HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

I’ve worked in retirement schemes. This reminds me of a story my colleague told where a long term married resident who be all accounts was very gentle and kind suddenly switched and had a Jekyll and Hyde personality. He used to say vile things, turns out it was early stages of dementia and when he had UTI’s in particular he would say similar things.

Not to excuse this man, as it’s pretty gross and horrid, but there may be something else going on.

Me neither, has the post been moderated? It’s an exchange about doing the ironing while he goes out on his bike?

I’m amazed so many posters believe it was sent in error. Like the man whose dick is showing or who brushes your boob, he knows exactly what he’s doing. They say it’s an accident if it’s not reciprocated, sure.

If it is a mistake (it’s not) I’ll eat my hat.

Eww I think I'd block and hand my notice in 😲

You need to click on the photo to view the final message.

Click on the photo to see the whole thing.

His lack of follow up may very well be because he just hasn't realised he sent it to the wrong person, or that he is just unbelievably embarrased about it.

Really, you can either just bin the guy off as a client or you need to get some sort of clarity as to whether it was a mistake, and to get that you just need to ask him directly.

To me that is clearly for his partner, sounds like something that would be sent to a long distance partner. The context is all wrong for you, there would more likely be innuendo about cleaning. I think he either hadn't noticed yet or is too mortified to reply.

1. Maybe somebody was playing with his phone
2. Maybe guy has mental issues
3. Maybe he is actually lonely
4. Maybe it was sent to you by mistake 😂

I don't think it was intended for you and I also don't think he's realised. I think he'll be mortified once he realises.

Reporting him for unwanted sexual advances and language which have made her feel uncomfortable.
He’s her employer and it is illegal and therefore a crime.
HTH FFS 😁

WHHHYYYY are men like this?

I’ve had this, a man I know professionally text me to say he’s in a hotel room and could I come and service him.

I’d ONLY ever spoken professionally to him. I’m in quite a senior position.

We all need to start calling this out, this bullshit needs to stop.

Some women must be acquiescing otherwise why do they still do it? I’m not blaming women, just genuinely trying to understand why they do this and if they think they have a chance?

That screams mistake even more then. Sent you a nice message about a cafe, politely answering your observation of the nice day for a razz on the bike and then thought he’d swiped to the decidedly fruitier convo with whomever he was sexting (hopefully his partner!).

Made dinner, maybe watching some telly with a glass of wine and will pick his phone up in a few hours as he goes to bed after the Ten o’Clock News, and will then promptly die of shame.

If it was meant for you - ewww, just majorly creepy. If it was meant for his partner, I’m kinda impressed by the randy old goat. I’m too knackered for sexting now, at the age of 41, never mind in another 30 years!

Ok the nice part of me thinks it's a mistake

The cynical part of me thinks grim grim grim

I admit this also crossed my mind.

Why would someone that apparently regularly sees their partner text said partner to say their only sexual release is porn and their hand?

It’s not a mistake, he deliberately sent it. Like a flasher, he gets off on it.

Gawd -is he a working dr.?

You have to click on the screenshot in the OP to see it.
Definitely inappropriate.

Semi retired dental

Me too, but even so the partner needs to know so that she can monitor the situation.

but it’s grim. Tell her. And do not go back.

You've never sent a message to the wrong recipient then? Or heard of anyone doing it?

If you accept messages can be sent to the wrong recipient, then you accept messages like this can be. Sitting there saying "it never happens and it must be deliberate" simply flies in the face of reality. Of course it could be an accident. You don't know any more than anyone else whether it was.

@LemonLass you were hired by the wife, I think you owe her an honest heads up why you are leaving the job. It can absolutely be a sign of early dementia and it would be good for her (and other replacement cleaners) to be aware.

Amazingly unlucky that it’s such a filthy one then isn’t it?

If he's done it on purpose, he's taking a wild risk that you won't send it to his partner. (Unless she knows what he's like and doesn't care.) I suppose he could always lie to her, as well, that it was meant for her, but still risky.

I'd find it too awkward to continue interacting with him, and I'd be a bit worried he might be unstable. It's a weird thing to have texted with no encouragement or previous flirtation.

5 Maybe it’s deliberate and he’s a creep