5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

[LoveFridaynight]

At what age would people feel uncomfortable to have a child of the opposite sex in the "wrong" toilet?
I was told off yesterday for taking my nearly 5 year old son in to the ladies. A woman in there said he should use the men's. No-one has ever said anything like this to me before. I could understand if he was a teenager or something but a young child?
Really? On his own? At 5? Not that he could anyway as he's autistic and not toilet trained so I needed to change his nappy.
I thought afterwards I should have used the disabled toilet but I try to avoid that incase someone who can only use the disabled toilet comes along. I think I will just do this in future though.
But regardless of disability I don't think children under the age of 9 should be in the toilet on their own.
What are your thoughts on the age a child should be using the "right" toilet?

I've only been letting DS 11 use the men's alone for about 18 months. He's small, finely built and has long blonde hair mind you so we possibly got away with it for a bit longer than is standard.

I still hate it when he's in the gents alone though - partly because of how he looks.

A 5 year old can’t be expected to go into the mens on their own
If you ( or they ) feel uncomfortable sending your male child ( when they are older) into the mens on their own you should use
communal facilities
ie accessible toilets
ie family toilets

They are there to facilitate anyone that needs them. They are enclosed

before anyone comes back with ‘no they are for disabled people only’. No. They are Not now and Never have been. They are accessible only and for all who need them for whatever reason.

Absolutely fine and expected for a 5 year old to be in the toilet with a parent regardless of gender. I don’t know why anyone would be so concerned to say anything to someone else about who is using a public toilet. We all just get in and get out and mind our own business surely? I’d need to see something extreme to bother to say to someone like older children looking under cubicles or something

For a ladies loo perhaps but upper primary aged girls would not be comfortable in a changing room at a pool with their make classmates.
Girls right to privacy is no less important than your concerns about a boys age 8 or 9.
I have two DS. We drive to the next town to swim as they have family changing room.
For public loos I stand outside and tell them to call if they get locked in.

I let my son start going to the men’s toilet on his own when he was about 10.

Ignore the crazy woman!!!

ignore her she’s a stupid cow.

The woman was being ridiculous. I wouldn't want a 5 year old to go into the men's toilet alone.
What are you supposed to do with him if he wants a wee and you see out alone with him?

No way in hell would I let a 5 year old go into a men’s room by himself. She was an idiot.

I've seen 7 in gym rules but then there's a family room available as an alternative.

You can't access the female toilets in my leisure centre without being in the female changing room. I'm not too bothered personally about strict age limits for the toilets themselves but the changing rooms where women and girls are undressed are not places I want boys over 7 to have access to.

My kids have gone in the mens on their own since they turned 8.

It isn't fine if he's accessing the women's changing area on his way to the cubicle. He needs to be in the disabled or family facility.

Personally I do find swimming pool ages anachronistic. I mean, it is a bit mad to expect just turned 7 to wash and dry themselves effectively, as well as necessarily being alone and naked... but to think they shouldn't be going into a public toilet alone for a quick wee, a task that they do multiple times a day on their own anyway. I know I'm sensitive because it's my child's age, but DS barely rinses half the soap out of his hair, he needs prompting, but he won't be ready to fly solo until 8 at this rate... and after swim lessons I see all the girls his age being helped too!

If they need prompting use the family room.

It seems OTT to expect a fiver year old to go to the men's alone. So yeah that woman was wrong. I guess the response would be 'he's only five and he needs me to help him'.
Maybe she doesn't have kids? Or was just being a bit weird.

I have a 5 year old son who is massive so looks around 8/9. He is non verbal, severe learning disabilities, autistic.

No one has ever batted an eye at me taking him into the ladies. If there are family toilets of disabled loos I often use them as he does have a blue badge but equally I don’t feel wrong to use the ladies either. Personally I think as long as kids are obviously ‘kids’ so right up to about 10/11 it’s fine. Surely it’s when they reach puberty that the whole ‘gender separation’ thing kicks in anyway?

Lots of nutty people about. She's one of them. Ignore.

I was recently at a motor way services where the queue for the women’s toilet had got totally out of hand (as they do) and the men’s was, of course, no queue. So all the women were sending all the kids in with their dads! I’m talking all kids 10 ish and bellow, in the men’s. Nobody cared and cut the queue in half for the women’s

No issue with boys under 11ish I’d say.

There isn't one at that pool.

No way, 5 is too young

If they're accessing women's changing areas I don't want boys that age in there. I think 11 is too old for the ladies toilets too.

Oh I see. The cut off point is 7 at mine but there is a family room.

Doesn’t everybody know the cutoff is usually 8?

Why so many threads on this topic recently? Is it spamming by trans groups to try to make it seem like women are crazy about the changing room / loos? IRL, nobody has an issue with a 5yo
with his mum in the women’s loo.

Not all pools have family changing rooms, ours doesn’t and they’re at opposing sides of the pool so are nowhere near each other. Whats more, the men’s area didn’t have any cubicles at that time.

I can’t tell you how uneasy I felt sending my small 8 year old son off to a closed room with naked men in it, while I dealt with his sister in the women’s changing rooms. Awful,