HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

He'll claim it was wrong recipient

It wasn't

Do not go there

Totally inappropriate. I would actually send to his partner.

I had many jobs when I was growing up. At 14 I was cleaning for a couple of people. One of them involved a husband cornering me in the kitchen and asking about what I’d done with a boy. He asked whether I’d experienced a kiss as he kissed me and then proceeded to slobber over my neck. I quickly got out and never returned. He was later arrested for childhood sexual abuse, annoyingly I wasn’t one of the cases.

Some fucking men have no boundaries or respect for women or girls. Yup, I’d forward that text to his partner and ask what she wanted me to do with the key. Don’t do more than you have to OP.

I hope you’re ok 💐

She's under no obligation to check that it's a mistake. She's self employed and can choose her clients. If she chooses not to work with this one again that's entirely valid. She doesn't need to centre a pervy bloke in her decision making.

Cleaner here.. Once arrived at my regular customer's house and he was out at work as usual.. His - ahem - collection was on the bedside cabinet.. I bundled it all into a top cupboard and said nothing.. His face when I did see him was a man dying of embarrassment..
Never mentioned it. And it never happened again.
In your shoes I would send a short I Don't Think That Was For Me Bob...
If you get a suitable apology I wouldn't bin him off.

Wrong texts do get sent...

I doubt it was a mistake - he hasn't messaged you to say it was so I assume it was meant for you. I'd call his partner and tell her that you won't be cleaning there any more.

I can't believe some of the responses on this thread.

My guess is that he’ll attempt to write it off as “accidental” if he doesn’t get a receptive response from you. He’s testing the waters in a way where he can backtrack if you don’t react positively.
Its tale as old as time with these men.
I wouldn’t be showing his partner, but I’d absolutely be returning his keys and making it plain you will no longer work for him.

I strongly suspect this is an accident and he hasn’t realised.

I doubt he's realised he sent it to you. I had a message from the counsellor a yp I care for uses, thankfully no identifying data because it wasn't for us. I didn't read it until 2 days later and replied to say it wasn't for us, she had no idea she'd sent it to the wrong person. It happens

"Wrecking someone's life", @ButterCrackers? Come on now. How would OP go about doing that? Apart from the fact she's shown no desire to do so.

Are you finding it hard to understand that some men send messages like this to try it on or enjoy pushing boundaries, and then would claim mistaken recipient if challenged?

I would forward to his partner and block.

The tone in the rest of the texts is completely different so I doubt it was meant for you . He probably hasn't even looked at his phone since , so doesn't realise .

I would assume that message was meant fif someone else.

Its rare to go from 0-100 and not test the waters first.

Plus if you hadn’t replied quickly he’d be back tracking by now.

I would text him asking if that message was for you.

Then decide your next steps based on his reply.

I think you need to send this to his partner. You can say ‘I am hoping this was meant for you, but as I’m sure you will appreciate, I am deeply uncomfortable about continuing to clean for XX & will therefore return the key to his home at my earliest convenience.’

Edited to add: I disagree with PPs who suggest you ask him. He will jump at the chance to deny it was for you even if that was the case. If it was for his Partner she will apologise, likely be embarrassed but may eventually see the funny side and clear the matter up (er, no pun intended).

You cant ask if was an accident, because even if it was not he will say it was an error.

Set up a group message for him and the partner, send the screen shot and say you’ll be returning the key as this is inappropriate.

I wouldn’t say you found it upsetting or anything as some people get off on that.

Without checking on the intended recipient? Additionally- Why send to his partner?

I meant to text my dp earlier- text my son instead- didn't realise until I wondered why dp hadn't text back. Good job it was an innocent text! Easily done lol

Text him and say I think you text this to me by mistake and see what he says? Any more pervy texts send it to his dp and say you quit.

He might not have realised he sent it to you and seeing there’s been no more messages in the chain hasn’t checked. I wouldn’t go back into a message chain I thought was dormant.

Messages can be sent in error. Have you never got a WhatsApp mixed up?

What a pig. Don’t go there again or he’ll think you’re on board with him being a sexpest.

It’s not meant for his partner. He’s asked a question and has presumably checked for a response. So had a chance to retract. His message is about how horny he is because he’s not getting any, so he’s reliant on porn and his hand. That’s not a message you’d send to your partner. He’s testing to see if you’re open to anything.

Don’t give him an out by asking if he meant it. Send screenshots to the partner and block.

How would a message sent in error wreck his life, @ButterCrackers?

I tend to agree. I think it’s an odd text to send to a partner.

OP do you mean he contacts you for non-work-related chat? That sounds inappropriate in itself, unless you’re friends, which it sounds like you’re not!

If it was me, I’d return the key, not do any further cleaning, and send one brief message to whoever pays you (either him, or his partner) to say due to the inappropriate message you are terminating the arrangement immediately. Then don’t engage at all with anything further from him.

Sorry this has happened!

Spot On. Plus some men get off on ‘accidental’ messages. He knew what he was doing