To insist on DP showering before we are intimate

[GreenGreenGiant]

DP works a manual job, and can be a bit whiffy when he returns. I’ve always insisted on him showering before any intimacy which he has done without complaint. Recently, he is moaning about it and saying it kills any spontaneity as he doesn’t shower as a matter of course after work (he has one each morning). I would struggle to be intimate without him showering if I’m honest. Do you see his point of view or am I being a bit uptight?

I think it's only respectful to wash if he smells before getting intimate. I wouldn't even dream of coming home after a long day's work and getting intimate with someone. Yuck!!! He should be having a wash anyway after work regardless

This shouldn’t be about sex, it’s just basic hygiene!
My DP works a manual job, when he gets home he showers and puts clean clothes on, we can then be as spontaneous as we want until he leaves for work again early the next morning! Tell your DP to stop being a grot

Er I've never known a tradie not shower when they get home.

Also this is how you get UTIs and thrush etc. Speaking from bitter experience, not basing that on scientific proof admittedly! But I've always found it to be the case....

Ruins the mood for whom?

He wants to have sex despite (or possibly because) knowing she's turned off by his stench. He doesn't care that she is not "in the mood" directly due to he's either too lazy or uncaring to bathe. He argues with her and tries to gaslight her. That is a freaking weird dynamic he's got going on there.

WTF, ruins the mood.

If he only wants to shower once a day shower when he comes home. he will still be clean enough for work in a manual job in the morning.

If he wants spontaneous sex he will have to shower after work every day. Simple.

Well said, HE is ruining the mood with his stinky self!

I think you’re pretty unusual getting turned on by sweaty balls and unwashed arse, but we’re all different 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s not about germs but bad smells.

Blimey, I have an office job, and if have to commute to work, the first thing I do when I go home is have a shower.

I don't understand why people don't do that - or at least have a shower before bed anyway.

Saves any problem about spontaneity later.

Even without intimacy, I’d expect him to shower at night. Who wants to eat dinner and get into bed when you’re smelly? Yuck.

Last time I checked i don't go near either region when it's spontaneous sex..... but must be so boring to be you 👍

either your knowledge of the human anatomy is shocking, or you tried to make yourself look superior and you spectacularly failed 😂

Yep she was literally on about blowjobs earlier..

What I don’t get is that op wants him to have a shower so they can have sex but isn’t that bothered about him coming to bed smelling??

Unless I’m reading it wrong and they’ve got two single beds in the bedroom, like when med used to do the gentlemanly thing and wash their bits and pieces

He’s being very unreasonable to expect you to find his stench attractive. My ovaries have shrivelled up just thinking about it.

He's grim.

Yes it can ruin the moment but if he’s really stinky then no he showers

How long does a shower take , why should you put up with the smell even if you are not intimate?
He should come home , go upstairs , quick shower and then he can relax.Easy routine to get used to.He should also have a wash/ shower every morning.
Men are gross , shower after poo 💩