Is it normal for a masseur to offer "extras"?

[OrangeChips1]

My DH has a job which takes it's toll on his back so he gets occasional massages to try and straighten the knots out. I do give it a go but I can't get deep enough.

More often than not, it gets to the end of the massage and he's offered "extras" which really freaks him out. These are legit places in spas or gyms or on the high street with staff wearing uniforms etc.
We've noticed that when I've booked them on his behalf (as a gift or whatever) this doesn't happen.

Is it just the done thing and we're both naive about this? I never get offered any extras so I was always of the belief that a massage was a massage unless you go to a certain type of place 🤷🙈

YABU = you're naive
YANBU = that sounds like unusually bad luck

It does happen. To a very surprised dear male friend of mine... His wife went for regular facials, and she bought him a treatment, when the treatment was coming to and end, he was offered this. There was no miscommunication...

They absolutely do. I know someone who got a 'happy ending' in a Thai spa place in town, just outside of London.

Maybe it’s just like when we get asked if we want an ‘extra’ like a head massage when getting our hair washed at the hairdressers?! 😂

Yeh I think unlike other posters I'm believing it does happen more than we'd like to think but either
a) is welcome
b) the person says no thank you and just moves on or
c) the person freaks out and never mentions it to anyone

Only place my husband has ever been offered extras was in a very expensive hotel in Singapore. I knew as soon as he came back to the room something was up - he looked mortified. 🤣

The simple answer is, a physiotherapist. I have had back issues and have a friend (male) who is a qualified physio, in that he's done 4 years at university training.
The "massages" he gives to relieve tight back muscles are not something anyone would do for fun. They are excruciatingly painful. However, they really work in the aftermath. If your husband wants to sort his back out this is what he needs.

Same here. The spa I used to go to, made a specific mention in their tens and conditions that if it wasn’t asked for, you’d be asked to leave.

I have heard about this happening a lot. My DH says that there a few well known in the area that offers extras and we live in a nice suburb too. I think its not well know by women, but certainly the men know about it!! We had this convo when i booked him a massage for his birthday.
My friend (woman) lived in new york for a bit and she got asked if she wanted some extras there quite a bit!!
Dh doesnt partake, I hope.. however it would be one less job off my hands if he did 😂might book him a massage.

I was also offered a head massage as an extra, so I wonder if extras meant legit ones rather than the sort Op is thinking of. (head massages are the best and well worth it by the way :) )

This was akin to what he had (not relaxing at all!) but I'll suggest going to a physiotherapist now.
I think these posts are helping me form a picture.

The place we went to in India
..he said the massage was good but the vibes were off and he didn't like it, felt dodgy. I thought it might be in his head till I read the autobiography which suggested she's been asked for "more" so much that she started seeing it as easy money.
She didn't say anything as I was sitting next door but it's possible she was trying to non verbally indicated that she could if he wanted her to.
The place he went to recently is on punters as known for extras but no indication on website or Google at all.
There may also be times he's misinterpreting the situation based on past experiences.

Proper beauticians are usually fairly busy and obviously run to a diary so wouldn't have time to offer any 'extras'. The next client is usually waiting.

🤣
Thanks for sharing, I'm thinking it happens more than we think too

So he has a problem with his back but hasn't been to the Dr or anyone medical, just goes for massages possibly in frequently in massage parlours by mistake?

If you insist!

What are they offering because nothing is free he would get charged. Unless they are offering to massage his cock there is nothing illegal in offering extras.

For a proper massage, it's generally best to avoid high street, beauty-salon type places OP. Your DH needs to go somewhere that's more therapeutic, with qualified, knowledgeable massage therapists rather than 'masseuses'. You can tell from the website what kind of place it is. They'll offer a range of treatments and explain them in depth.

I imagine a beauty salon on a chi-chi high street is precisely the kind of place to offer 'extras' with massage, especially in these hard-up times!

Well, first of all I would get the massage therapist to spell out what extras they are offering! If these are sex services, report them to the police.

If it is innocuous extras like aromatherapy oils he can buy and take home, or something like that (unlikely) then OK.

Sorry, but another thought is that many men cover up using prostitutes by saying they are going for a massage. Is this something he might do for stress release? Has he ever lied to you? I hope this is NOT the case.

"Each time more and more legit" that's a very strange thing to say..... so hes admitting they are not legit 😬

He needs to stop messing about with massage parlors and go and see a registered physiotherapist check it here and then go https://www.hcpc-uk.org/check-the-register/ you can be sure they wont offer extras to a very delusional man who has been frequenting massage parlors for years and misleading his wife in case anyone blows the whistle on his behavior

No, it's not normal. Male and female friends are having regular massage - sport and aging middle-age bodies don't mix well 😂- most people don't care if it's a male or female therapist, and never heard of any offer of a "happy ending".

2 of my close friends are therapists themselves! Pretty sure they don't offer prostitution, and it's frankly insulting to insinuate it's normal thing for therapists to do!

It most definitely does. If your rubbing someones whole body with your hands, I suppose its not a massive stretch to also rub their penises for ten minutes for an extra 50 quid.

My woman friend was also looking into tantric massages a while back, I remember her telling me about it, you can book a massage with a guy you will give you an intimate massage, she ws single at the time and apparently very horny. 😂

I think in the olden days this was a regular thing for women to book for themselves too and was prescribed by drs, I think this is how the vibrator was invented.

If he was coming to you "distressed", he'd find a male masseur who didn't offer extras and stick with him.
Frankly, you sound like Howard and Hilda.

I missed this post. These women have low opinions of men in general it's not your husband it's all men.

Both physios and beauticians have mentioned they get asked whether booking but no way do they do it.

Only those just doing massage are brothels.

I can’t believe it! I used the tip here - put the name of a massage place in town plus “punting” in google, and here we go, punters forum, reviews of what’s offered. I guess this is where this type of work happens these days.

But he's been offered extra by males too.