To insist on DP showering before we are intimate

[GreenGreenGiant]

DP works a manual job, and can be a bit whiffy when he returns. I’ve always insisted on him showering before any intimacy which he has done without complaint. Recently, he is moaning about it and saying it kills any spontaneity as he doesn’t shower as a matter of course after work (he has one each morning). I would struggle to be intimate without him showering if I’m honest. Do you see his point of view or am I being a bit uptight?

If he’s a bit whiffy when he gets home from work I’d be wanting him to shower regardless of intimacy.

It's a matter of personal opinion. But for me, no I could not be doing with introducing mandatory showers into proceedings. It's not quite the scene I'm going for.

No shower, no sex! Ewww! He needs to shower when he gets home, and he can then be as spontaneous as he likes later.

yeah he needs to be showering twice a day if he smells after work!

He has a manual job, he needs to have a quick shower when he gets home, his sheets must reek if he's whiffy after work.
Can't believe he expects you to put up with his stench, how attractive?!

If he stinks after work he should be showering after work, regardless of intimacy.

If he has one shower a day and is working in a manual labour job, why doesn’t he shift to a shower straight after work? When I did a manual sweaty job, that’s what I did. Usually I shower every morning but there’s no point if you are walking straight into sweat and filth!

Why doesn't he just swap to showering in evening after work instead of morning if he doesn't want two a day. Regardless of shagging I wouldn't want to be going to bed with someone who stinks of sweat

This. Obviously he values his co workers over you in terms of who he is willing to inflict stench on.

So he gets in to bed stinking? That’s disgusting, regardless of whether he wants a shag or not.

But he still sleeps in the bed while honking? Lovely

I can't believe he's not showering when he gets home when he has a manual job. My dh, db and everyone I know who is a tradesman or who has a manual job showers when they get home. Can't say I blame you to be honest.

So if it’s not “ sexy time” he’s not required to wash after work? 🤢

He says I can over exaggerate the smell, and thinks that a quick freshen up and deodorant is sufficient. If we are to be intimate, he’ll offer a ‘gentleman’s wash’ but I always insist on a shower.

Grim

God that’s disgusting. I have also showered after site/manual work.

Often in the morning and evening - but always in the evening and everyone I worked with was the same.

he wouldn’t be getting in my bed with or without intimacy if he was which. i’m not changing sheets every day for the sake of him having a 2 minute shower

A gentleman's wash ?

Is that what a penis beaker is for?

I totally get the bit about losing spontaneity - but that’s why he should shower every day after work as a standard thing!

It's very simple, if his whiff turns you off, sex isn't going to be very successful, is it !

The easy answer is for him to shower every day as soon as he gets in. Then he can be as spontaneous as he wishes 🤗

Brilliant. Sounds like something from Victorian times, “gentlemans wash” fgs 😂😂

Quite!

Showering is easier than washing anyway. You are NOT being unreasonable. Can you make the showering part of the fun?

Personally I like the smell of sweat (I'm a bit of an armpit sniffer 🫣), but if he's got BO and a cheesy groin, I'd expect him to be showering whether or not we were going to have sex!

No, YANBU. I wouldn’t want him to be sleeping in bed with me unwashed after a day of manual labour, let alone having sex with me.