted or solitary lifestyle. Will you call that out as some sort of weirdness, too?

It's obvious you think you are totally in the right and she in the wrong. However, this is irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact she can make your life hell and she already gave you a little taster session. How you proceed is of course up to you, but brace yourself ... she will continue to be difficult and malicious. :((( I feel sorry for both parties, as I get both perspectives.

@TheHerboriste think you need to re read why I wrote that

@WorryBear true

I believe I am right that her behaviour was childish. And I am right about how hard I try with my children and to be a respectful neighbour .

but I also do understand living somewhere quiet then a family with two young boys move in is going to upset her .

I also think I could make her life hell too if I was petty . Anyone could . I want to find away we can live amicable when we both live very different lives .

Should say the PG version 😂 not the famine version

If you already think you’re right in all counts, why start the thread?

Huh?

the kids sleep 7-7. It’s the neighbour waking everyone at 4.30!! Not the kids!!! Please re read.

You are making snide statements about her and then backtracking, all wide-eyed and disingenuous, when called on it. "Oh I didn't mean it like THAT..."

I'm an advocate for authoritative parenting but I know the trend these days is towards soft parenting. Having said that the neighbour's behaviour at 04:30am is not appropriate.

@ExpressCheckout hi thanks for this advise .

erm , I have introduced her to my boys. Who gave her biscuits when we moved in and she seemed to like them . But it was then she told me she had never liked children. she didn’t like the young children who lived previously to us either . They were learning instruments so she hated that .

So I wouldn’t naturally follow up with come round and enjoy some time with my children .

But yes you’re right I will tell her about my plans moving forward . I Hve told her to please knock if there is an issue .

I also will never have more than 3 children in my care .it will also only be part time. So I felt like it wouldn’t be much different to my own kids having friends over which is why I considered not telling her . But yes i will tell her . But hopefully parking should not be an issue.

What a depressing take. Children being excited and a bit noisy IN THEIR OWN GARDEN is incompetent parenting?

@TheHerboriste any chance your taking them as snide comments ? They are not. Maybe ask yourself why it bothers you what I’m saying about her living situation . As that’s all im doing

The neighbour woke the kids with loud music - making the kids loud at 4.30am. And therefore making the situation worse for everyone including herself! Please re read my post!

You obviously haven’t read the original 😁

‘Screaming noise all day’ - where did you get all day from?